Not Gonna Wait



In this life, there is someone to somebody whom they are drowning into. In this life, there is someone to somebody whom they won’t pull through without them by their side. In this life, there is someone to somebody whom they keep their all to have just one more night with them. That is someone who is significant, someone precious, someone irreplaceable; someone who feels like a home. At some point in our life, we got to be separated from that person. At some point in our life, the course of universe takes us to the route where we have to be apart from that person. At some point in our life, the road intersection leads to choose to go separate ways from that person. However, no matter far apart, we long for that home. No matter how long, we are looking forward to come back to that home. No matter how many stopover places we stop by, we move on to continue our journey to that home. Days feel longer and nights feel colder for every time we spent apart from that person. And at times, waiting is the hardest thing to do.

“Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, I’ll go to you a little closer. Come into my arms just for a moment, even if it’s in my dreams, stay with me.” –Parc Jae Jung, Not Gonna Wait

This song is still coming from the original soundtrack of Korean drama series, “Live Up to Your Name, Doctor Heo”. This pop track is titled “Not Gonna Wait”, performed by Parc Jae Jung and written by 12 Months 32 Days; with Taebongi and Lee Sang Wook composed and arranged this song. It was released as a “Live Up to Your Name OST Part 4” single on September 17th 2017. Lyrically, “Not Gonna Wait” depicts the feeling of the titular character, Heo Im (portrayed by Kim Nam Gil) who was missing his love interest, Choi Yeon Kyung (portrayed by Kim Ah Joong), a doctor whom he met in the modern day of Seoul when he accidentally did the time travel from Joseon era. At times when he was back in Joseon, he could not help but longing for Yeon Kyung, as time and distance separated them. Hence, in the end, he just couldn’t wait and made himself travel back to the future just to see, meet, stay, and live together with her.


"Live Up to Your Name OST Part 4" single cover | source: wiki.d-addicts.com

Through the ups and downs in life, some people come at the moment where they finally meet that one particular home-like person for them. Some of them meet that person at the most unexpected time of their life, while some others have been waiting for a moment like that their whole life. And when they do, they cannot wait to start their life together with that person. And no matter how hard they try, they just cannot hide the fact that they cannot wait. “I’ve been waiting for a long time, for this moment where I meet you. I’ve tried to hide it, but I’m already looking at you. I cannot take it, I’m not gonna wait.” However, some people got to be separated from that one particular home-like person; not because they want to, but because they have to; not because another person, but because they have obligation to do. And when they do, waiting for the moment where they can meet again is the hardest part. “From some point, my memories are colored with you only. The more I try to turn around, the clearer you get in my mind. I cannot take it, I’m not gonna wait.”
Waiting is the hardest part, because we keep missing that one particular home-like person though we cannot have them by our side right at the moment. Waiting is the toughest part, because we keep longing for that one particular home-like person like crazy though we cannot reach them at the moment. “I know I can’t have you, but I keep missing you.” However, the hardship of waiting itself is one thing that makes us realize that it is indeed love. The struggles of waiting are the sign that it is real, true, and sincere. It is part of the journey. And it is part of the efforts. “I know I can’t reach you, but I long for you like crazy.” Every second counts is hurting. Every minute counts is taunting. Every hour counts are haunting. Every day counts are devastating us. And every week counts is killing us. And up until one point, we just cannot wait anymore. We got to see that person no matter what. We got to meet that person. We need to be with that person. “Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, I’ll go to you a little closer. Come into my arms just for a moment, even if it’s in my dreams, stay with me.”
Even if it’s just for one day, we would be willing to throw everything away in order to be with that person. Even if it’s just for one day, we would leave anything behind in order to go to see that person. Even if it’s just for one day, we halt everything else in order to meet that person. Even if it takes so much, we would take it in order to be able to reach and hold that person in our arms. “Just for one day, lean on me and just stay like this, so I can feel you. I’ll shed tears as much as I miss you, but I’ll remember you.” In order to be able to feel that person, we would give everything up. We cry, we scream, we plea, we beg, we pray, we hope, and we shout for that moment. And even though the path is rough and dark, we would be the light that shines upon it. And even though the road is long and windy, we would go through it in order to be with that person, to stay, to feel, and to love. “Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, I’ll be a light for you, always. Come into my arms just for a moment, even though it’s just like this, stay by my side. Even if it’s in my dreams, stay with me.”


Heo Im was kissing Choi Yeon Kyung who was in tears because their separation was coming closer. He was trying to console her. | source: tvN

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? No, I’m not talking about a superficial long-distance-relationship where you just have the status of “having a relationship” without having the essence of real relationship itself. I’m not talking about the artificial long-distance-relationship where your partner can be substituted with other person easily during the time you’re apart from each other. I’m talking about the long distance relationship with someone you really love. Someone you find it hard to live without. Someone you cannot replace with anyone else. The only one you can think of as a home where you can go back to when you feel estranged from the house you used to live in. The only one you need to go to as a safe haven when the whole world is against you. The only one whose city where they live is the only place you want to go, because you want to live there with them. The only one you would be willing to give everything up in order to end the pain and suffering of only six months long distance relationship. The only one who gives you bravery to let go of all you have, because you know you have nothing else to lose but that person only. See? Love is like that. Some people may admire someone for her/his bravery to lose everything; little did they know that behind that kind of brave person, there is someone strong enough to give her/him that bravery. They may admire her/him for being brave to let everything go when she/he doesn’t have anything; little did they know that she/he actually has someone they sincerely love, and somehow, that is more than enough for her/him. Little did they know because she/he only tells thing that they want, because some people don’t deserve to know the full story, because some people only hear what they want to hear; hence they only know partially, and they won’t admit the truth.

“Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, I’ll be a light for you, always. Come into my arms just for a moment, even though it’s just like this, stay by my side.” –Parc Jae Jung, Not Gonna Wait



오랜 시간을 기다려왔어 너를 만날  순간을
(Oraen siganeul gidaryeowasseo neoreul mannal i sunganeul)
((I’ve been waiting for a long time, for this moment where I meet you))
애써 아닌척 숨기려해도 이미 너를 보고 있어
(Aesseo anincheok sumgiryeohaedo imi neoreul bogo isseo)
((I’ve tried to hide it, but I’m already looking at you))
I cannot take it, I’m not gonna wait

잡을  없단걸 알면서 자꾸만 네가 보고싶어
(Jabeul su eopsdangeol almyeonseo jakkuman nega bogosipeo)
((I know I can’t have you, but I keep missing you))

Not gonna wait, I’m not ok 다가갈게 조금  가까이
(Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, dagagalge jogeum deo gakkai)
((Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, I’ll go to you a little closer))
잠시라도 나의 품에 안겨줘 꿈에서라도 내게 머물러줘 uh huu baby
(Jamsirado naui pume angyeojwo kkumeseorado naege meomulleojwo uh huu baby)
((Come into my arms just for a moment, even if it’s in my dreams, stay with me, uh huu baby))

언제부턴가 나의 기억은  하나로 물들어가
(Eonjebuteonga naui gieogeun neo hanaro muldeureoga)
((From some point, my memories are colored with you only))
돌아서려고 하면  수록  모습만 선명해져
(Doraseoryeogo hamyeon hal surok ne moseupman seonmyeonghaejyeo)
((The more I try to turn around, the clearer you get in my mind))
I cannot take it, I’m not gonna wait

닿을  없다는  알면서 미치도록 네가 그리워
(Daheul su eopsdaneun geol almyeonseo michidorok nega geuriwo)
((I know I can’t reach you, but I long for you like crazy))

Not gonna wait, I’m not ok 다가갈게 조금  가까이
(Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, dagagalge jogeum deo gakkai)
((Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, I’ll go to you a little closer))
잠시라도 나의 품에 안겨줘 꿈에서라도 내게 머물러줘 uh huu baby
(Jamsirado naui pume angyeojwo kkumeseorado naege meomulleojwo uh huu baby)
((Come into my arms just for a moment, even if it’s in my dreams, stay with me, uh huu baby))

하루만 내게 기대 이대로 있어줘 그냥 너를 느낄  있게
(Haruman naege gidae idaero isseojwo geunyang neoreul neukkil su itge)
((Just for one day, lean on me and just stay like this, so I can feel you))
보고싶은 만큼 눈물 나겠지만 기억할게
(Bogosipeun mankeum nunmul nagetjiman gieokhalge)
((I’ll shed tears as much as I miss you, but I’ll remember you))

Not gonna wait, I’m not ok 빛이 될게 언제나 너에게
(Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, bicci doelge eonjena neoege)
((Not gonna wait, I’m not ok, I’ll be a light for you, always))
잠시라도 나의 품에 안겨줘 이렇게라도  곁에 있어줘
(Jamsirado naui pume angyeojwo ireohgerado nae gyeote isseojwo)
((Come into my arms just for a moment, even though it’s just like this, stay by my side))
꿈에서라도 내게 머물러줘 uh huu baby
(Kkumeseorado naege meomulleojwo uh huu baby)
((Even if it’s in my dreams, stay with me, uh huu baby))

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