Archive for January 2018

Have you ever been awake at night from your deep sleep, only to realize that you love someone? You are wide awake in all of a sudden and there is this feeling deep inside your heart that raises your heartbeat. Unknowingly you just find this kind of urge to tell that person one thing; one thing about your feeling. And it is what you feel right now. It is one thing that cannot wait till the sun to rise. You just find this kind of unexplainable urgency to tell that thing right now, at the moment. For that someone is the one. For that someone is the particular. For that someone is the lone; unlike the others and will never be the same. You realize it. You understand it. And you know that you got to tell it now. And at that time, your walls are suddenly just disappeared. Your insecurities fade out to the background. Your defense is at its weakest point. And your fears are hiding away. All you know is that you have to tell this one important thing. And there is nothing could come in between. You finally have the courage to tell, without hypocrisy; that you love that person.

“Your shadow is haunting every of my motion and volition. My thirst for you is killing my emotion and also my ambition.” –Iwan Fals, The Lone (Yang Tersendiri)

This classic is titled “The Lone (Yang Tersendiri)”, performed by Indonesian legendary singer, Iwan Fals. It was released in 1985 as a part of the singer’s album, “Sore Tugu Pancoran”. The rock ballad track was written by Tommy Marie. Lyrically, this song is a love confession for the one and particular; a simple yet deep and sincere love confession. It’s somehow soothing. And a rock ballad confession song cannot be more heartfelt than this.

"Sore Tugu Pancoran" album cover | source: id.wikipedia.org

There is always this one of a kind person in our life; the one who is just different. And we cannot point out why or how they are different from other. That person came and touched our life. And since then, our life is never be the same; ever again. This one of a kind person is like coming out from our wildest dream and deepest imagination. They’re like the embodiment of all of our passion and desire. And since then, we could not want someone so much to be in our life for the rest of it. This one of a kind person is like the sweetest melody we’ve never heard before. They’re like the song we used to know when we were a child; always in our mind and gravitating deep within. And since then, we could not desire someone so much to be with us for the rest of our life. And we wake up in the middle of the night, just to realize that it’s all real. The feeling is real. Our feeling is real. It’s not just a fantasy. We’re in love. “Crashed, as I’m awake from the circle of dream at the lonely point. Your voice is ringing, piercing my fantasy, which is also about you.”

There is always this one of a kind person in our life; the one who is just particular. And we cannot exactly describe in a better way about why and how they are particular and special. That person came and changed our life. And they never leave. They’re just always there. They affect every of our move, our decision, and our thought. They give impact in every of our dream, passion, and desire. They change us without we even realize. They make us bend to every single rule we have set for ourselves. Yet we never mind with all of that. And ever since, everything we think, everything we do, everything we choose, everything we decide; it’s all for the sake of that person. And even when they’re not beside us, their shadow is haunting us and their presence is killing us for the deep longing feeling we feel every time they are away. And we wake up in the middle of the night, just to realize that we cannot deny; we love that person. “Your shadow is haunting every of my motion and volition. My thirst for you is killing my emotion and also my ambition.”

There is always this one of a kind person in our life; the one who is just destined to be the only. And we cannot exactly explain in a rational way about why and how they are the one. In front of them, we surrender without a fight. In front of them, we bend the knee willingly. In front of them, our vanity is just disappeared. Without us even knowing, we have lost all of our pride and we don’t even mind. Without we even knowing, we have lost all of our sanity and we don’t even feel worry. Without us even knowing, we have lost our entire defense and we don’t even drawback. They are the exception. And only with that person, we can admit without hypocrisy, we love them. And only with that person, even our arrogance is vowing that we love them. “And I admit without hypocrisy, I love you. Indeed, my arrogance swears that I love you.” And we wake up in the middle of the night, just to realize that this is the one we live for. We’ve found that person. We won’t let them go. And we’ve got to confess this real feeling we have. And it can’t wait.

Iwan Fals in the recent years | source: musikae.com

When you find someone like this, you’ll know. You’ll know how it feels to love someone until you cannot love someone else better. You’ll know how it feels to want someone until you cannot want someone else more. You’ll know how it feels to need someone until you cannot need someone else more. You’ll know how it feels to desire someone until you cannot desire someone else deeper. You’ll know how it feels to be attached to someone until you cannot be attached to someone else deeper. You’ll know how it feels to care for someone until you cannot care for someone else. You’ll know how it feels to love someone genuinely and authentically. You’ll know how it feels to love someone sincerely. You’ll know how it feels to love someone until you don’t matter about anything else. And if you don’t feel it, then that person is not the one. If you don’t feel it, they’re not the only. If you don’t feel it, they’re not the particular. And if they’re not, then you better find someone else who is; for if you stay, you’ll only live in hypocrisy. And your life will be meaningless.

“And I admit without hypocrisy, I love you. Indeed, my arrogance swears that I love you.” –Iwan Fals, The Lone (Yang Tersendiri)

Terhempas ku terjaga dari lingkar mimpi pada titik sepi

(Crashed, as I’m awake from the circle of dream at the lonely point)

Suaramu terngiang menembus khayalku yang juga tentangmu

(Your voice is ringing, piercing my fantasy, which is also about you)

Dan ku akui tanpa kemunafikan, ku cinta kau

(And I admit without hipocrisy, I love you)

Bahwasanya keangkuhanku bersumpah, aku cinta kau

(Indeed my arrogance swears that I love you)

Bayangmu menghantui setiap gerakku dan kemauanku

(Your shadow is haunting every of my motion and volition)

Dahagaku akanmu matikan emosi juga ambisiku

(My thirst for you is killing my emotion and also my ambition)

Dan ku akui tanpa kemunafikan, ku cinta kau

(And I admit without hypocrisy, I love you)

Bahwasanya keangkuhanku bersumpah, ku cinta kau

(Indeed my arrogance swears that I love you)

Dan ku akui tanpa kemunafikan, ku cinta kau

(And I admit without hypocrisy, I love you)

Bahwasanya aku bersumpah, aku cinta kau

(Indeed I swear that I love you)

Dan ku akui tanpa kemunafikan, ku cinta kau

(And I admit without hypocrisy, I love you)

Bahwasanya keangkuhanku bersumpah, ku cinta kau

(Indeed my arrogance swears that I love you)

Wrote by Mashita Fandia

Do you have any song you like to listen every time you feel sad? It’s a song to ease your pain or just to calm your weary heart. It’s a song to peace your mind or just to wash away the scar. It’s a song to give you strength or just to help you sinking deeper in sadness. Whenever I feel enormously sad, I like to listen to “Everybody Hurts”, just to remind me that I am not alone; that I am with myself. Though there is no one out there who could understand my sadness or why I do feel enormously sad, well I feel it anyway. And this pain is real; as much as I could feel it, it’s real. As much as I want people around me, particularly those significant ones, to understand how I feel, I cannot demand them to do that. As long as I can understand what I feel, I guess that is enough. And that is what I need. I don’t need to make them understand if they don’t want to. I know I need to hang on. And if anybody else doesn’t want to help me, it’s fine. I know I need to hold on. And if anybody else doesn’t want to stand by me or take my side, it’s okay. I’m used to it.

“When the day is long, and the night, the night is yours alone. When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on. Don’t let yourself go, ‘cause everybody cries, and everybody hurts sometimes.” –R.E.M., Everybody Hurts

This song is titled “Everybody Hurts”, performed by the American rock band R.E.M. It was released on April 15th 1993 as the fourth single taken from the band’s eighth studio album, “Automatic for the People”, which was released prior to the single on October 5th 1992. All of the members of the band share songwriting credits toward this alternative soft rock track; Bill Berry, Peter Buck, Mike Mills, and Michael Stipe. This song soothes me both lyrically and melodically. And I don’t have many words to tell you how heartfelt and heartwarming “Everybody Hurts” is to listen to whenever I feel enormously sad and feel like giving up.

"Everybody Hurts" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Some days feel longer than it usually is. Some nights feel colder than it used to be. Some times are just simply hard. Sometimes the loneliness feels more unbearable than it usually is. Sometimes the emptiness is crueler than it used to be. Sometimes our mind got more exhausted than it usually does. Sometimes our heart got more anxious than it used to be. Sometimes our troubles seem harder than they usually are. Sometimes our pain tortures us deeper than it used to be. And at times like that we just feel like we’ve had enough; enough of everything that has harmed us. We feel like we’ve done for; done for all the things that have crumbled us apart. We feel like we’ve gotten enough; enough of anything that has broken us and tearing us apart. We’re scattered and lost. And we cry; we cry harder than we used to. And we scream; we scream louder that we used to. “When the day is long, and the night, the night is yours alone. When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on. Don’t let yourself go, ‘cause everybody cries, and everybody hurts sometimes.”

There are times when the universe just seems unfriendly. There are times when the world just seems evil. There are times when the life is just simply harsh. Sometimes it feels like everything does wrong and nothing is well. Sometimes it feels like it would only get worse and worse. Sometimes it feels like there’s nothing to hold on anymore. We feel like letting go. We think we’ve had too much of this life. We feel helpless. We feel stuck. And we cry; we cry louder than we used to. And we scream; we scream the more enormous pain than we used to. And we drown ourselves in tears and sorrow. And we sink ourselves in scars and hollow. And we are lying down there in the darkness until it consumes us as we gradually become one with our solitude. “Sometimes everything is wrong, now it’s time to sing along. When your day is night alone, hold on. If you feel like letting go, hold on. If you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on. ‘Cause everybody hurts, take comfort in your friends. Everybody hurts, don’t throw your hand. If you feel like you’re alone, no, you are not alone.”

We cry. We are hurt. We hear this song. And maybe it’s time to sing along. And so we realize. Everybody cries sometimes. Everybody hurts sometimes. We’re not the only one. And we try hard to not let ourselves go. And we try hard to hold on. And we try hard to hang on. And we try hard to find comfort in our friends; even if our only friend is ourselves. And we try hard not to throw our hand. We’re not on our own in this life. We’re not alone. Everybody else also cries sometimes. Everybody else also hurts sometimes. And we try hard to be strong. And we try hard to get a grip to get on. And we try hard to move along. And all we know is that we are hurt. And for now we cry it all. But we try. We try. We try. And we keep on trying. It hurts so badly and we cry so loudly, but we try. Yes, we do try. “If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long. When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on, well, everybody hurts sometimes, everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes, and everybody hurts sometimes. So hold on. Everybody hurts, no you are not alone.”

"Automatic for the People" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

And as much as we try to embrace ourselves, we spell the words ‘hold on’ like a mantra. We spell it to give strength for ourselves. We spell to help ourselves to hang on. We spell it to get a grip on ourselves. Yes, everybody hurts sometimes. It is just how life is. Yes, people do hurt each other sometimes. It is just how human’s relationship is. It is okay to be hurt. We are human. And it is humane to feel pain and sadness. It is humane to just feel. We are not a robot. We are not a heartless machine. We don’t feel things mechanically. We are human and we get hurt sometimes. And the way we deal with the sadness is what defines us as a human being. We feel it. We absorb it. We process it in our heart and mind. And we learn from it. We fall down and we get back up. Though it needs some time, we will do it. It is alright to take some times. Time is all we need. And time is all we need to make. If we can’t get it then we make it. It’s not the first time we get hurt. And it won’t be last time. We’ll keep getting hurt sometimes. And it’s okay.

“If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long. When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on, well, everybody hurts sometimes, everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes, and everybody hurts sometimes. So hold on. Hold on.” –R.E.M., Everybody Hurts

When the day is long, and the night, the night is yours alone

When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on

Don’t let yourself go, ‘cause everybody cries, and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong, now it’s time to sing along

When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on), if you feel like letting go (hold on)

If you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

‘Cause everybody hurts, take comfort in your friends

Everybody hurts, don’t throw your hand, oh no, don’t throw your hand

If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long

When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes, everybody cries

And everybody hurts sometimes, and everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Everybody hurts, no, no, no, no, you are not alone

Wrote by Mashita Fandia

As we live this life, we make mistake. And some people punish their own selves harder than anybody else. It seems like the punishment from the society or from the people who are affected by their mistake is not enough to sink them in guilt. Some people are just like that. They are being hard on themselves. Moreover, when their mistake is hurting or disappointing certain person around them, particularly someone significant for them, they punish themselves harder. Moreover, when their mistake is troubling someone else, they are blaming themselves. And when the person affected by their mistake is being angry at them, it only makes them blame themselves harder. And when they do, they feel stuck. They do not know what to do; particularly they do not know how to make it up for their mistake. They do not know how to apologize. They are just stunned; like being caught in a spider web. They are trapped in their own guilt. They are drowning; sinking. It’s hard to breathe for them. And they need time to get back up to the surface.

“Oh no, I see a spider web is tangled up with me. And I lost my head, and thought of all the stupid things I’d said.” –Coldplay, Trouble

It’s a song titled “Trouble”, performed by the British rock band, Coldplay. It was released on October 26th 2000 as the third single taken from the band’s debut album, “Parachutes”, which was released on July 10th 2000. The alternative rock track was written by Coldplay; Chris Martin, Will Champion, Jonny Buckland, and Guy Berryman. Lyrically, “Trouble” is about behaving badly towards somebody you really love or somebody who is so important for you. And it makes you reflect upon your mistake and send your apologies.

"Trouble" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

People make mistakes. People say stupid things. Most of the times, it has been too late when we figure out that things we say are foolish that it hurts people around us. Sometimes it is just too late when we realize that things we say are so mean that it makes someone else angry at us. At times, we are already trapped in the spider web when we understand that we have made mistake by things we say. “Oh no, I see a spider web is tangled up with me. And I lost my head, and thought of all the stupid things I’d said.” People do stupid things. And sometimes it’s just already too late when we have done stupid things that hurt and disappoint people around us. We’re already caught in the middle of guilt and despair and we cannot get out of it. it’s like we’re already caught in a spider web and cannot run away from it. We’re already trapped in the guilt; deep. It consumes us until we’re lost and drowned. “Oh no what’s this, a spider web and I’m caught in the middle. So I turn to run, and thought of all the stupid things I’d done.”

People make mistakes. And there are times when the mistake they make is consuming them in guilt, because it is so big and it seems intolerable and unforgivable. And as ugly as their mistakes may seem, they actually never meant to do that. And that is what makes it harder for them. They never meant all of those stupid things they have said and done. However, the pain, disappointment, and anger from people affected by their mistakes have taken a toll on them. They’ve already consumed by the guilty feeling of their own. “Oh no, I see, a spider web and it’s me in the middle. So I twist and turn, but here am I in my little bubble.” As much as they wish that they could turn back the time, they could not. As much as they wanted to undo their mistakes, they could not. As much as they hope that they could just erase all of their mistake and start a clean slate, they could not. “And I, I never meant to cause you trouble, and I, I never meant to do you wrong. And I, well if I ever caused you trouble, and oh no, I never meant to do you harm.”

People make mistakes. And there are times when they punish themselves hard for those mistakes. They know that they have to apologize. They just don’t know how for now because they’re trapped in their own guilt. They know they need to make it up for their mistakes. They just need some time to figure it out how because for now they’re caught in the middle of their guilt and cannt get out of it. “Singing that I, I never meant to cause you trouble, and I, I never meant to do you wrong. And I, well if I ever caused you trouble, and oh no, I never meant to do you harm.” They punish themselves for they never meant to do wrong. They’re being hard on themselves because they never meant to cause trouble. They’re blaming themselves too much because they never meant to do harm. And now they are sitting in the dark, watching as their mistakes strangle them and choke them to death. It is as if they watch spiders spun the webs around them. They are helpless. They are hopeless. They need some time to be able to breathe again. “They spun a web for me.”

"Trouble" Norwegian Live EP cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Have you ever made a mistake; a mistake that is so foolish yet having a big consequence that it makes you torture yourself? Have you ever made a mistake; a mistake that is so stupid yet causing a great effect that it makes you punish yourself? Have you ever made a mistake; a mistake that is so silly yet leaving an enormous aftermath that it makes you being too hard on yourself? It’s the mistake you do unconsciously, when you actually never meant to cause trouble for people affected by your mistake. It’s the mistake you do unwittingly, when you actually never meant to do those people wrong. It’s the mistake you do without realizing, when you actually never meant to do those people harm. It’s natural to feel guilty and refrain yourself from the world. It’s alright to be hard on yourself and blame you for that mistake. It’s okay to punish yourself. However, don’t do that too much. Instead, do that to reflect upon your mistake. Use the time, as much as you need, to take a grip, be a grown up, make an apology, and make it up for that mistake. And that is what I’m trying to do right now. It’s time to stop acting like a knobhead.

“I never meant to cause you trouble, and I, I never meant to do you wrong. And I, well if I ever caused you trouble, and oh no, I never meant to do you harm.” –Coldplay, Trouble

Oh no, I see a spider web is tangled up with me

And I lost my head, and thought of all the stupid things I’d said

Oh no what’s this, a spider web and I’m caught in the middle

So I turn to run, and thought of all the stupid things I’d done

And I, I never meant to cause you trouble, and I, I never meant to do you wrong

And I, well if I ever caused you trouble, and oh no, I never meant to do you harm

Oh no, I see, a spider web and it’s me in the middle

So I twist and turn, but here am I in my little bubble

Singing that I, I never meant to cause you trouble, and I, I never meant to do you wrong

And I, well if I ever caused you trouble, and oh no, I never meant to do you harm

They spun a web for me, they spun a web for me, they spun a web for me

Wrote by Mashita Fandia

It’s been a month since Kim Jonghyun left us. How is the afterlife? My heart is breaking apart all over again watching Lee Hi’s performance on the 32nd Golden Disk Awards. It was a special tribute stage for the late Jonghyun as she performed “Breathe (한숨)”, a song written by Jonghyun for her. My heart is tearing apart knowing that he wrote lyrics and melody that consoled and soothed other people’s weary heart, but is failing to console and soothe his own. However, who knows? Perhaps all of his struggles and hardships are lifted now that he’s up there. It must be is. Indeed, this cruel advance capitalism system in our society in this digital era has put some people on the edge. People are forced to fulfill some standards set by the society. And when they fail, they are judged by the society. It feels like there is no room for breathing. Hence, people forget to breathe most of the time. The society has driven people to live in a fast-paced life, without a room for tolerance, sympathy, empathy, and even love. It’s tiring. And it’s suffocating.

“Even though your sigh may seem weak and cheerless to others, I know, that your day was so difficult, that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh. Now don’t think about anything else, breathe in deeply and let it out just like that.” –Lee Hi, Breathe (한숨)

“Breathe (한숨)”, performed by Lee Hi, was released on March 9th 2016 as the title track for the singer’s second studio album, “Seoulite”. The album marked her comeback to the Korean music scene after a three-year hiatus following the release of her debut studio album in 2013. “Seoulite” was released first in a half album format, with the first half being released on March 9th 2016 and the full album released digitally in April 20th 2016, and physically a week later. An official accompany music video for “Breathe (한숨)” was premiered on Mnet on March 8th 2016. The song is a ballad track written by the late SHINee’s member, Kim Jonghyun, with the music composed and arranged by Jonghyun along with WeFreaky. Lyrically, it’s a song to bring comfort to those going through a hard or dark time. It reminds us on how to live as a ‘human’. It reminds us that we’re not a machine created by the society. We are human. And we need to breathe.

"Seoulite" first half album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

We live our day to day, working and pushing ourselves to the limits. We have some target and we press ourselves to meet our target. However, amidst all of the business that takes away our body and mind, do we even remember to breathe? Without we even notice, our body and mind got exhausted. At times, we can’t even figure out why. We just feel sad and lonely and empty. And we blame ourselves too much for making one mistake. We blame ourselves too much for being tired and weak; not strong enough, not capable enough to handle the pressure, not good enough to face the problem. We need to stop; just stop for a while. We need to breathe in, deeply. “Take a deep breath, until both sides of your chest get numb, until they start to hurt a little. Let out your breath even more, until you feel like there’s nothing left inside of you. It’s alright if you run out of breath, no one will blame you. It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes, because anyone else does it too, I tell you it’s alright, although they are only some comforting words.”

We shouldn’t punish ourselves so hard just because we cannot meet the expectation that the society puts toward us. We’ve tried. And we should appreciate ourselves for trying. No matter what the result is, we should respect ourselves for getting through this far. It’s alright if we fail. We can always try again. Take a deep breath, inhale, exhale, and let it all out. Don’t be too hard on ourselves. Hence we can have empathy towards others too. How are we to understand other people’s deep sigh when we’re not in their shoes? How are we to judge them? We all have hard day. We all have difficult tasks in life. We all have burden and weary heart. Even if others think our sigh takes out energy and strength, we already know that we had a day that’s hard enough to let out even a small sigh. It’s okay to be not okay. “Even though your sigh may seem weak and cheerless to others, I know, that your day was so difficult, that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh. Now don’t think about anything else, breathe in deeply and let it out just like that.”

The society nowadays, with all of its demand from the advance capitalism system and the fast-paced digital era, has turned people into a mechanical human being. We should try to resist it. Unless we resist it, the humanity will be gone forever. It’s alright to be not okay. It’s okay to be tired and to take a rest. Don’t forget to breathe. Hence we will have empathy towards other people who seem not okay and tired. Hence we won’t judge people for their incapability of anything. Hence we will have tolerance for others. Hence the humanity will live on. “When someone is sighing, a breath as heavy as that, how can I see through that? Your sigh, even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, it’s alright, I will embrace you. You’ve worked really hard.” We will never what someone else has been going through, as well as they will never know ours. Sometimes, all we need is just a simple smile, or a warm big hug, in order to give strength towards one another. And we can say, thank you so much for your hard work, you really did a good job.

Lee Hi performed "Breathe" during the 32nd Golden Disk Awards on January 11th 2018 in a special tribute stage for the late Kim Jonghyun. She cried in the middle of the performance. | source: JTBC

Even though words are just words, a simple word of consolation can make someone’s day. Even though we do not know what they’ve been through, how hard it is for them, and how difficult they feel, we can at least give sincere words of consolation instead of judging them. This life is already harsh and cruel for everyone with their own struggle and hardship. We can at least not adding fuel to the fire by saying harsh and cruel words. We are human. Hence we are supposed to live humanely instead of mechanically. When we are tired, just stop for a while and take a deep breath. When we make mistake, just take a deep breath, say sorry, and make it up for our mistake. When we fail, just take a deep breath, take some rest for a while, and try again. When we feel lonely, just go home and ask for a hug from our significant person. Don’t be too hard on ourselves. Don’t punish ourselves too much. The world is already hard and difficult, so don’t make it harder by skipping some breath. Take a deep breath, and live; just live. And just live.

“When someone is sighing, a breath as heavy as that, how can I see through that? Your sigh, even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, it’s alright, I will embrace you.” –Lee Hi, Breathe (한숨)

숨을 크게 쉬어봐요 당신의 가슴 양쪽이저리게 조금은 아파올 때까지

(Sumeul keuge swieobwayo dangsinui gaseum yangjjogi jeorige jogeumeun apaol ttaekkaji)

((Take a deep breath, until both sides of your chest get numb, until they start to hurt a little))

숨을 더 뱉어봐요 당신의 안에 남은 게 없다고 느껴질 때까지

(Sumeul deo baeteobwayo dangsinui ane nameun ge eobdago neukkyeojil ttaekkaji)

((Let out your breath even more, until you feel like there’s nothing left inside of you))

숨이 벅차올라도 괜찮아요 아무도 그댈 탓하진 않아

(Sumi beogchaollado gwaenchanhayo amudo geudael tathajin anha)

((It’s alright if you run out of breath, no one will blame you))

가끔은 실수해도 돼 누구든 그랬으니까 괜찮다는 말 말뿐인 위로지만

(Gakkeumeun silsuhaedo dwae nugudeun geuraesseunikka gwaenchanhdaneun mal malppunin wirojiman)

((It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes, because anyone else does it too, I tell you it’s alright, although they are only some comforting words))

누군가의 한숨 그 무거운 숨을 내가 어떻게 헤아릴 수가 있을까요

(Nugungaui hansum geu mugeoun sumeul naega eotteohge hearil suga isseulkkayo)

((When someone is sighing, a breath as heavy as that, how can I see through that?))

당신의 한숨 그 깊일 이해할 순 없겠지만 괜찮아요 내가 안아줄게요

(Dangsinui hansum geu gipil ihaehal sun eobgetjiman gwaenchanhayo naega anajulgeyo)

((Your sigh, even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, it’s alright, I will embrace you))

숨이 벅차올라도 괜찮아요 아무도 그댈 탓하진 않아

(Sumi beogchaollado gwaenchanhayo amudo geudael tathajin anha)

((It’s alright if you run out of breath, no one will blame you))

가끔은 실수해도 돼 누구든 그랬으니까 괜찮다는 말 말뿐인 위로지만

(Gakkeumeun silsuhaedo dwae nugudeun geuraesseunikka gwaenchanhdaneun mal malppunin wirojiman)

((It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes, because anyone else does it too, I tell you it’s alright, although they are only some comforting words))

누군가의 한숨 그 무거운 숨을 내가 어떻게 헤아릴 수가 있을까요

(Nugungaui hansum geu mugeoun sumeul naega eotteohge hearil suga isseulkkayo)

((When someone is sighing, a breath as heavy as that, how can I see through that?))

당신의 한숨 그 깊일 이해할 순 없겠지만 괜찮아요 내가 안아줄게요

(Dangsinui hansum geu gipil ihaehal sun eobgetjiman gwaenchanhayo naega anajulgeyo)

((Your sigh, even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, it’s alright, I will embrace you))

남들 눈엔 힘 빠지는 한숨으로 보일진 몰라도

(Namdeul nunen him ppajineun hansumeuro boiljin mollado)

((Even though your sigh may seem weak and cheerless to others))

나는 알고 있죠 작은 한숨 내뱉기도 어려운 하루를 보냈단 걸

(Naneun algo itjyo jageun hansum naebaetgido eoryeoun harureul bonaetdan geol)

((I know, that your day was so difficult, that it was hard for you to let out even a small sigh))

이제 다른 생각은 마요 깊이 숨을 쉬어봐요 그대로 내뱉어요

(Ije dareun saenggageun mayo gipi sumeul swieobwayo geudaero naebaeteoyo)

((Now don’t think about anything else, breathe in deeply and let it out just like that))

누군가의 한숨 그 무거운 숨을 내가 어떻게 헤아릴 수가 있을까요

(Nugungaui hansum geu mugeoun sumeul naega eotteohge hearil suga isseulkkayo)

((When someone is sighing, a breath as heavy as that, how can I see through that?))

당신의 한숨 그 깊일 이해할 순 없겠지만 괜찮아요 내가 안아줄게요

(Dangsinui hansum geu gipil ihaehal sun eobgetjiman gwaenchanhayo naega anajulgeyo)

((Your sigh, even though I won’t be able to understand its depth, it’s alright, I will embrace you))

정말 수고했어요

(Jeongmal sugohaesseoyo)

((You’ve worked really hard))

Wrote by Mashita Fandia

Heartbreaking news came in last Monday, January 15th 2018, that the frontwoman of the Cranberries, Dolores O’Riordan, passed away. Once again, the world has lost one of its greatest talents. As a kid born in early 1990, I was growing up listening to the Cranberries’ songs. Particularly, I grew up listening to O’Riordan’s voice and music. The Cranberries is a legend. Dolores O’Riordan was a legend. Over the years of her career in the music industry, her songs had accompanied many people all around the world through generations. Her lyrics had touched the heart of many people all around the world through generations. Her voice had given salvation for many people all around the world through generations. There are people who will live forever even after they have left the world. And Dolores O’Riordan is one of them. She’s gone now, but we all will surely miss her. She’s gone now, but her music will echo forever. She’s gone now, but her voice will linger forever. And it’s going to carry on. And that is what we do.

“And in the night, I could be helpless; I could be lonely, sleeping without you. And in the day, everything’s complex, there’s nothing simple, when I’m not around you.” –The Cranberries, When You’re Gone

“When You’re Gone”, performed by Irish band, the Cranberries, was released as the third single taken from the band’s third studio album, “To the Faithful Departed”, on November 1996. The album itself was release prior to the single on April 30th 1996. The alternative pop rock track was written by the late Dolores O’Riordan. I listened to this song right after I heard the news of O’Riordan’s departed. My heart is breaking apart. Her voice is really one of a kind and there won’t be any like her; not even in a million years. She is a legend. She will be remembered. She will be worshipped. And she will be missed.

"When You're Gone" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Falling in love could be everything but soothing. As much as it excites us, it makes us feel unsettling. And yes, this is the other side of falling in love that is rarely being spotted on. People talk about falling in love as if it’s the most beautiful thing in the world that could ever happen to us. However, they rarely talk about the other side effect of falling in love in which ironically we experience. “Hold onto love, that is what I do now that I’ve found you. And from above, everything’s stinking, they’re not around you.” Everything is beauty when we’re falling in love, noting that it’s wherever the person we’re in love with is around. On the other hand, it’s all ugly where the person is not around. We feel like flying when we’re falling in love, nothing that it’s whenever the person we’re in love with is around. On the other hand, we feel like sinking when the person is not around. That is just how falling love is. “Hold onto my hands, I feel I’m sinking, sinking without you. And to my mind, everything’s stinking, stinking without you.”

Falling in love could not be anything but troubling. As much as it gives us warm and fuzzy feeling, it makes us feel restless. Everything is fine whenever we’re with the person we’re in love with. However, things are not alright whenever that person is not around. Everything feels wonderful whenever we’re beside the person we’re in love with. However, things feel cold and harsh whenever that person is not around. “And in the night, I could be helpless; I could be lonely, sleeping without you. And in the day, everything’s complex, there’s nothing simple, when I’m not around you.” We could fast asleep and sound whenever we’re with the person we’re in love with. However, we find it hard to fall asleep whenever that person is not around. We could do our daily routine in peace whenever we’re with the person we’re in love with. However, we find it hard to do well whenever that person is not around. That is what falling in love could do to us. Be it the day or the night, it all seems unbearable without that person around us.

Falling in love could be all the beautiful things in the world, as well as the ugly things. As much as it makes us fulfilled, it makes us empty and hollow as well. We cannot live with it yet we cannot live without it. Though the absence of the person we’re in love with is hell for us, it doesn’t mean that cutting off the feeling would solve the problem. It cannot be done easily. Moreover, it will only make everything worse. When that person is gone, we’ll be missing them. And it’s going to be like that all the time. “But I’ll miss you when you’re gone, that is what I do, hey, baby. And it’s going to carry on, that is what I knew, hey, baby.” Nothing we do can seem to ease our anxiety; not until that person is here with us. Nothing we think can seem to calm our mind; not until we get to be together with that person. Nothing we say can seem to make things better; not until we’re beside that person. We spend the whole time missing that person. And that is what we do. We’re carrying that feeling all along all the time. And that is what we know.

"To the Faithful Departed" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Missing someone is one of hardest feelings ever. It’s the emptiness caused by the absence of someone so significant. It’s the anxiety and hollow caused by the lingering presence of someone so important. It’s the pain and sorrow caused by the longing for someone so precious. And the harder thing is that we know the feeling will be carried on. That person’s hand is the only thing that could save us from sinking, but the realization that the person is not here to reach out their hand is killing us. That person’s scent is the only thing that could save us from the stinking surrounding, but the awareness that the person is not around to give out their scent is killing us. It makes us helpless. And helpless is one of the worst feelings ever. Is there really nothing we can do to be with that person? Is there really not any effort we can try to be with that person? In the end, all we can do is holding onto love. However, when we love someone, we sacrifice for that person, right? Is there really no sacrifice we can do to be with that person? There must be is.

“But I’ll miss you when you’re gone, that is what I do, hey, baby. And it’s going to carry on, that is what I knew, hey, baby.” –The Cranberries, When You’re Gone