Alone



Have you ever waken up in the middle of the cold night realizing that you’re all alone? It is when you realize that you didn’t use to be like this. It is when you realize that everything is different from the way it used to be. You used to be fine waking up all alone in the middle of the cold night, but in that particular night you just feel colder. In that particular night you just feel lonelier somehow. It is because you have known how it feels to wake up in the middle of the cold night with someone you love beside you. And when that person isn’t there, you just can feel the emptiness left by the absence of that person. You are not fine anymore for you can vividly feel the hollow. You are not fine anymore since you can clearly feel the hole in your heart as real as the empty sheets on your bed. You are not fine anymore to be alone because you have used to be with that person. It doesn’t mean that it’s something bad. It just means that you’re in love and that what you have with that person is real; as real as the emptiness you feel when you’re all alone.

“I hear the ticking of the clock, I’m lying here, the room’s pitch dark. I wonder where you are tonight, no answer on the telephone. And the night goes by so very slow, oh I hope that it won’t end though, alone.” –Heart, Alone

This song I would like to discuss this time is titled “Alone”. Originally, the song was written by Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly and it first appeared on their 1983 pet project. The version that I’m familiar with (which is the one that I was growing up with) is the one performed by American rock band, Heart. It was released on May 16th 1987 as the first single taken from the band’s ninth studio album, “Bad Animals”. The power ballad track was very successful commercially and it became Heart’s signature song even until nowadays. My favorite diva, Celine Dion, covered “Alone” for her tenth English-language studio album, “Taking Chances”. It was released as the second single taken from the album on May 5th 2008. For me personally, “Alone” is a very meaningful song. Not only it accompanies me through my growing days as a little kid, but it also remains one of my favorite classics till now. I can never get bored of this song, ever.


"Alone" single cover by Heart | source: en.wikipedia.org

When was the time you feel alone the most? Was it when you are alone literally? Or was it when you are among many people around you? Was it also the time when you feel lonely the most? For people say that being alone doesn’t mean lonely. When you are all alone, what was it that makes you feel lonely? Was it the state of being alone itself? Or was it the absence of a significant person beside you? “I hear the ticking of the clock, I’m lying here, the room’s pitch dark. I wonder where you are tonight, no answer on the telephone. And the night goes by so very slow, oh I hope that it won’t end though, alone.” What do you usually do whenever you feel lonely when you’re all alone? Can you sleep? Or do you just stay awake in the dark room with your eyes wide open? What was it that you’re thinking of when you wide awake? What was it that you’re wondering about? Are you feeling like going crazy thinking why that person doesn’t answer your phone call? Does the time feel like it’s going so slow? Believe me, I’ve been there, done that, many times.
Oh, no, they won’t understand. Believe me, they can’t understand. They can’t understand how devastating it feels, knowing that you are ignored intentionally because they spend their night with someone else. They won’t understand how painful it feels, knowing that you are being pushed away because they choose someone else as their companion. No one can and will really understand. You’re on your own. And you can only wonder through the night why you got rejected. You can only think through the night why you are left behind. “You don’t know how long I have wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight. Oh, you don’t know how long I have waited and I was going to tell you tonight. But the secret is still my own, and my love for you is still unknown, alone.” You can only feel sorry for yourself; that you are not worthy enough to be a priority in their reality. You can only feel pity towards your pathetic self; that you are not meaningful enough to be the one of their dream. And you can only keep it for yourself, perhaps for the rest of your life.
And in the middle of that tormenting session, you realize that you’ve changed; that it is not the way you used to be before. You used to be fine all alone. You used to be fine on your own. You can always get by. You can always get through. However, things are different now and you know that it is because of love. For when it comes to love, then there is always fear that comes along. It is the fear of losing. It is the fear of being left behind. It is the fear of being abandoned all alone. “Till now I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you. And now it chills me to the bone, how do I get you alone? How do I get you alone?” And yes, it is the worst feeling ever. You find yourself crying a lot more than you used to. You find yourself worrying too much more than you used to. You find yourself harder to sleep than you used to. You find the night is colder, longer, and crueler than it used to be. You find the day is more suffocating than it used to be. All is not well; as long as you don’t have that person beside you to soothe and wash away the pain.


"Alone" single cover by Celine Dion | source: en.wikipedia.org

You wish you could turn back the time to when everything was well. You wish you could turn back the time to when it had not gone wrong. Those were times when that person was here beside you through the good and the bad. Those were times when you were the priority of that person. Those were times when heart was undivided. Those were times when love was real and pure and sincere and genuine. Those were times when you were the only one whom that person wanted to spend their night with. Those were times when that person did not know the other person. Those were times when no matter how hard the situation was, you were the one whom that person would come back to in the end of the day. Those were times when that person held you through the night in their arms. Those were times when that person wiped away the tears on your face and whispered to you that everything would be just fine. Those were times when you want to go back to. Those were time when being alone was not a terrifying thing to face, for that person would always be there with you.

“Till now I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you. And now it chills me to the bone, how do I get you alone? How do I get you alone?” –Heart, Alone




I hear the ticking of the clock, I’m lying here, the room’s pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight, no answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow, oh I hope that it won’t end though, alone

Till now I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone, how do I get you alone? How do I get you alone?

You don’t know how long I have wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight
Oh, you don’t know how long I have waited and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own, and my love for you is still unknown, alone

Till now I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone, how do I get you alone? How do I get you alone?

How do I get you alone? How do I get you alone? Alone, alone

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