Borderline
People and painful memories made me who I am.
And perhaps I will never know what you truly feel about me,
And what’s the meaning of my existence in your life...
... if I did exist.
If only I’m able to come into your heart,
I would
like to know if this child-like self of mine has a meaning for you.
If only I’m able to look into your heart,
I would
like to see how this mentally-ill self of mine means to you.
Are you having a hard time because of me?
I know I’m not enough for you...
... and I know it’s because of my
lack of everything.
I know you’re having a rough time right now.
And though I’m dying to talk to you, I’m trying my best not
to,
... for
I’m afraid that I will be a bother for you.
I miss you, but I can’t even tell you,
... for
I’m afraid that it will be a burden for you.
And you
never say that you miss me anymore.
I love you, but I can’t even show it,
... for
I’m afraid that it will make you sick of me.
And you
never say that you love me anymore.
As you live, whenever it feels too hard,
whenever
it gets too difficult,
for all the things that are
burdensome,
for all
the things that wear you out,
you can
blame me, blame me as much as you want,
until
you become free from the sadness that I’ve caused.
As I live, you can burn it all,
burn it
all,
burn it
all,
and if
there’s something left, still,
you can
burn it all as I live, until nothing’s left,
and you’ll be free.
We laugh because we have to.
We live because we have to.
Even if you were by my side, I would still cry,
... for
this borderline inside of me.
M.F
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