Spring Day

Have you ever loved somebody? Have you ever lost somebody? Have you ever felt longing so deep for someone but you couldn’t reach for them? Have you ever felt missing someone so much but you couldn’t see them anymore? It’s devastating, right? It brings pain and despair deeper than we can ever imagine. It brings loneliness darker than we can ever imagine. And those things are killing us from the inside. They are more deadly than any other physical pain, since they have the ability to create some physical pain too. I guess it’s true when people say that loneliness kills more people than cancer does. We’re desperately counting the days until we can see that person again, but along the way we’re hurt and killed slowly by the loneliness. We’re pathetically waiting for the time when we can meet that person again, but along the way we’re tormented little by little by the pain and despair. It’s like a long cold and harsh winter; and we are waiting for the spring day to come again to embrace us in warmth.

“Snowflakes are falling down, and you are getting farther away little by little. I miss you. How much longer do I have to wait? And how many sleepless nights do I have to spend until I can see you, until I can meet you?” –BTS, Spring Day (봄날)

This song is one that I feel so related since I have personal experience with. It is titled “Spring Day (봄날)”, performed by South Korean boyband, BTS. The alternative hip hop track was released as a single on February 13th 2017, in spring. It served as the first single taken from the repackaged album of 2016 “Wings”, titled “You Never Walk Alone”. “Spring Day (봄날)” was written by BTS’ members Rap Monster and Suga, along with Pdogg, Adora, Park Si Hyuk, Arlissa Rupert, and Peter Ibsen. Lyrically, “Spring Day (봄날)” explored the longing that persists when companionship is complicated by separation. It is being said that this song was written to commemorate the Sewol ferry tragedy, as the lyrics and some symbolization used in the music video were referring to the tragedy. As for me personally, “Spring Day (봄날)” was one of representative songs of my darkest days back in 2017, when I was forced to go the distance with my partner, and everything turned so bleak between us with all the tragedy that occurred back then. Hence, this song is very personal for me.
Losing someone is indeed a very big deal; moreover when we are getting used to spend our every time with that person. No matter what we say or what we do, we miss them. And looking at some photos only makes us missing them more. We miss them so much until we hate the time itself for separating us with that person. We despise the space and distance too for it. “I miss you, saying it like this makes me miss you even more. Even though I’m looking at your photo, I miss you still. Time is so cruel, I hate how things go between us, now that seeing each other for once is so hard between us.” And even summer feels like winter without that person beside us. And we wish spring would come soon for us. “It’s all winter here, even in August. My heart is running on the time, as I was left alone on the Snowpiercer. I want to hold your hand to the other side of the earth. I want to put an end to this winter. How much do I have to long for you like snow piles up on the ground until the spring days come, friend?”
Separation makes us hating; probably not the person but the situation. We curse the universe as it puts us apart from that person. “Is it you who have changed? Or is it me who has changed? I hate even this moment that is passing by. I guess we both have changed, just like everyone else we know. Yes, I hate you because you left me, but I never stopped thinking about you, not even a day. Honestly, I miss you, but I will erase you now, because it hurts less than to blame you.” As we try to erase that person, we cannot help but wondering how to get closer to them. As we try to wash their image away, we cannot help but wondering how to reach them. “Floating in the air like a tiny dust, like a tiny dust. If I were the snow flying in the air, I could have reached you a little faster.” And in the end, we cannot really let them go. In the end, we’re still breathing in pain because we cannot stop thinking about them. “I try to exhale you in pain, like smoke, like white smoke. I say that I’m going to erase you, but I can’t really let you go yet.”
Separation makes us resenting; probably not the person but the situation. We blame the universe for bringing us the long time to wait and the lonely sleepless night without that person beside us. “Snowflakes are falling down, and you are getting farther away little by little. I miss you. How much longer do I have to wait? And how many sleepless nights do I have to spend until I can see you, until I can meet you?” However though, as hurtful as it is, nothing lasts forever. Hence we still have hope; that the winter will finally come to an end. “You know it all, you’re my best friend, the morning sun will rise again. There is no darkness, and no season that can last forever.” And all we need is just a little patience; to endure some more of the pain and loneliness from the waiting; for we believe that the day will eventually come. “It seems like cherry blossoms are blooming, and this winter will be over. I miss you. If I wait a little longer, if I stay up all nights for a couple of more days, I’ll be there to meet you, I’ll come to get you.”
“Passing by the edge of the cold winter, until the days of the spring come again, until the days of the flower blossoms come again. Please stay there a little longer, please stay there.” Being separated from someone whom we used to deeply care and love every day is indeed one of hardest things in life. I’ve been there and done that. Everything we do in the effort to stop missing that person is just making it worse. We get long for them more and more instead. Losing someone whom we truly love and need from our side is indeed one of most difficult things in life. I’ve been there and done that. Our surroundings feel like the cold harsh winter. And even things we like to do seem to do nothing better to our devastating feelings. However, as much as we despise the fate, as much as we love that person, we can always find hope amidst everything; the hope that spring will eventually come. Nothing lasts forever, even the cold November rain, even the cold harsh winter. And in the end, there will come a day when we can be together again. And when that time comes, we won’t let go anymore.

“It seems like cherry blossoms are blooming, and this winter will be over. I miss you. If I wait a little longer, if I stay up all nights for a couple of more days, I’ll be there to meet you, I’ll come to get you.” –BTS, Spring Day (봄날)

보고싶다이렇게 말하니까더보고싶다 너희사진을 보고있어도보고싶다
(Bogo sipda ireohge malhanikka deo bogo sipda neohui sajineul bogo isseodo bogo sipda)
((I miss you, saying it like this makes me miss you even more, even though I’m looking at your photo, I miss you still))
너무야속한시간 나는우리가밉다 이젠얼굴한번보는것도 힘들어진우리가
(Neomu yasokhan sigan naneun uriga mipda ijen eolgul han beon boneun geosdo himdeureojin uriga)
((Time is so cruel, I hate how things go between us, now that seeing each other for once is so hard between us))

여긴온통겨울뿐이야 8월에도겨울이와
(Yeogin ontong gyeoul ppuniya palworedo gyeouri wa)
((It’s all winter here, even in August, it’s all winter here))
마음은시간을달려가네 홀로남은설국열차
(Maeumeun siganeul dallyeogane hollo nameun seolgugyeolcha)
((My heart is running on the time, as I was left alone on the Snowpiercer))
니손잡고지구 반대편까지가 겨울을끝내고파
(Ni son japgo jigu bandaepyeonkkaji ga gyeoureul kkeutnaegopa)
((I want to hold your hand to the other side of the earth, I want to put an end to this winter))
그리움들이 얼마나눈처럼내려야 그봄날이올까 friend
(Geuriumdeuri eolmana nuncheoreom naeryeoya geu bomnari olkka, friend)
((How much do I have to long for you like snow piles up on the ground until the spring days come, friend?))

허공을떠도는 작은먼지처럼 작은먼지처럼
(Heogongeul tteodoneun jageun meonjicheoreom jageun meonjicheoreom)
((Floating in the air like a tiny dust, like a tiny dust))
날리는눈이나라면 조금더빨리네게 닿을수있을텐데
(Nallineun nuni naramyeon jogeum deo ppalli nege daheul su isseul tende)
((If I were the snow flying in the air, I could have reached you a little faster))

눈꽃이떨어져요 또조금씩멀어져요 보고싶다 보고싶다
(Nunkkocci tteoreojyeoyo tto jogeumssik meoreojyeoyo bogo sipda bogo sipda)
((Snowflakes are falling down, and you are getting farther away little by little, I miss you, I miss you))
얼마나기다려야 또몇밤을더새워야 널보게될까 만나게될까
(Eolmana gidaryeoya tto myeot bameul deo saewoya neol boge doelkka mannage doelkka)
((How much longer do I have to wait? And how many sleepless nights do I have to spend until I can see you, until I can meet you?))

추운겨울끝을지나 다시봄날이올때까지 꽃피울때까지
(Chuun gyeoul kkeuteul jina dasi bomnari ol ttaekkaji kkot piul ttaekkaji)
((Passing by the edge of the cold winter, until the days of the spring come again, until the days of the flower blossoms come again))
그곳에좀더머물러줘 머물러줘
(Geugose jom deo meomulleojwo meomulleojwo)
((Please stay there a little longer, please stay there))

니가변한건지 아니면내가변한건지
(Niga byeonhan geonji animyeon naega byeonhan geonji)
((Is it you who have changed? Or is it me who has changed?))
이순간흐르는시간조차미워 우리가변한거지뭐 모두가그런거지뭐
(I sungan heureuneun siganjocha miwo uriga byeonhan geoji mwo moduga geureon geoji mwo)
((I hate even this moment that is passing by, I guess we both have changed, just like everyone else we know))
그래밉다니가 넌떠났지만 단하루도너를 잊은적이없었지난
(Geurae mipda niga neon tteonassjiman dan harudo neoreul ijeun jeogi eopseossji nan)
((Yes, I hate you because you left me, but I never stopped thinking about you, not even a day))
솔직히보고싶은데 이만너를지울게 그게널원망하기보단 덜아프니까
(Soljikhi bogo sipeunde iman neoreul jiulge geuge neol wonmanghagibodan deol apeunikka)
((Honestly, I miss you, but I will erase you now, because it hurts less than to blame you))

시린널불어내본다 연기처럼하얀연기처럼
(Sirin neol bureonae bonda yeongicheoreom hayan yeongicheoreom)
((I try to exhale you in pain, like smoke, like white smoke))
말로는지운다해도 사실난아직널보내지못하는데
(Malloneun jiunda haedo sasil nan ajik neol bonaeji moshaneunde)
((I say that I’m going to erase you, but I can’t really let you go yet))

눈꽃이떨어져요 또조금씩멀어져요 보고싶다 보고싶다
(Nunkkocci tteoreojyeoyo tto jogeumssik meoreojyeoyo bogo sipda bogo sipda)
((Snowflakes are falling down, and you are getting farther away little by little, I miss you, I miss you))
얼마나기다려야 또몇밤을더새워야 널보게될까 만나게될까
(Eolmana gidaryeoya tto myeot bameul deo saewoya neol boge doelkka mannage doelkka)
((How much longer do I have to wait? And how many sleepless nights do I have to spend until I can see you, until I can meet you?))

You know it all, you’re my best friend, 아침은다시올거야
(You know it all, you’re my best friend, achimeun dasi ol geoya)
((You know it all, you’re my best friend, the morning sun will rise again))
어떤어둠도어떤계절도 영원할순없으니까
(Eotteon eodumdo eotteon gyejeoldo yeongwonhal sun eopseunikka)
((There is no darkness, and no season that can last forever))

벚꽃이피나봐요 이겨울도끝이나요 보고싶다 보고싶다
(Beojkkocci pinabwayo i gyeouldo kkeuti nayo bogo sipda bogo sipda)
((It seems like cherry blossoms are blooming, and this winter will be over, I miss you I miss you))
조금만기다리면 며칠밤만더새우면 만나러갈게 데리러갈게
(Jogeumman gidarimyeon myeochil bamman deo saeumyeon mannareo galge derireo galge)
((If I wait a little longer, if I stay up all nights for a couple of more days, I’ll be there to meet you, I’ll come to get you))

추운겨울끝을지나 다시봄날이올때까지 꽃피울때까지
(Chuun gyeoul kkeuteul jina dasi bomnari ol ttaekkaji kkot piul ttaekkaji)
((Passing by the edge of the cold winter, until the days of the spring come again, until the days of the flower blossoms come again))
그곳에좀더머물러줘 머물러줘
(Geugose jom deo meomulleojwo meomulleojwo)
((Please stay there a little longer, please stay there))

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