If This Feeling of Mine is Yours



Nobody walks on somebody else’s shoes. Hence we can never really know how it feels to be someone else. And on the other hand, other people can never really know how it feels to be us. However, we can always walk side by side. There is this thing called empathy. And even if empathy wasn’t taught at school, we were taught about it in our daily basis interaction with another human being. Empathy means the ability to understand other people’s feeling by imagining as if we were in their position. It’s so much more than just sympathy. Sadly, this is what nowadays society lacks of. We are too busy thinking about ourselves. We are too busy thinking about our own pain and without we realize, we unconsciously hurt other people while too busy taking care of our own pain. We love our ego more than we love the love itself. We do, or choose to do, some things we seem fit without considering the feeling of people around us, particularly our closest person. We never truly care about the cause and effect. And making more pain is so much easier than healing it.

“I am indeed being in love with you, and I never regret that. All of the soul I have given, holding my faithful promise. I beg for not making it as the reason for you to hurt me. Though your love isn’t just for me, but please try to understand for a moment.” –Kerispatih, If This Feeling of Mine is Yours (Bila Rasaku Ini Rasamu)

This is an Indonesian song titled “If This Feeling of Mine is Yours (Bila Rasaku Ini Rasamu)”, performed by pop band Kerispatih. The pop track was released in 2008 and served as the lead single taken from the band’s third studio album, “Tak Lekang Oleh Waktu (Unbridled by Time)”. It was written by the band’s member and songwriter, Badai. Lyrically, “If This Feeling of Mine is Yours (Bila Rasaku Ini Rasamu)” speaks about the someone’s pain and aching heart caused by the ignorance of their lover who seems to not giving a shit about what that person has been going through, and how their actions cause some pain towards that person.


"Tak Lekang Oleh Waktu" album cover | source: myspace.com

Someone once said to me that being in love means we are vulnerable towards the person whom we love. Well, I guess that is true. Being in love means we put down our walls; we are defenseless while letting that person to come into our heart and mind. Being in love means we give away our trust without even being asked for it; we are fragile while letting that person to hold our heart and soul. Being in love means we are willingly make faithful promise towards the person whom we love; we sacrifice all of our efforts without regret. And there seems to be no end of it. We give endless passion. We stand by that person through the ups and downs, through the good and the bad. We accept even the darkest and ugliest side of that person. We embrace even the worst moment. We are patiently waiting. We are patiently dealing. And we do it all out of sincerity. We do it all because of love. “I am indeed being in love with you, and I never regret that. All of the soul I have given, holding my faithful promise.”
And we never ask for more but at least the understanding; a willingness to understand our feelings, they way we feel upon things they do, and how we feel towards the choice they make. Just because we are in love and being vulnerable, it doesn’t mean that they can inflict some pain upon us as they please. Just because we give them permission to do anything, it doesn’t mean that they can do everything they want to hurt us. Just because we are always here, it doesn’t mean they can come and go as they please and leave us in the tormenting session. “I beg for not making it as the reason for you to hurt me. Though your love isn’t just for me, but please try to understand for a moment.” And being able to understand is easy to say yet very hard to do; because when we are truly willing to understand, it means that we are willing to put down our ego and not only think about our own pain. It means to not only give sympathy, but also empathy in particular. It’s not only feeling pity, but also trying to put ourselves in someone else’s position.
It’s the effort to feel what somebody else feels. It’s the attempt to know what somebody else has been going through. It’s the endeavor to accept and embrace somebody else’s situation; their limitation, lack, badness, weakness, and damage. It’s the willingness to be humble to understand that we also make mistakes, not only the other person. It’s the willingness to be humble to realize that it’s not only us who are hurting, but also the other person. It’s the willingness to be humble to understand that it’s no only us who don’t feel like being understood, but also the other person. It’s the willingness to be humble to realize that the truth is not only belong to us, but also for the other person. “If what I feel were what you feel, could you endure the pain of being betrayed by the love you keep? Please try to imagine it again, how devastated this heart be, dear. Everything has happened.” If only we try to imagine how it feels to be the other person, we could give the empathy instead of adding some pain by giving hurtful ignorance.


"Bila Rasaku Ini Rasamu" music video | source: Nagaswara Official on YouTube

It’s funny that people always say that ‘there is no hierarchy in pain’, but they end up thinking only about their own pain. They turn that sentence around just to justify that they feel more pain than the others. Hence, in the end they do not get the message that the sentence is actually telling us to have empathy towards others’ pain. Two people don’t have the same exact amount of ego. Two people don’t give out the same exact emotions toward a conflict. Two people don’t make the same exact reaction toward a happening. Two people don’t see a conflict in the same exact way. Two people don’t get to feel the same exact pain. And the pain doesn’t get to do the same exact thing towards two people. Hence there is this thing called empathy. And if it’s not there, then there’s no room for tolerance. There’s no room for chance without empathy. There’s no room for love without empathy. And what’s left is only anger. And what’s left is only emptiness. And here we are trying to sleep with a broken heart.

“If what I feel were what you feel, could you endure the pain of being betrayed by the love you keep? Please try to imagine it again, how devastated this heart be, dear. Everything has happened.” –Kerispatih, If This Feeling of Mine is Yours (Bila Rasaku Ini Rasamu)




Aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu, dan tak pernah ku sesali itu
(I am indeed being in love with you, and I never regret that)
Seluruh jiwa telah kuserahkan, menggenggam janji setiaku
(All of the soul I have given, holding my faithful promise)
Ku mohon jangan jadikan semua ini alasan kau menyakitiku
(I beg for not making it as the reason for you to hurt me)
Meskipun cintamu tak hanya untukku, tapi cobalah sejenak mengerti
(Though your love isn’t just for me, but please try to understand for a moment)

Bila rasaku ini rasamu, sanggupkah engkau menahan sakitnya terkhianati cinta yang kau jaga?
(If what I feel were what you feel, could you endure the pain of being betrayed by the love you keep?)
Coba bayangkan kembali, betapa hancurnya hati ini kasih, semua telah terjadi
(Please try to imagine it again, how devastated this heart be, dear, everything has happened)

Bila rasaku ini rasamu, sanggupkah engkau menahan sakitnya terkhianati cinta yang kau jaga?
(If what I feel were what you feel, could you endure the pain of being betrayed by the love you keep?)
Coba bayangkan kembali, betapa hancurnya hati ini kasih, semua telah terjadi
(Please try to imagine it again, how devastated this heart be, dear, everything has happened)

Aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu
(I am indeed being in love with you)

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