Error



They say that when a heart breaks, it doesn’t break even. Hence when a relationship is over, it isn’t over evenly for both sides. Though there is no hierarchy in pain and heartbreak, sometimes one person remembers just too much more than the other. Though every separation is painful and heartbreaking for everyone, sometimes one person feels just too much more than the other. Sometimes, memories linger longer for only one person and not with the other. Sometimes, pain pierces deeper for only one person and not with the other. Sometimes, the heartbreak affects more for only one person and not with the other. Sometimes, they struggle all alone in the aftermath, as they are haunted by the memories of the past. Sometimes, they are dying all alone it turns them into a state of error. Sometimes when a relationship is over, one is trapped in the illusion as the result of being denial upon the breakup, while the other is long gone and move on. Sometimes one is longing for too much more than the other while trying hard to delete all that has passed.

“I don’t want to let go of myself, I don’t want to ruin myself anymore. Memories that aren’t ending even when it’s over, I have no confidence to win over it. The thing about love is that in the end it’s just a lie to one person. Now look at me forgetting you, with your eyes wide open, don’t you ever forget me.” –VIXX, Error

This is a Korean electro-pop dance song titled “Error”, performed by boy group called VIXX. It was released on October 14th 2014 and served as the title song of the group’s second mini album of the same name. The lyrics were written by Kim Eana, with music composed by Hwang Se Jun and MELODESIGN, and arranged by Seo Jae Woo. An official accompany music video was premiered on Mnet on October 13th 2014, with a concept of cyborg (an appearance combined of human and machine), which represents a sad love story about a man changing his body to a cyborg only leaving his broken heart to protect himself from wound of love. The MV was directed by Won Ki Hong of Zanybros and starring Heo Youngji from the girl group KARA as well as VIXX’s member Hongbin as main characters. Lyrically, “Error” is a somber love song that depicts someone who is trying to delete some painful memories of a breakup by turning themselves into a heartless machine.


"Error" mini album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

The aftermath of a separation is probably one of the worst things in the world that can ever happen to us, besides the separation itself. The aftermath, for some people, is always the worst. The aftermath, for some cases, is always worse for one person than the other. It’s because when a heart breaks, it doesn’t break even. It’s because when two people are separated, the heartbroken is not even. We just want to be free and breathe easily, as we try to delete all painful memories. We know it all too well that we got to do it in order to move on, but we just can’t; we can’t do that easily. It’s just that hard for us. “I couldn’t help it, so I threw it all away. I erased all of my emotions, but I couldn’t erase you, because my heart was too sad. Let me free, let me breathe. I just need to live like this, I just need to breathe, I just need to be alive, why can’t I? Though I said it’s okay, though this is better for me. Let me free, let me breathe. I was afraid that I’d get cut by your sharp, knife-like words. I just need to breathe and eat to endure through this. I was a coward, I wanted to endure through this. I’m holding my heart in my hand, I choose a life that is for me.”
We feel numb, or some kind of numb. We try to erase it but we apparently can’t. We try to delete it but it keeps on coming back for more. We become numb and limping by the exhausting endless process. Our emotions are drained out. “My heart was limping and this is the end of the road. After making that decision and taking a breath, I let out a deep sigh. I rip her up from inside my heart. As I let out a silent scream, I’m erasing the after-images that are floating around; burning all the remaining memories up to the sky, burn.” We know it’s over, but the memories don’t seem to end as well. And we have no confidence to win. Though we are fully aware that we have to hold on and move on, we have no confidence to win over those painful memories. And it’s killing us inside by trying to forget everything. “I don’t want to let go of myself, I don’t want to ruin myself anymore. Memories that aren’t ending even when it’s over, I have no confidence to win over it. The thing about love is that in the end it’s just a lie to one person. Now look at me forgetting you, with your eyes wide open, don’t you ever forget me, don’t you ever erase me.”
We are stuck. We are trapped in between the past, the present, and the future, since it all feels painful one way or another. Though some time has passed, apparently it only takes one meeting to make us crumbling down all apart all over again. And it’s a sign that we are not healed yet. And we realize, we have nowhere to run. And we’re stuck. “I met you again, I cried, something went terribly wrong. My heart is still remembering, everything is still the same as then. Let me free, let me breathe. There’s nowhere to run from you.” We’re being denial that it’s over. We trap ourselves in the delusion from deep within. And we have no confidence to escape from this illusion. We are awake only to find ourselves bleeding more than before. We are awake only to realize all over again that it’s all just a lie. “If I hold onto you, it hurts, but if I let you go, it hurts even more. This place is deeper than a dream inside a dream; I have no confidence to escape from it. Saying that I’ll forget all of you is all a lie that remains in me. Your face spreads throughout my heart again, it hurts even more than before, I think I miss you even more, I think it’s even more dangerous.”


VIXX members as cyborg for the concept of "Error" | from left to right: Ken, Hongbin, Leo, N, Ravi, Hyuk | source: Jellyfish Entertainment

People can prepare for a separation, but they can never prepare for the aftermath. No matter how well-prepared someone is for a separation, I bet they can never be well-prepared enough for the broken heart that comes after it. I believe that a separation always hurts for both people who is leaving and who is being left behind. However, I’ve seen too many times that they don’t get hurt evenly in the end. One is always holding onto the memories longer than the other. One is always longing for too much than the other. One is developing denial which led to the illusion by themselves while the other is already moving on. And it feels sad and pathetic. That one person wishes to meet the other but in the end they are just too afraid to face their biggest fear. That one person hopes to see the other but eventually they are just too afraid to face the reality. They are too afraid to see their fantasy being tore apart by the reality; the reality that it’s all over. It’s reality that they have become error because of the somber separation and painful memories.

“If I hold onto you, it hurts, but if I let you go, it hurts even more. This place is deeper than a dream inside a dream; I have no confidence to escape from it. Saying that I’ll forget all of you is all a lie that remains in me. Your face spreads throughout my heart again, it hurts even more than before. I think I miss you even more.” –VIXX, Error




어쩔 없어서 버렸어 모든 감정을 지웠어
(Eojjeol su eobseoseo beoryeosseo modeun gamjeongeul jiwosseo)
((I couldn’t help it, so I threw it all away, I erased all of my emotions))
애써 지울 없어서 let me free 맘이 안쓰러워서 let me breathe
(Neol aesseo jiul su eobseoseo, let me free, nae mami ansseureowoseo, let me breathe)
((But I couldn’t erase you, let me free, because my heart was too sad, let me breathe))
이대로 살면 쉬면 살아있기만 하면 안돼
(Idaero salmyeon dwae sum swimyeon dwae saraitgiman hamyeon dwae wae andwae)
((I just need to live like this, I just need to breathe, I just need to be alive, why can’t I?))
내가 괜찮다는데 let me free 내가 이게 나은데 let me breathe
(Naega gwaenchantaneunde, let me free, naega ige deo naeunde, let me breathe)
((Though I said it’s okay, let me free, though this is better for me, let me breathe))
칼날 같은 말에 베일까 두려웠어 쉬고 밥을 먹는 채로 그냥 버티기만
(Kallal gateun ne mare beilkka duryeowosseo nan sum swigo babeul meongneun chaero geunyang beotigiman hae)
((I was afraid that I’d get cut by your sharp, knife-like words, I just need to breathe and eat to endure through this))
나는 비겁했어 버티고 싶었어 손에 가슴을 쥐고 나를 위하는 삶을 선택했어
(Naneun bigeophaesseo beotigo sipeosseo nae sone nae gaseumeul jwigo nareul wihaneun sarmeul seontaekhaesseo nan)
((I was a coward, I wanted to endure through this, I’m holding my heart in my hand, I choose a life that is for me))

나를 놓치기 싫어 나를 망치기 싫어
(Nareul nochigi sirheo nareul deo mangchigi sirheo)
((I don’t want to let go of myself, I don’t want to ruin myself anymore))
끝나도 끝나지 않는 기억에 이길 자신이 없어
(Kkeutnado kkeutnaji annneun gieoge igil jasini nan eobseo)
((Memories that aren’t ending even when it’s over, I have no confidence to win over it))
사랑 같은 결국 사람에겐 거짓말
(Sarang gateun geon gyeolguk han saramegen geojitmal)
((The thing about love is that in the end it’s just a lie to one person))
이젠 잊는 나를 지켜봐 똑바로 뜨고서 절대 잊지 나를 지우지
(Ijen neol itneun nareul jikyeobwa du nun ttokbaro tteugoseo neon jeoldae nal itji ma neon nareul jiuji ma)
((Now look at me forgetting you, with your eyes wide open, don’t you ever forget me, don’t you ever erase me))

심장을 절뚝거리다 길의 끝은 여기야 라고 단정 짓고 모금
(Simjangeul jeolttukgeorida i girui kkeuteun yeogiya rago danjeong jitgo sum han mogeum)
((My heart was limping and this is the end of the road, after making that decision))
들이쉬고 나서는 깊은 한숨을 내쉬며 가슴에 그녀를 찢어
(Deuriswigo naseoneun gipeun hansumeul naeswimyeo gaseume geunyeoreul da jjijeo)
((And taking a breath, I let out a deep sigh, I rip her up from inside my heart))
소리 없는 비명을 지르다가 이리저리 떠다니는 잔상을 지워
(Sori eomneun bimyeongeul jireudaga irijeori tteodanineun jansangeul jiwo)
((As I let out a silent scream, I’m erasing the after-images that are floating around))
남아있는 추억들을 하늘 위로 불태워 burn
(Namainneun chueokdeureul haneul wiro bultaewo burn)
((Burning all the remaining memories up to the sky, burn))

나를 놓치기 싫어 나를 망치기 싫어
(Nareul nochigi sirheo nareul deo mangchigi sirheo)
((I don’t want to let go of myself, I don’t want to ruin myself anymore))
끝나도 끝나지 않는 기억에 이길 자신이 없어
(Kkeutnado kkeutnaji annneun gieoge igil jasini nan eobseo)
((Memories that aren’t ending even when it’s over, I have no confidence to win over it))
사랑 같은 결국 사람에겐 거짓말
(Sarang gateun geon gyeolguk han saramegen geojitmal)
((The thing about love is that in the end it’s just a lie to one person))
이젠 잊는 나를 지켜봐 똑바로 뜨고서 절대 잊지
(Ijen neol itneun nareul jikyeobwa du nun ttokbaro tteugoseo neon jeoldae nal itji ma)
((Now look at me forgetting you, with your eyes wide open, don’t you ever forget me))

다시 만났어 울었어 뭔가 잘못돼 버렸어
(Neol dasi mannasseo ureosseo mwonga jalmotdwae beoryeosseo)
((I met you again, I cried, something went terribly wrong))
가슴이 기억하고 있어 let me free 전부 그대로였어 let me breathe
(Gaseumi gieokhago isseo, let me free, jeonbu geudaeroyeosseo, let me breathe)
((My heart is still remembering, let me free, everything is still the same as then, let me breathe))
피할 곳이 없어 너를
(Deo pihal gosi eobseo neoreul)
((There’s nowhere to run from you))

너를 잡으면 아픈 놓아도 아픈 나를
(Neoreul jabeumyeon apeun nohado deo apeun nareul)
((If I hold onto you, it hurts, but if I let you go, it hurts even more))
꿈속의 꿈보다 깊은 이곳을 벗어날 자신이 없어
(Kkumsogui kkumboda gipeun igoseul beoseonal jasini eobseo)
((This place is deeper than a dream inside a dream, I have no confidence to escape from it))
잊는다는 전부 남겨진 나의 거짓말
(Itneundaneun geon jeonbu namgyeojin naui geojitmal)
((Saying that I’ll forget all of you, is all a lie that remains in me))
가슴에 다시 번지는 얼굴 전보다 아픈 같아 그리운 같아 해로운 같아
(Gaseume dasi beonjineun eolgul jeonboda apeun geot gata deo geuriun geot gata deo haeroun geot gata)
((Your face spreads throughout my heart again, it hurts even more than before, I think I miss you even more, I think it’s even more dangerous))

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