The Month of Love



On Monday, December 18th 2017, the world has lost one of its wonderful talents. The lead vocalist of Korean idol group SHINee, Kim Jonghyun, passed away in the age of 27. During his career in the entertainment industry for the last ten years of his life, he made the world brighter for them who cherish his music and songs. Through his piercing voice, he accompanied so many people around the world during their darkest time. He brought hopes and dreams towards them in their most difficult time in life. His music and songs have soothed so many broken hearts and lonely souls. One more beautiful soul has left us. And may he rest in peace. Life, indeed, is harsh and hard. And nothing fucks us harder than the life itself. However, some of us are blessed for having the ability to make life seems easier for other people. And Kim Jonghyun was the one of them. He had successfully pacified and put some anxious and weary mind at ease through his voice, music, and songs. He left us with so much love. Hence we must send him with lots of love too.

“Love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the hidden reason. Love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the reason I lived.” –Jonghyun & Jung Joon Young, Love Month (애월 (愛月))

One of the beautiful songs that Jonghyun left us with is the song titled “Love Month (애월 (愛月))”. He performed and wrote the song in collaboration with rocker Jung Joon Young for Mnet’s music program, Monthly Live Connection. The rock ballad track was released on October 29th 2015 as the third as well as the final track for Jonghyun’s stint on the television program. Jonghyun and Jung went on a getaway trip to Jeju Island for writing and composing the song together. It seems like they found a special bond through the solitude they feel in life. They both feel different from other people around them. They both often think deeply about life they live. Hence they both found similarities in their differences regarding to their views toward life. And they both agree: that no matter how hard it feels, it all comes down to one thing that could keep them feel alive, and the answer is love. And my heart is breaking apart listening to this song right after the news of Jonghyun’s death. And then it’s breaking again when I see the video of Jung visiting Jonghyun’s funeral with swollen eyes. Just like his beautiful piercing voice through our heart, the late Jonghyun will be remembered. And he will definitely be missed.


"Love Month" single cover | source: www.k2nblog.com

For those who think, people are living this life with these questions lingering in their mind: where did we come from? Who are we? Where will we go? Well, those three questions are philosophical as well as spiritual. Some philosophers, scientists, and even religious leaders have tried to answer these questions based on what they know best. However, human is a free creature. We are free to think for ourselves. Hence we are free to make answers for those three questions for ourselves. And we are also free to not give any answers at all and choose to hang those questions up in the air. “The spinning windmill, the leaves that scatter at the end of autumn, they mean nothing to me; even the wind that doesn’t look beautiful. Why am I like this?” At times, some people like to be in solitude while surrounded by nature, just to have some moment to think deeply. Why are we so different from other people? Why are we different? While other people seem able to enjoy their life, why can’t we be just like those other people?
At some point, we even despise ourselves for asking too many questions. And we even despise ourselves for thinking too much. Moreover, we despise ourselves because we keep doing it though we already know that there is no one else who cares about things that we are thinking about. Why aren’t we thinking like those other people? Why are we the only one who is thinking like this? What are those other people thinking about? And yes, life is hard most of the time. And for those who think, the hard time in life is the greatest trigger for some thoughts and contemplation. “This world that silently turns its back, this crying heart of mine; even if I’m walking with my head facing the ground, you just walk by as if you don’t care. Again today.” Hard times makes us feel alone and perhaps lonely. However, in the loneliness itself we are able to have private moment with ourselves to think deeply about things. And one thing for sure is that we must know that there is nothing wrong with it. We must not despise ourselves for doing so.
Eventually, we are not alone. We are not the only who thinks this way. We are not the only person in this life who thinks deeply about things. There are people who do it too. Perhaps we just don’t know them, yet, or perhaps we just don’t meet them, yet. “Actually you’re the same. You feel the same way as I do. We’re not so different.” There are people who think about life; where we came from, who we are, where we will go. There are people who question about life; where did we come from? Who are we? Where will we go? There are people who live this life in search for the reason of their existence. There are people who live this life in search of the purpose of their existence. “Love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the hidden reason. Love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the reason I lived.” There are people who try to find the answer to those three questions. For everybody has their own hard time. And who knows which one of those hard times that will trigger them to think deeper about their life. It’s not the first hard time, and it won’t be the last. So it’s alright to keep thinking.


Jonghyun and JJY performed "Love Month" on Mnet Monthly Live Connection | source: Mnet

It’s alright to keep questioning. It’s alright to never stop thinking. We are human and we are born with the capability to do that. Thinking and questioning, after all, are the things that define our humanity. We stop being human when we stop thinking and questioning. Questioning so many things and thinking too much don’t make us different. And even though we feel that we are different, we must know that being different isn’t a bad thing. The society may seem so resistant toward differences, but we are not alone. Don’t lose ourselves by trying too hard to fit in the society which we don’t feel comfortable within. It’s better to be ourselves even though it seems different. Everybody has their own role in this life. And I always believe that everybody has their own place. If you feel like you haven’t found your place yet, never give up to keep searching, or perhaps, you can make your own place. We’re not living this life to please everyone. And everybody will have their own time of their life. We all will do.

“Actually you’re the same. You feel the same way as I do. We’re not so different.” –Jonghyun & Jung Joon Young, Love Month (애월 (愛月))




돌아가는 풍차도 흩날리는 가을 끝자락 낙엽도
(Doraganeun jeo pungchado heutnallineun gaeul kkeutjarak nagyeopdo)
((The spinning windmill, the leaves that scatter at the end of autumn))
내겐 아무 의미 없어도 아름다워 보이지 않는 바람도
(Naegen amu uimi eopseodo areumdawo boiji anhneun baramdo)
((They mean nothing to me, even the wind that doesn’t look beautiful))
이럴까 이럴까 이럴까 이럴까 이럴까 이럴까
(Wae ireolkka wae ireolkka wae ireolkka wae ireolkka wae ireolkka wae ireolkka)
((Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this?))
Love smile hurt cry life 숨겨둔 이유 love smile hurt cry life 살아온 이유
(Love smile hurt cry life sumgyeodun iyu love smile hurt cry life saraon iyu)
((Love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the hidden reason, love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the reason I lived))

돌아가는 세상도 소리 없이 흐느끼는 마음도
(Doraganeun i sesangdo sori eopsi heuneukkineun nae maeumdo)
((This world that silently turns its back, this crying heart of mine))
땅만 보며 걸어가도 그래도 무심한 지나가잖아
(Ttangman bomyeo georeogado geuraedo neon musimhan deut jinagajanha)
((Even if I’m walking with my head facing the ground, you just walk by as if you don’t care))
오늘도 오늘도 오늘도 오늘도 오늘도 오늘도
(Oneuldo nan oneuldo nan oneuldo nan oneuldo nan oneuldo nan oneuldo nan)
((Again today, again today, again today, again today, again today, again today))
Love smile hurt cry life 숨겨둔 이유 love smile hurt cry life 살아온 이유
(Love smile hurt cry life sumgyeodun iyu love smile hurt cry life saraon iyu)
((Love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the hidden reason, love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the reason I lived))

Woo woo 사실은 너도 같잖아 woo woo 맘도 나와 같잖아
(Woo woo sasireun neodo gatjanha woo woo ne mamdo nawa gatjanha)
((Woo woo, actually you’re the same, woo woo, you feel the same way as I do))
Woo woo 우린 다를 없잖아 woo woo woo
(Woo woo urin dareul geot eopsjanha woo woo woo)
((Woo woo, we’re not so different, woo woo woo))
Love smile hurt cry life 숨겨둔 이유 love smile hurt cry life 살아온 이유
(Love smile hurt cry life sumgyeodun iyu love smile hurt cry life saraon iyu)
((Love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the hidden reason, love, smile, hurt, cry, life, the reason I lived))

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