Maybe I

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Among many things in this world that has made me questioning about life, there is this one thing that I always believe: everything happens for a reason. Even though we cannot see clearly what it is now, even though we do not have the answer at the moment, there is always a reason why something happens. Even though we cannot accept it now, even though we do not understand it at the moment, there is always a reason why it happens in our life. Even though it may seem as unexplainable now, there will be time when it can be explained. Even though it may seem as irrational at the moment, there will come a time when it all comes in a full circle. And we will know when we know it. We will understand when we understand it. And by that time, we will be able to cherish every single thing that has happened in our life that has led us to that particular moment. By then, we will be able to embrace it and to feel grateful towards things that we have experienced and have brought us upon that point in our life. Maybe not today, but it must be someday.

“Though you’re pretending to be alright by trying to smile, sadness is in your eyes, always. I know your scars better than anyone else, but I can’t say anything, so it hurts. What should I do with my feelings?” –Roy Kim, Maybe I (어쩌면 나)

This song is titled “Maybe I (어쩌면 나)”, performed by the gorgeous Korean singer-songwriter, Roy Kim. He recorded the song for the soundtrack of 2016 popular drama series, “Another Oh Hae Young”. It was released as the single album “Another Oh Hae Young OST Part 4” on May 24th 2016. The official accompany music video for “Maybe I (어쩌면 나)” was premiered on Mnet on May 23rd 2016 featuring scenes from “Another Oh Hae Young” drama series. Lyrically, the song follows the lead male character in the drama series, Park Do Kyung (portrayed by Eric Mun), as he found his feeling is developing towards Oh Hae Young (portrayed by Seo Hyun Jin).
"Another Oh Hae Young OST Part 4" single cover | source: wiki.d-addicts.com

They say that broken people were attracted to each other. But honestly I don’t know which one came first: were we attracted because we had similarity (in brokenness) or were we had similarity hence we were attracted to each other? People only found similarity when they had begun to know each other, but was it possible for us to get attracted by something we haven’t found out before? Could there be that kind of force? As much as I do believe about the existence of magical force in this universe, I would rather to call it as a course of destiny. At some point in our life, we meet that person who has similarity with us. Perhaps, we’ve been through similar pain. Hence we could understand and have empathy towards that person. And without we realize it, we become closer with that person for the sense of familiarity and belonging. “Though you’re pretending to be alright by trying to smile, sadness is in your eyes, always. I know your scars better than anyone else, but I can’t say anything, so it hurts. What should I do with my feelings?”
It all began with empathy, and then the feeling unknowingly grew into something more and deeper. And as hard as we tried to deny it, it would only grow stronger when it was meant to be. As hard as we tried to run away from it, we would only keep coming back to it when it was meant to be. And as the time went by, we would only realize that the empathy had turned into something else. It had evolved. And that was when we know. “I tried to be indifferent and turn away, but the more I avoided you, the more I missed you. Now I can’t hide my heart any longer.” That was when we know that, maybe, the person was the one we’ve been waiting for. That was when we know that, maybe, the person was the one who’s waiting for us in the end of the line. That was when we know that, maybe, the person was the one designed by the course of destiny to make us understand; to make everything comes in a full circle. “You’re just like the wind; you came suddenly and messed up my heart. But maybe for a long time, you’re the one I’ve been waiting for.”
When we began to accept our feelings, that was when we know that meeting the person perhaps was the reason why we went through all things that we’ve been through. That was when we understand that the courses of our destiny had led us to this particular moment where we met that person. That was when we realize that everything that had happened in our past was meant to happen in order to prepare us for this particular time when we met that person. “Feels like I went through all those things in order to meet you.” And just like the wind, our life was messed by the stroke but also was caressed by the breeze. And just like the starlight, our heart was shined by the light and was touched by the warmth. And that was when we understand, we were destined to meet that person to finally be able to be brave; to be not afraid anymore of being happy, to feel that we deserve, that we are worth it, to feel joy and to be loved. “You’re like the starlight. Like the starlight, you came into my dark heart. Maybe I have met you to finally find happiness.”
Listening to this song makes me think about two things. First, at this point in life, I can say that, based on my experiences, I don’t agree with what people say that broken people were attracted to each other. Perhaps it is true that the force of the universe is somehow playing a significant role in bringing people together. However, it’s not the brokenness that could bring two souls together. It is actually the sense of familiarity and belonging. Hence, it doesn’t have to be brokenness. And two souls don’t have to be broken in order for them to meet the sense of familiarity and belonging. The second thing is that it takes the right person to make us able to realize that we deserve of something more than just sadness and loneliness in life. Heartbreak has turned people into fearful personality who are scared of being happy, whether they realize it or not. And yes, only the right person who comes in the right time is the one who’s able to give meanings upon the heartbreak that we’ve been through; that somehow, it all could lead to happiness.

“Like the starlight, you came into my dark heart. Maybe I have met you to finally find happiness.” –Roy Kim, Maybe I (어쩌면 나)





애써 괜찮은 척 웃고 있지만 그 눈가엔 슬픔이 고였지 언제나
(Aesseo gwaenchanheun cheok usgo issjiman geu nungaen seulpeumi goyeossji eonjena)
((Though you’re pretending to be alright by trying to smile, sadness is in your eyes, always))
그대의 상처를 누구보다 잘 알고 있어서 어떤 말도 할 수 없어서 아파와
(Geudaeui sangcheoreul nuguboda jal algo isseoseo eotteon maldo hal su eopseoseo apawa)
((I know your scars better than anyone else, but I can’t say anything, so it hurts))
이런 내 마음을 어떻게 해야 할까
(Ireon nae maeumeul eotteohge haeya halkka)
((What should I do with my feelings?))

그댄 바람처럼 내 마음을 흐트러뜨리지만
(Geudaen baramcheoreom nae maeumeul heuteureotteurijiman)
((You’re just like the wind, you came suddenly and messed up my heart))
어쩌면 나 아주 오랫동안 그댈 기다려 온 것만 같아
(Eojjeomyeon na aju oraesdongan geudael gidaryeo on geosman gata)
((But maybe for a long time, you’re the one I’ve been waiting for))

애써 무심한 척 돌아섰지만 피하려 할수록 난 그대가 그리워
(Aesseo musimhan cheok doraseossjiman piharyeo halsurok nan geudaega geuriwo)
((I tried to be indifferent and turn away, but the more I avoided you, the more I missed you))
이제는 더 이상 내 마음을 숨길 수가 없어
(Ijeneun deo isang nae maeumeul sumgil suga eopseo)
((Now I can’t hide my heart any longer))

그댄 바람처럼 내 마음을 흐트러뜨리지만
(Geudaen baramcheoreom nae maeumeul heuteureotteurijiman)
((You’re just like the wind, you came suddenly and messed up my heart))
어쩌면 나 아주 오랫동안 그댈 기다려 온 것만 같아
(Eojjeomyeon na aju oraesdongan geudael gidaryeo on geosman gata)
((But maybe for a long time, you’re the one I’ve been waiting for))

마치 그댈 만나기 위해 그 모둘 견뎌온 것만 같아
(Machi geudael mannagi wihae geu modul gyeondyeoon geosman gata)
((Feels like I went through all those things in order to meet you))

그댄 별빛처럼 저 별빛처럼 어두운 내 마음에 스며들어
(Geudaen byeolbicccheoreom jeo byeolbicccheoreom eoduun nae maeume seumyeodeureo)
((You’re like the starlight, like the starlight, you came into my dark heart))
어쩌면 나 그대를 만나 행복을 찾게 될 것만 같아
(Eojjeomyeon na geudaereul manna haengbogeul chajge doel geosman gata)
((Maybe I have met you to finally find happiness))

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