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pieces of me



Prolog

Tulisan ini terpantik oleh suasana media sosial yang menurut saya begitu memprihatinkan. Baru awal bulan ini saya menjadi moderator dalam sebuah diskusi mengenai bahaya polarisasi di media digital. (Lebih lanjut mengenai polarisasi di media digital akan saya bahas pada tulisan yang lain.) Dan saat ini kasus nyata terpampang di hadapan saya dalam bentuk adu argumentasi di salah satu akun yang muncul pada linimasa akun media sosial saya. Isunya: bahaya laten komunis dan PKI gaya baru. Arus informasi pada media sosial terpolarisasi: kubu yang terus menggaungkan bahaya laten komunis dan PKI versus kubu yang mencoba mengungkap kejadian yang dihilangkan dari buku teks sejarah tentang kejadian 30 September 1965. Menariknya lagi, polarisasi juga terjadi antara: kubu yang mendukung pemutaran film bersejarah “Pengkhianatan G30S/PKI” dan kubu yang mencaci-maki bagaimana bisa film laknat itu kembali diputar setelah kita tahu bahwa muatannya telah mendukung propaganda rezim Orde Baru dalam melakukan pemelintiran sejarah. Di tengah suasana ‘panas’ ini, saya mencoba berdamai dengan diri saya sendiri dengan cara menuangkan pendapat saya dalam tulisan ini. Semoga bisa cukup mencerahkan.



September yang Tidak Ceria

Tidak terasa, kita sampai pada penghujung bulan September (lagi). Terhitung ini bulan September ke-28 sejak saya lahir di dunia sebagai seorang Mashita Fandia. Terhitung ini bulan September ke-2018 sejak bumi menggunakan sistem penanggalan masehi. Terhitung ini bulan September ke-53 sejak salah satu kejadian yang memulai rentetan peristiwa monumental di Indonesia. Ya, suka dan duka menjadi orang Indonesia, menurut saya, salah satunya adalah bahwa setiap akhir bulan September, keadaan tidak selalu ceria bagaikan lagu yang didendangkan oleh Vina Panduwinata. Tidak ada “September Ceria” di penghujung bulan September di Indonesia. Mengapa? Karena isu yang ‘dimasak’ oleh ‘penguasa’ adalah isu yang itu-itu lagi, itu-itu lagi, itu-itu saja lagi, dan itu-itu terus hingga entah kapan; yaitu isu bahaya laten komunis dan PKI.

Memang isu itu terasa tidak nyaman bagi sebagian orang saja, terutama kaum yang berpikir dan progresif. (Oh, iya, saya sedikit sombong di sini. Maaf.) Bagi mereka yang terlena (baca: dilenakan oleh industri dan kapitalisme) pada indahnya dunia tentunya tidak akan ambil pusing soal ini. Dan bagi orang-orang seperti mereka, September adalah ceria layaknya lagu Tante Vina. Namun bagi saya, wacana yang beredar dan selalu diramaikan lagi setiap akhir September mengenai bahaya laten komunis dan PKI merupakan sesuatu yang memprihatinkan. Mengapa? Saya rasa alasannya cukup jelas. Alih-alih mengembalikan isu kepada ‘betapa ideologi komunis telah menghancurkan Pancasila’ atau ‘betapa PKI telah sangat kejam’ atau ‘ingat! PKI itu atheis dan anarkis, sehingga mereka layak dibantai’, menurut saya, seharusnya kita sudah bisa beranjak dari itu semua dan mulai memikirkan hajat hidup seluruh masyarakat Indonesia ke depannya. Sudahlah. Ideologi komunis sudah mati! Lihatlah buktinya! Kapitalisme lho sudah berkembang di mana-mana, di seluruh dunia, bahkan hingga ke pelosok desa dan pesisir Indonesia! Bahkan ia merasuk pada kehidupan berpolitik dan beragama, hingga ranah psikologis kita. Sadarlah wahai Kawan~~~

Sudah saatnya kita beranjak dari isu-isu ‘jahat dan bahaya’ yang mirisnya selalu digembar-gemborkan dari tahun ke tahun itu. Sekarang saatnya kita memikirkan rekonsiliasi. Oke, sebelum masuk ke sana, rasanya tidak adil apabila saya menyamaratakan asumsi terhadap seluruh pembaca tulisan ini bahwa mereka memiliki tingkat pengetahuan yang (setidaknya) sama dengan saya atas tragedi 1965. Jadi, begini, Kawanku sesama orang Indonesia yang saya hormati, kita semua yang telah menempuh pendidikan dasar hingga menengah di institusi pendidikan dalam negeri pasti sudah tahu sejarah Gerakan 30 September 1965 dari buku pelajaran Sejarah. Dan kita mungkin ingat bagaimana PKI digambarkan dalam buku Sejarah tersebut (bahwa mereka adalah pengkhianat, musuh bangsa, bla bla bla...). Dan kita juga mungkin ingat bagaimana pada masa Orde Baru dulu, film G30S/PKI selalu diputar di televisi setiap tanggal 30 September. (Bahkan bagi generasi yang lebih tua dari saya, mereka diwajibkan (baca: dipaksa) untuk menonton film tersebut oleh sekolah-sekolah.) Yang tidak semua dari kita ketahui atau sadari adalah: ada bagian dari sejarah yang dengan sengaja tidak ditampilkan dalam buku teks Sejarah formal tersebut.

Seperti telah saya singgung di atas, peristiwa 30 September adalah bagian kecil dari serangkaian rentetan peristiwa yang panjang dari tragedi berdarah bangsa ini. Selayaknya, kita mempelajari Sejarah secara kontekstual sekaligus holistik. Yang tidak dituliskan oleh para ‘pemenang’ (baca: penguasa) dalam buku teks Sejarah kita adalah bagaimana orang-orang (mungkin ratusan ribu atau bahkan jutaan, belum ada angka yang pasti karena data ini sengaja ditutupi atau bahkan mungkin dihapus oleh rezim penguasa pada saat itu) dibantai, dipenjara tanpa pengadilan, diculik, dihilangkan dari catatan sejarah, dan dilanggar hak-hak asasi manusianya, atas nama komunis dan PKI. Mengapa buku teks Sejarah meninggalkan cerita ini? Karena setiap narasi membutuhkan ‘musuh bersama’. Setiap narasi membutuhkan ‘kambing hitam’. Pada tataran ini, komunis dan PKI-lah yang dengan sengaja dijadikan musuh bersama dan kambing hitam oleh rezim penguasa, demi ‘mem-pahlawan-kan’ diri mereka sendiri, juga demi melanggengkan kuasa mereka. Dan bayaran atas itu semua adalah: sejarah dibungkam, dan HAM diperkosa secara beramai-ramai.

Sampai di sini, mungkin Anda berpikir: “wah, mbaknya komunis!” atau “mbaknya atheis!” Haha! Sabar dulu ya, Kawanku yang saya hormati. Secara psikologis itu wajar, karena marah atau rasa tidak terima dan sikap defensif adalah reaksi pertama seseorang ketika dihadapkan pada realita atau kejujuran yang bertolak belakang dengan apa yang selama ini dipercayainya. Kembali lagi, Sejarah harus dipelajari secara kontekstual sekaligus holistik. Komunis dan PKI tidak serta-merta muncul sebagai kambing hitam. Ada rangkaian sejarah yang kemudian membawa mereka hingga pada titik tersebut: terpecahnya kubu menjadi sayap kanan dan sayap kiri semasa Orde Lama, aksi-aksi anarkis yang dilakukan oleh simpatisan PKI, hingga perseteruan antara pihak militer dan komunis-sosialis pada masa itu. Yang ingin saya tekankan pada tulisan ini adalah: bukan ideologi komunismenya lagi yang patut dibahas, melainkan sisi humanis bangsa ini. Ya, ini adalah soal kemanusiaan.

Bagaimana maksudnya bahwa ini adalah persoalan kemanusiaan? Pasca tragedi 1965 di mana orang-orang (baik yang dianggap maupun benar-benar) komunis, PKI, serta afiliasinya, dibantai, dipenjara tanpa pengadilan, diculik, dihilangkan dari catatan sejarah, dan dilanggar hak-hak asasi manusianya, mereka yang selamat atau masih hidup (selanjutnya disebut “penyintas”) masih mendapatkan stigma ketika kembali ke dalam masyarakat. Mirisnya, bahkan, anak-anak hingga cucu-cucu mereka sampai saat ini masih mendapatkan stigma itu. Dan pelanggengan isu bahaya laten komunis dan PKI tidak diniatkan untuk membantu dalam upaya pengungkapan sejarah yang dihilangkan, bahkan dalam upaya pengembalian HAM kepada mereka yang berhak mendapatkannya. Yang ada, pelanggengan isu tersebut semakin melekatkan stigma terhadap para penyintas. Dan tentunya, pelanggengan isu tersebut menyebabkan generasi muda bangsa ini mengalami kesulitan untuk terbebas dari jerat konstruksi sejarah yang telah dimapankan oleh rezim ‘pemenang’.

Saya jadi bertanya-tanya: sebenarnya yang memiliki bahaya laten itu komunis atau Orde Baru sih? Komunisme sudah tidak ada lagi (melihat kapitalisme sebagai antitesis komunisme yang sudah bercokol kuat dalam sendi-sendi masyarakat). PKI sudah dibubarkan, dilarang, dan diberangus orang-orangnya. Namun, lihat propaganda hasil bentukan rezim Orde Baru. Ia masih mengakar kuat dan menjulang tinggi dalam masyarakat Indonesia. Dan bagi saya itu menyedihkan. Bagi saya itu menyaratkan bahwa Reformasi belum tuntas dan Revolusi belum selesai. Bangsa ini masih perlu membenahi mentalnya. Tidak mudah, tentu saja, sebagai hasil dari cengkeraman rezim yang telah mengerdilkan mental bangsa ini selama lebih dari tiga dekade. Residu dari rezim tersebut masih jelas terasa. Dan pelanggengan isu bahaya laten komunis dan PKI hanyalah salah satunya.

Tahu mengapa saya merasa sangat sedih atas itu semua? Salah satu bahaya laten Orde Baru yang dikonstruksikan melalui propagandanya selama tiga dekade adalah: rezim tersebut telah menancapkan keyakinan pada masyarakat yang menyebabkan matinya rasa kemanusiaan. Sebagai ilustrasi, berikut ini saya kutip beberapa kalimat dari buku “Dalih Pembunuhan Massal” karya John Roosa:

“Tragedi sejarah Indonesia modern tidak hanya terletak pada pembunuhan massal 1965-66 yang diorganisasi Angkatan Darat saja, tapi juga pada bertakhtanya para pembunuh, yang memandang pembunuhan massal dan operasi-operasi perang urat syaraf sebagai cara-cara sah dan wajar dalam mengelola tata pemerintahan. Sebuah rezim yang mengabsahkan dirinya dengan mengacu kepada sebuah kuburan massal di Lubang Buaya dan bersumpah “peristiwa sematjam ini tidak terulang lagi” (seperti tertera di Monumen Pancasila Sakti) mewariskan kuburan massal tak terbilang dari satu ujung tanah air ke ujung lainnya, dari Aceh di tepi barat sampai Papua di tepi timur. Pendudukan Timor Leste dari 1975 sampai 1999 telah meninggalkan puluhan ribu, jika bukan ratusan ribu, korban mati, kebanyakan terkubur tanpa nama.

“Setiap kuburan massal di Nusantara menandai pelaksanaan kekuasaan negara yang sewenang-wenang, tidak terbuka, dan rahasia, serta mencemooh budaya politik era-Suharto: hanya orang-orang sipil yang melakukan kekejaman dan hanya tentara yang menjaga kesatuan negeri ini. Pengeramatan peristiwa yang relatif kecil (G30S) dan penghapusan peristiwa bersejarah tingkat dunia (pembunuhan massal 1965-66) telah menghalangi empati terhadap korban, seperti keluarga para perempuan dan laki-laki yang hilang. Sementara berdiri sebuah monumen di dekat sumur, tempat tentara G30S membuang jasad tujuh perwira Angkatan Darat pada 1 Oktober 1965, tidak ada satu monumen pun menandai kuburan-kuburan massal yang menyimpan ratusan ribu orang yang telah dibunuh atas nama penumpasan G30S.”

Ya, seperti yang pernah diungkapkan Max Lane (lihat “73 Tahun dalam Belenggu Kemerdekaan Semu”), kehebatan sekaligus kebrutalan propaganda rezim Orde Baru terletak pada kemampuannya untuk meniadakan rasa kemanusiaan dalam diri manusia Indonesia; bahwa mereka (baik yang dianggap maupun benar-benar) komunis dan PKI adalah bukan manusia Indonesia, maka layak untuk dibunuh, bahkan, keluarga dan keturunan mereka pun layak untuk diperlakukan tidak manusiawi.

Sekarang sudah abad ke-21, dan sudah lebih dari setengah abad berlalu sejak peristiwa 1965. Menurut saya, sudah saatnya Indonesia menemukan kemanusiaannya kembali. Sudah saatnya Indonesia bangkit dari kungkungan propaganda rezim yang telah kita jatuhkan bersama dua dekade yang lalu. Sudah saatnya kita berpikir progresif dan humanis, dan membebaskan diri dari belenggu dogma-dogma yang ditanamkan pada kita selama masa Orde Baru. Sudah saatnya kita benar-benar merdeka dari hegemoni narasi dan reproduksi ketakutan yang terus dilanggengkan dan dimapankan oleh penguasa. Oleh karena itu, setiap penghujung bulan September, seharusnya bukan lagi isu bahaya laten komunis dan PKI yang kita perdebatkan, namun isu kemanusiaan.



Epilog

Mas Iqbal Aji Daryono pernah berkata, bahwa generasi muda zaman now, memiliki kecenderungan untuk sulit menerima pendapat orang-orang yang berseberangan dengan mereka. Umumnya, mereka justru akan bersikap defensif ketika menemukan pendapat yang bertolak belakang dengan keyakinan mereka. Sehingga, sikap tersebut mematikan daya kritis dan menutup ruang diskusi. Dan itu semua, salah satunya, disebabkan oleh polarisasi media digital; di mana mereka hanya mengakses informasi seputar apa yang mereka mau dan senangi saja, sehingga wacana mereka tidak berkembang, dan mereka mengalami kesulitan untuk melihat fenomena melalui berbagai sisi. Membaca tulisan saya, mungkin mereka yang berhaluan progresif ala-ala dan mendukung rekonsiliasi akan bertepuk tangan dan mengamini. Di sisi lain, mungkin mereka yang berhaluan religius radikal dan ultranasionalis akan menghujat saya dan mengatai saya komunis atau atheis. Bagi saya itu lucu. Pesan saya sebagai penutup tulisan ini hanya satu: jangan terlalu mencintai sesuatu, atau kita akan buta untuk melihat kebenaran lain di luar sana, karena sesungguhnya tidak ada kebenaran yang tunggal dan universal. Cari informasi sebanyak-banyaknya, melalui perspektif seluas-luasnya. Lagipula, apabila Anda beragama Islam, ingat kan ayat pertama yang turun ke dunia? Ya, Iqro’. Bacalah. Membacalah. Ayo membaca, Kawan. Membaca sebanyak-banyaknya, seluas-luasnya, dari perspekif seberagam-ragamnya. Terakhir, mari kita bersama-sama mendoakan saudara-saudara kita yang sedang ditimpa musibah di Palu, Donggala, dan sekitarnya. Semoga mereka semua diberi kekuatan. Amin.
Wrote by Mashita Fandia


“I hope you’ll always recognize me, regardless of how I might change. Then I promise that I’ll cherish and love you.” –Kim Min Kyu (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



“Some moments become beautiful memories that will never come again. I was curious. Why was I allowed to retain so many painful memories? The beautiful memories of the day that was so perfect. What did it all mean? Memories. Recollections. To me, they became a punishment.” –Kim Min Kyu (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



“I don’t smile in front of others. I want to seem intimidating so that they don’t mistreat me.” –Kim Min Kyu (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



“When evening came, I willed it to become morning, that morning would come faster. I loved having someone who would listen to me. Knowing that someone watched over me and remembered me... excited me every day.” –Kim Min Kyu (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



“Hey, why would you stay friends with a jerk who gives you a hard time? You can always make new friends. That’s what my Dad said to me when I got hurt by a mean friend. He said we need to learn how to say goodbye to old friends and meet new ones just like how the river flows.” –Jo Ji Ah (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



Some people say that there is no illness that cannot be cured by love. Is it true? Is love really be able to cure any kind of illness? What about “lies” then? Is there really any white lie? Does there really any lie that mean good for other people? If the reason was for goodness, is it okay to lie then? My mind is always torn whenever it comes to a matter about “lying”. On one side, I know that some lies can mean for good things. On the other side, I think that no matter how good a lie is, an honesty is still so much better no matter how bad it is. But when someone’s life is on the line, will we be able to lie? Will we be able to tell honesty when someone’s life is on the line? If it means that a person might die when we tell the truth, will we be able to be honest? If it means that a person might die when the lies are unraveled, will we be able to keep lying? When there seems no better choice whether to lie or to be honest, what will we choose then? In South Korean drama series titled “I’m Not a Robot”, our morality will be torn between lying and telling honesty. When love is the truth, will we be able to tell it even if someone’s life is on the line?


"I'm Not a Robot" official series poster | source: asianwiki.com



Title                             : I’m Not a Robot/I Am Not a Robot/She’s Not a Robot?!
Genre                           : romantic comedy, science fiction
Starring                         : Yoo Seung Ho, Chae Soo Bin, Uhm Ki Joon
Channel                         : MBC
No. of episodes              : 32
Original broadcast         : December 2017 – January 2018



Broadcasted by MBC television network, “I’m Not a Robot” is a Korean romance comedy drama series of 32 episodes, airing during the winter season from December 2017 to January 2018. The story revolves around Kim Min Kyu (portrayed by Yoo Seung Ho), an orphan chaebol (a son of a very rich businessman family) who developed a strange illness since the death of his parents 15 years ago. Since then, his illness has made him have an allergic every time he has a physical contact with another human being. Hence, because of his “human allergy”, he has been living his life in isolation and avoiding physical contact with another human being. Until one day, a humanoid robot is delivered to him by a robotic team who are working under one of his company’s subsidiaries. The robot is called Aji 3. However, for his lacks of interaction with another human being, Min Kyu innocently doesn’t realize that the Aji 3 sent to his house is actually a human being named Jo Ji Ah (portrayed by Chae Soo Bin), who actually is the character model for the real Aji 3.

It is Hong Baek Kyun (portrayed by Uhm Ki Joon), the man behind this entire situation. He is the leader of robotic team, Santa Maria, who is desperately wanted his invention to be noticed, since the years of hard work of his team is on the line. Moreover, they keep receiving notice from the company that his team will be disbanded and the office will be taken away because there seems to be no progress in his work. After Min Kyu sees Aji 3 for the first time and being impressed by it, an accident unfortunately takes place that makes Aji 3 malfunction. Hence, he hires his ex-girlfriend, Ji Ah, whose appearance he uses as Aji 3’s physical looks, to act as a robot in front of Min Kyu just until his team fixes Aji 3. Meanwhile, Ji Ah takes the offer because she’s in a great need for money. However, Ji Ah and the team then discover Min Kyu’s illness; and they take all the risk in order to help Min Kyu to be healed from his illness, because he slowly gets better in interacting with other people ever since Aji 3/Ji Ah came in his life. But, just for how long they’re able to lie to Min Kyu? And what might happen to Min Kyu when he finally figures out that Aji 3 he has known all this time is actually a human being named Ji Ah?


source: MBC

I ponder about many things when I watched this drama series. First of all is about post traumatic stress disorder. I guess what happened to Kim Min Kyu in this drama series was all started because of the traumatic incident he had when he was just a kid. At a very young age, he had to send his parents away in a tragic car accident. Moreover, he then realized at his parents’ funeral that people around him were only being nice to him because he was an heir to a very big and successful company in South Korea. In other words, people only saw him for his money and inheritance. And that’s what triggered the “human allergy”. He lost trust towards people. Moreover, he lost trust towards himself; that he was not able to build a sincere friendship with anyone because people were blinded by his wealth instead of getting to know who he really was. Though he might appear tough and bold, he was actually very fragile in the inside, because he was actually longing for a real and true friendship with another human being. He was heartbroken and lonely.

I have to agree with Ye Ri El’s (she is portrayed by Hwang Seung Eon) statement in this drama series, that the more we interact with other people, the more we are able to get to know ourselves better. For 15 years, Kim Min Kyu didn’t really interact with other people. And we need to remember that those 15 years he spent in isolation were actually important years for self-development as teenager and young-adult. However, he spent it without going out and socializing with people around his age. He didn’t know how to make friends. He didn’t know how to solve his unfinished rage and grudge towards his childhood friend, Hwang Yoo Chul (portrayed by Kang Ki Young). He didn’t even know how to open up his self to other people. Hence, he didn’t really know his self that well. Aji 3 (who was actually Ji Ah who pretended to be a robot) was his first “friend” in 15 years. His relationship with Aji 3 was the thing that opened up his mind. The relationship taught him everything he needs to know about building a friendship. The relationship had made him know himself better than before; things he wasn’t able to understand before. Hence, it meant a lot for him.


source: MBC

Is there really any lie that could bring happiness? Jo Ji Ah said that she could be happy if Kim Min Gyu was happy, even if it means that she would not be able to tell the truth that she was not a robot. However, later on we could see that eventually, a lie can never bring happiness. It’s all just a pseudo-happiness; an illusion of happiness that is just temporary. It all will end when the lie is unraveled. And all that is left is sadness when it’s all finally happening. The truth, no matter how hard it is to be accepted, no matter how hurtful it is, no matter how deep the pain it will leave is apparently so much better than the most beautiful lie. Ones can get through the pain from hurtful truth, even though it’s not easy at all. However, it’s harder to heal from the pain of betrayal caused by a lie. Though some people say that they rather are lied to than being told the truth, actually it’s all just a bluff. Still, being recovered from an unraveled lie is so much harder than being recovered from painful truth. In the end, telling honesty is all what it takes.

I guess I understand Kim Min Kyu’s feeling when he finally realized that Jo Ji Ah was lying to him. Even though he was glad (and relieved) for the fact that he was indeed falling in love with a human being instead of a humanoid robot (at least it was a proof that he was not insane eventually), he was hurting because his pride was violated. He felt like he was being played. Indeed, being in love is humiliating, since we become vulnerable and we constantly bare our all in front of the person we love. And the fact that the action was not reciprocal is what actually hurting the most. That’s why Min Kyu said that Ji Ah should have told the truth when he confessed his love while still knowing her as a robot; that she should have told him then that she was actually a human being. Hence, when Ji Ah finally confessed that she loved him not because he needs her, but because she needs him instead, that’s when Min Kyu could finally accept her honesty. For by that confession, Min Kyu was rest assured that his feeling was actually not unrequited. And that was how he could deal with his pain of being lied to, because eventually, Ji Ah told the honesty, and his resentment was resolved.


source: MBC

I started watching “I’m Not a Robot” because of one and only Yoo Seung Ho. This is his first drama series that I watched after he finished serving his military duty. And, this is his first romance comedy drama series. Hence, I was excited. However, sadly this drama series apparently was not doing so well in terms of rating. And somehow I can quite understand why. “I’m Not a Robot” was lacking something for a romance comedy, though it’s clearly not in the acting of the actors. Yoo Seung Ho and Chae Soo Bin make a very lovely couple in here. They are lookalike! I rarely be able to like female actors who were paired with Yoo in his previous drama series, but his chemistry with Chae Soo Bin was too hard to resist. And yes, though the plot and storyline might be lacking something, it was all worth it for the sole of Yoo’s appearance in this drama series. Therefore, I recommend “I’m Not a Robot” for all Yoo’s fans across the universe. He’s super gorgeous in here! And his acting is unquestionable. It is top notch! Oh, pardon me for fangirling. (But I just cannot help it!)





“A relationship is planting roots in someone’s heart.” –Kim Min Kyu (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



“One person is enough to hold someone from leaving.” –Jo Ji Ah (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



“I’m not the one who heals you. Deep inside your heart, you have the longing for someone special to heal you. That’s what actually heals you.” –Jo Ji Ah (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



“The person whom I want to give me love, it’s you. The person whom I miss every single day, it’s also you. It’s not because that you need me. It’s because that it’s me who really need you. It’s because you’re the only person in my life, whom I always look and wait for all this time. I love you.” –Jo Ji Ah (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)



“Every single time that I spend with you makes me happy.” –Jo Ji Ah (I’m Not a Robot, 2017-2018)
Wrote by Mashita Fandia


“She just popped into my head like a memory.” –Park Do Kyung (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



“I’m a strong woman who doesn’t get hurt over these matters. I gritted my teeth and told myself that every day.” –Oh Hae Young (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



“If I completely lose myself and become her, if such a chance comes, would I choose the option to be her? It turns out that I wouldn’t. I only wanted to improve myself a little bit. I didn’t want to be her. I still love myself the way I am. I only want myself to do well.” –Oh Hae Young (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



“Rather than saying it was no big deal, rather than saying I will be okay, it was more comforting that there was someone else with the same pain.” –Oh Hae Young (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



“You just got knocked down by one punch. You can take a break and get back up.” –Park Do Kyung (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



At times, universe has the funniest unpredicted scenario for us; a scenario that we can never imagine could happen in our moderate life. But yes, no matter how ordinary we are, we have to have the faith that we are all the main character in our life. And yes, no matter how lacking we feel, we need to have the confidence that we are all the main character in our own life. Though sometimes life puts you in the situation that makes you feel like the second lead or supporting character, or worse, a cameo, of someone else’s life, don’t get discouraged. This one life is yours and yours only. We want to be a main character and we are the main character, indeed. Though there are people out there who have the same name as us, though we are always getting compared to them, though other people always seem to try to put us down, there is only one of every of us in this world. There is no other us and that makes us special. Hence, chin up like what Oh Hae Young does in this drama series titled “Another Oh Hae Young”. There might be many girls named Oh Hae Young, but each is different. And each is special in our own way.


"Another Oh Hae Young" official series poster | source: asianwiki.com


Title                          : Another Miss Oh/Another Oh Hae Young/Oh Hae Young Again 
Genre                        : romantic comedy, drama, fantasy
Starring                     : Seo Hyun Jin, Eric Mun, Jeon Hye Bin, Kim Ji Suk
Channel                     : tvN
No. of episodes          : 18
Original broadcast      : May – June 2016



“Another Oh Hae Young”, or also known as “Another Miss Oh”, is a Korean drama series broadcasted by tvN cable television network during May to June 2016. Just like the title, the stotyline revolves around a woman named Oh Hae Young (portrayed by Seo Hyun Jin). A day before her wedding, she suddenly announced that she canceled her wedding. This announcement enraged her family as the result. However, it turned out to be a bluff since the one who actually canceled the wedding was her fiance, Han Tae Jin (portrayed by Lee Jae Yoon), though Hae Young remained silent about that and went along with the scenario that she was the one who canceled the wedding in order to keep her pride. It was later revealed that people who ruined their wedding were Park Do Kyung (portrayed by Eric Mun) and his bestfriend, Lee Jin Sang (portrayed by Kim Ji Suk). One year ago, Do Kyung was engaged to Oh Hae Young (portrayed by Jeon Hye Bin), but she didn’t appear on their wedding day and he ended up being stood up. When Ji Sang heard that Hae Young was going to get marry to Tae Jin, he mistook her as the same Hae Young that betrayed Do Kyung.

Not knowing that it was different Hae Young, Do Kyung put a scheme in order to ruin their wedding, which led to Tae Jin canceling the wedding. Apparently, those two Hae Youngs were classmates in highschool; one was known as the pretty Hae Young (the one portrayed by Jeon Hye Bin) while the other was known as just ordinary Hae Young (the one portrayed by Seo Hyun Jin). A month after ordinary Hae Young and Tae Jin’s wedding was canceled; Do Kyung found out that it was a different Hae Young whose wedding he ruined. Strangely, before meeting the ordinary Hae Young, he kept getting visions regarding to that woman. He even began to see a psychiatrist in order to find out what’s really happening with his self. At first, he was suggested that it might be a guilt that had made him having those visions. Hence, Do Kyung tried his best to make up for his mistake. Not knowing all of this, the ordinary Hae Young began to fall in love with Do Kyung. However, things turned complicated when the pretty Hae Young came to get back again with Do Kyung. Moreover, Tae Jin was also coming back to get his revenge at Do Kyung for ruining his life.


source: tvN

Watching “Another Oh Hae Young” makes me reflect on many things. One of those many things, I remember what pretty Oh Hae Young said in the drama series: “People are remembered by their last sentiment.” Indeed, relationship can turn ugly once we make a wrong choice or decision. Watching this series has made me realize that one of the things I fear the most is becoming the person who is remembered as someone who left only pain and agony by the one whom I hold most dear. It’s important that we should resolve our feelings before we can move on. And in order to do that, we have to be honest. I, out of all people, know it all too well how hard it is to be fully honest towards the one we hold most dear; like what pretty Oh Hae Young does in the series. However, if honesty is all that it takes in order to make things right, then I will try hard to confess and speak honestly ad truthfully even though I have to swallow my pride in the process. However, some people just open naturally when it comes to the right person; like what ordinary Oh Hae Young does towards Park Do Kyung. She opens up naturally because it is Park Do Kyung, not somebody else.

Dejection and guilt are one of the most dreadful things in this life. Because of the dejected and guilty feeling, some people live the rest of their life thinking that they don’t deserve to be happy. They think that they are not good enough. They fear of happiness itself. And this is what happens to both ordinary Oh Hae Young and Park Do Kyung in the beginning of this series. Because of their experience in the past, they both are afraid to be happy. The difference is that Hae Young realizes it and Do Kyung doesn’t. Hence she tries her best to convince Do Kyung that they both deserve to be happy. I particularly note the remark than Han Tae Jin said when he left Hae Young. Even if it was meant to hurt people, we should be careful of what we say, of what kind of words we choose to hurt them, because it might be a scar that will remain forever in their heart. Just because we’re meant to hurt, it doesn’t mean that we can say anything we want. For the person we are talking too –no matter how bad they are– is also human. They have feelings. And it all comes back to the honesty. Rather than hurtful lies, I personally prefer the hurtful truth; since it hurts anyway, it’s better to know the truth and live through it rather than struggling with lies.


source: tvN

The next important thing that I would like to highlight from “Another Oh Hae Young” is the comparation between the ordinary Oh Hae Young and the pretty Oh Hae Young. I feel incredibly sad as well as related to this matter. I, out of all people, know it all too well about being compared to other people. It’s one of the worst feelings ever. I know exactly how it feels. It feels awful. And no matter how long time has passed or how many times people have tried to console me, the pain can never really disappear. Once we are being compared to someone else, particularly by the person whom we hold most dear, we can never see and feel things the same way again. We will always, whether consciously or unconsciously, automatically comparing our own self to someone else whenever similar situation occurs. It will become our self mechanism. And it’s slowly killing our character in a painful way. We become overly cautious. We become less and less confident about ourselves. The worst thing is: we feel we don’t deserve to be loved because someone else is always better than us. That’s why, no matter how hard the situation is, please don’t compare your partner to someone else, because it will forever leave a scar in their soul.

I personally am deeply touched with the relationship between ordinary Oh Hae Young and her mother. It reminds me so much to my relationship with my mother. They fight a lot, her mother scolds her a lot too, but that is just the expression of deep affection between them. And eventually, though most of the time they disagree about many things, eventually in the end, her mother always takes her side and stands beside her. She supports her daughter all the way she can. And for me, that is the most beautiful thing that a mother can do for her daughter. She cannot guarantee that her daughter will live rightfully according to the social norms, but as long as her daughter is happy, all that she can do is giving all the supports she’s able to in order to make it happen. As for the ordinary Hae Young and Park Do Kyung couple, they were both broken people. And Hae Young’s spirit has awakened Do Kyung’s willingness to face his fears. She convinces him that they deserve to be happy, and that they shouldn’t be afraid of being happy just because they’ve been hurt once by a person who was meant the world to them. And for me, that is what true love is. It is the bravery to take on the challenge; it is the strength to face our most fear.


source: tvN

Besides the main couple in this drama series (ordinary Oh Hae Young and Park Do Kyung), I also have to note that I love the supporting character couples, Lee Jin Sang and Park Soo Kyung (portrayed by Ye Ji Won) couple, and also Park Hoon (portrayed by Heo Jung Min) and Anna (portrayed by Heo Young Ji) couple. Hoon and Anna are surely the scene-stealers couple in this drama series with their lovey-dovey yet comical arc. On the other hand, Jin Sang and Soo Kyung couple serves a more mature side of relationship. From this couple, we can see how much the patriarchal system has affected people in Eastern countries such as South Korea; and not only the women, but also the men. I’m appalled by Soo Kyung’s maturity in dealing with problems regarding to Jin Sang. She doesn’t want to burden him, so instead, she tries her best to bring out the best in Jin Sang, not for the sake of her own self, but the for the sake of Jin Sang; and for me, that is what true love is. True love is not strangling. True love is setting us free. And this is what finally touches Jin Sang’s heart and makes him realizes that Soo Kyung is the best woman for him; the one that motivates him to stop playing with other women and start to settle and make commitment in his romance relationship.

Lastly, this drama series has shown me how lonely people meet, gather, and fall in love. We never know where we’re going to find love. Sometimes, we found love at the most unpredictable place. I’m reminded once again about this by the couples in this drama series. Liking someone is indeed humiliating that it drives us crazy. It’s embarrassing to open up ourselves and let them know all things up our sleeves that even our closest friend or family doesn’t know. But that is relationship; it means you trust that person enough to let them come into your room of secrets. And when you do, it means you love that person that much to trust them. I remember what Lee Jin Sang said in this series: “You know how some men are. They’d rather be bad guys than incompetent guys.” However, when you really love, it means that you’re willing to be vulnerable enough in front of the person you claim to love. When you choose to be a bad guy then I can say that it’s simply not love. Love means you’re willing to lose your pride over love; and this applies to both men and women. It doesn’t mean that you lose yourself; it’s just that you’re willing to negotiate your ego to find the middle way.


 
source: tvN


Though I knew it before that this drama series gained high ratings, I didn’t have much expectation when I started watching it. However, “Another Oh Hae Young” had successfully exceeded any expectation that I might have. It satisfied me in every sense. I was laughing so hard since the first episode because of the comedy. And I was crying like a baby during the sad scenes. And along the way, I was just able to figure out why “Another Oh Hae Young” succeeds in gaining high ratings and a lot of public’s attention. Yes, this drama series is just a whole package of entertainment! The plot is well-built. The characters are strongly depicted; not only the main but also the supporting ones. The soundtracks are whether lively or melancholic –according to the atmosphere– and are well-suited with the drama storyline. Some of the scenes even still remain in memories until now; that’s just how memorable and how impactful this drama series has left some imprints in my heart. Perhaps, because in some way to some extent, I feel related to the ordinary Oh Hae Young. This story just resonates within my life. Moreover, I love how the director gave some rooms toward the actors to improvise their acting on some scenes. It’s beyond hilarious. As surreal as it is, it still feels real and rational and it could be happening in anyone’s life. Some dialogues are just so realistic; they speak our feelings. “Another Oh Hae Young” is super recommended to watch, like, seriously, it cannot be missed. You have to watch it.






“In the vision I saw this time, that woman is running towards me. She embraces me after that. But what if I don’t hold onto her at this moment? Would I be able to cut her out of my life? Even if I avoid her as best as I could, it feels like I won’t ultimately be able to cut her off. It feels like that woman keeps on unraveling me. It’s like she’s telling me, ‘Stop being miserable and let’s be happy together’.” –Park Do Kyung (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



“When I think about it, I’ve never really given myself to love one hundred percent. I was always cautious and nervous. I worried if I liked the person more. Let’s not do that anymore. If I meet someone I like, I will love the man all the way until I get dumped. I will never turn around crying because I was yelled at to get lost. I will hold onto the man and not let go even if I get beaten up. I will give it everything. Should you fall in such love once in your lifetime?” –Oh Hae Young (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



“Being in love is so much more fun than eating. And it makes you a million times happier. You’re happy even when you starve. People who are in love don’t go crazy over delicious dishes. They don’t fuss over bad ones either. Because they are already happy enough.” –Oh Hae Young (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



“I don’t care if I die, but I won’t die with regret. I will never die with regret. I will go all the way to where my heart takes me.” –Park Do Kyung (Another Miss Oh, 2016)



“Once you acknowledge that things are transient, you don’t waste your energy on useless things.” –Park Do Kyung’s father (Another Miss Oh, 2016)
Wrote by Mashita Fandia


I want to make the home in you
   The home where we could rest our heads on after a long tiring day
   The home where we could laugh our bad episodes off
   The home where we could lean on after endless hard work
I want to make the home in you
   The home to come back to after the burdensome day at the office
   The home to find solace from the harsh and cold world outside
   The home to escape from the strangling social demands
I want to make the home in you
   The home to make serenity
   The home to make sobriety
   The home to make hilarity
   Just the two of us
I want to make the home in you
   Though I know I’m still lacking
   Though we may meet some down times
   Though the path might be rough and windy 
   Oh yes I still do want to make the home in you 
I want to make the home in you
   And I hope you want the same way too
I want to make the home in you
   So would you let me do?
Because just anywhere won’t do
   Because it has to be you
   And I want to make the home in you

M.F
Wrote by Mashita Fandia


I thought I’d never knew what happiness is,
          But then I look into your smile and the sound of our laughter on a bright fine day.
I thought I’d never knew what serenity is,
          But then I hold you in my arms and feel the warmth of your heartbeat.
I thought I’d never knew what love is,
          But then I stay with you... and I feel whole, blessed, at home.

M.F
Wrote by Mashita Fandia


I might be not the most attractive in flirting with you,
                But I definitely know how to caress you.
I might be not the bravest in chasing you,
                But I definitely know how to wait for you.
I might be not the best in speaking up my feelings for you,
                But I definitely know how to pray for you.
I might be not the greatest in giving suggestion,
                But I definitely know how to listen to you.
I might be not the cutest in making jokes,
                But I definitely know how to make you smile.
I might be not the happy-go-lucky kind of person,
                But I definitely know how to soothe and content you.
I might be not the craziest who’s willing to die for you,
                But I definitely know how to live with you.
I might be not the most brilliant to lead you,
                But I definitely know how to walk together side by side with you.
I might not know what tomorrow brings,
And I can’t promise you anything,
                But I’m definitely able to try every effort,
                And as long as I can,
                Our dreams are my priority.
So will you take my hand,
                And walk with me for this lifetime and after?

M.F

Wrote by Mashita Fandia
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