If It Were You

I guess the hardest part of being in love is when we think that we fight alone. It is when we think that our efforts are not recognized by the person whom we hold most dear. It is when we feel that our sincere intention and authentic feelings are being ignored by the person we cherish the most. At this point, I guess being in love could be so much painful. At this point, we even have no idea what to do to make that person recognize our efforts. And we don’t have any idea what to say to deliver our sincere intention and authentic feelings. At this point, we can only wish that the person could feel what we feel. We can only hope that the person could realize how much we feel for them. We can only wish that the person were able to be in our shoes. However, that’s just a wishful thinking. They can never really understand how we really feel. The least that we can only look forward is that they will be able to open their heart and mind to try to understand. For only that way then they can accept our efforts, sincere intention, and authentic feelings for them.

“If it were you, how would it be? What if these crazy days of mine became yours? If you were breaking down as much as I do, will you understand then, all the pain that fills me to the point where my heart is about to explode, and how much I want you?” –Jung Seung Hwan, If It Is You (너였다면)

This song is probably my favorite from the soundtrack of “Another Oh Hae Young” drama series. It is titled “If It Is You (너였다면)”, performed by Korean male singer, Jung Seung Hwan. The ballad track was released on May 31st 2016 as the single “Another Oh Hae Young OST Part 5”. Though an official music video was not released for this song, Jung Seung Hwan performed it live on radio and television broadcast, which is quite rare for a soundtrack to be live promoted by the singer. Lyrically, “If It Is You (너였다면)” served as the theme song for lead male character in the drama series, Park Do Kyung (portrayed by Eric Mun), when he was heartbroken from being separated from Oh Hae Young (portrayed by Seo Hyun Jin), because she got furious after finding the truth about Do Kyung’s past mistake towards her. I personally think that Jung’s melancholic voice suits very well with the sentiments of this heart-wrenching song. I love it. It’s heartbreakingly beautiful.


"Another Oh Hae Young OST Part 5" single cover | source: wiki.d-addicts.com

People say that love hurts. And I can understand why. Only the person who’s meant so much for us that is able to hurt us. As much as they mean to us, the deeper they could make us hurt. And sometimes, only when we got hurt by that person we can finally realize how much that person means for us. And it hurts so much more when we realize that our love is unrequited. “Why is it so hard for you to properly see my efforts and the way that I’m trying? It took me by surprise to see how much I could get hurt because of you, my days are struggles, and even my dreams are painful.” People say that love brings happiness. However, people who said that didn’t tell the whole thing about love. There is this side of love that brings pain. It is when the person whom we hold most dear is turning their back away on us. It is when we always see the back of the person whom we cherish the most. It is when our efforts are unrecognized. It is when our feeling is unrequited. It is when our efforts are ignored. It is when our feeling is not reciprocal.
“My heart is endlessly drowning in the ground. I’m afraid of everything that surrounds me. They say you’ll be happy when you fall in love. Who the hell said that? Because I only know a love that looks at you from behind.” As much painful as it is, we wonder how would it be if that person were the one to feel the pain. We wonder if we were switching place with that person. Would they be able to feel us? Would they be able to understand? And we wonder if that was the only way that person could understand our feeling; the pain we have to withstand and the madness we have to bear. Only then, that person could understand how we spend every single day in torture and devastation. Hence, they could understand how deep and sincere our love is. “It if were you, how would it be? What if these crazy days of mine became yours? If you were breaking down as much as I do, will you understand then, all the pain that fills me to the point where my heart is about to explode, and how much I want you? If I were you, I would just love me.”
Knowing that the person is indifferent towards us, we keep on going anyway; holding with all the pain by ourselves. “I know that you already answered me. And I also know the meaning of an answer without answer, but I pretend not to know and I’m lingering around.” Why do we keep doing it? for us, the answer is crystal clear. It is because it is the only thing we can do. It is because we know it all too well that letting that person go is probably worse than all the pain we have to bear at the moment. It is because we know it all too well that no matter how bad it is, the love that we have is giving us strength to keep going. Even though we feel like dying, we feel alive in every second of loving that person. “Do you know how I’m doing these days? I can’t even fall asleep, I can’t even swallow anything. Do you know that I’m becoming more and more ruined as I look at you? I feel like dying, even though there’s no way you’ll come to me, even though I know you’re looking somewhere else. That way, I don’t think I can let go of you.”
Do you know why it is so hard for some people to let go of an unrequited love? For some people, unrequited love is what giving them hope to love. For people like them, they know no other form of love instead of giving and giving without taking back. For people like them, they only know how to keep doing it without any knowledge on how to stop. For people like them, they only know how to fight for it without any knowledge on how to give up. For some people like them, the efforts they make are things that make them realize that they are truly in love. For some people like them, the pain and heartache that they feel are things that make them understand that they are being in love. Hence, for some people like them, it is not easy to let go of it, because they know that the feeling they have is sincere, even though they realize it through unrecognized efforts and painful heartbreak. And eventually, they could only wish that the person would understand how they feel; that the person could know how it were like to be them.

“I feel like dying, even though there’s no way you’ll come to me, even though I know you’re looking somewhere else. That way, I don’t think I can let go of you.” –Jung Seung Hwan, If It Is You (너였다면)





너에겐 그렇게 어려운지 애를 쓰는 나를 제대로 봐주는
(Wae neoegen geureohge eoryeounji aereul sseuneun nareul jedaero bwajuneun ge)
((Why is it so hard for you to properly see my efforts and the way that I’m trying?))
하나에 이토록 아플 있음에 놀라곤 고단했던 하루 나는 꿈을 꿔도 아파
(Neo hanae itorok apeul su isseume nollagon hae godanhaessdeon haru naneun kkumeul kkwodo apa)
((It took me by surprise to see how much I could get hurt because of you, my days are struggles, and even my dreams are painful))

너였다면 어떨 같아 이런 미친 날들이 하루가 되면 말야
(Neoyeossdamyeon eotteol geot gata ireon michin naldeuri ne haruga doemyeon marya)
((If it were you, how would it be? What if these crazy days of mine became yours?))
너도 나만큼 혼자 부서져 본다면 알게 될까
(Neodo namankeum honja buseojyeo bondamyeon alge doelkka)
((If you were breaking down as much as I do, will you understand then?))
가슴이 터질 가득 채운 통증과 얼마나 너를 원하고 있는지
(Gaseumi teojil deut nal gadeuk chaeun tongjeunggwa eolmana neoreul wonhago issneunji)
((All the pain that fills me to the point where my heart is about to explode, and how much I want you))
내가 너라면 그냥 사랑할 텐데
(Naega neoramyeon geunyang nal saranghal tende)
((If I were you, I would just love me))

가슴은 한없이 바닥까지 나를 둘러싸는 모든 두려워져
(Nae gaseumeun haneopsi badakkkaji nareul dulleossaneun modeun ge duryeowojyeo)
((My heart is endlessly drowning in the ground, I’m afraid of everything that surrounds me))
사랑에 빠지면 행복한 거라니 누가 그래 뒷모습만 보는 그런 사랑하는 내게
(Da sarange ppajimyeon haengbokhan georani nuga geurae dwitmoseupman boneun geureon saranghaneun naege)
((They say you’ll be happy when you fall in love, who the hell said that? Because I only know a love that looks at you from behind))

너였다면 어떨 같아 이런 미친 날들이 하루가 되면 말야
(Neoyeossdamyeon eotteol geot gata ireon michin naldeuri ne haruga doemyeon marya)
((If it were you, how would it be? What if these crazy days of mine became yours?))
너도 나만큼 혼자 부서져 본다면 알게 될까
(Neodo namankeum honja buseojyeo bondamyeon alge doelkka)
((If you were breaking down as much as I do, will you understand then?))
가슴이 터질 가득 채운 통증과 얼마나 너를 원하고 있는지
(Gaseumi teojil deut nal gadeuk chaeun tongjeunggwa eolmana neoreul wonhago issneunji)
((All the pain that fills me to the point where my heart is about to explode, and how much I want you))
내가 너라면 그냥 사랑할 텐데
(Naega neoramyeon geunyang nal saranghal tende)
((If I were you, I would just love me))

이미 너는 내게 대답한 알아
(Imi neoneun naege daedaphan geol ara)
((I know that you already answered me))
대답 없는 대답의 의미 알면서도 모르는 맴도는데
(Daedap eopsneun daedabui uimi da almyeonseodo nan moreuneun cheok maemdoneunde)
((And I also know the meaning of an answer without answer, but I pretend not to know and I’m lingering around))

요즘 나는 어떤 아니 편히 잠을 수도 삼켜낼 수도 없어
(Yojeum naneun eotteon jul ani pyeonhi jameul jal sudo mwol samkyeonael sudo eopseo)
((Do you know how I’m doing these days? I can’t even fall asleep, I can’t even swallow anything))
바라보다 점점 망가져 가는 알긴 할까
(Neol baraboda jeomjeom manggajyeo ganeun nal algin halkka)
((Do you know that I’m becoming more and more ruined as I look at you?))
죽을 같아도 내게 없대도 곳만 보는 너란 알아도
(Jugeul geot gatado neon naege ol ri eopsdaedo ttan gotman boneun neoran geol arado)
((I feel like dying, even though there’s no way you’ll come to me, even though I know you’re looking somewhere else))
그런 너를 놓을 없을 같아
(Geureon neoreul nan noheul sun eopseul geot gata)

((That way, I don’t think I can let go of you))

Share:

0 komentar