I Need You




Just when I thought (or I intended to be) that everything was going to be alright again, another storm of emotions has trapped me in despair. Today is one of the worst days. (As if I don’t have enough worst days throughout my 27 years of life.) I wonder how can there be people who like to see other people suffering. Moreover, when they are women. How can there be women who like to see other women suffering. And moreover again, how can there be women who are so proud of their ability to hurt other women. Well, I’m not going to talk about that regular bitch; not right now. I’m going to talk about relationship and unrequited love. The first wave that hits me today is sadness. There are times in a relationship in which we feel that we fight alone, when we are supposed to fight together with our partner. Hence the second wave that hits me today is disappointment. No matter how we feel abandoned in the relationship, most of the time we can do nothing about it. It’s because we love more. Indeed, ones who love more are the ones who get hurt deeper. But it doesn’t mean that they lose. Instead, they win; against their own ego.

You can’t do this to me. All of the words you said are like a mask. It hides the truth and rips me apart; it pierces me. I’m going crazy, I hate this. Take it all away, I just hate you. But you’re my everything.” –BTS, I Need U

The thing about love is: no matter how painful it is, we cannot walk away easily because we know we need that person whom we love. In the middle of this sadness and disappointment, I feel that this song resonates my current feeling very well. It is a Korean song titled “I Need U”, performed by the hottest boy group in the Kpop scene nowadays, BTS, also known as Bangtan Boys or Beyond the Scene. The power hip-hop electric dance pop track was released as the title track for the group’s third extended play, “The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 1”, on April 29th 2015. Prior to that, an official accompany music video for “I Need U” was premiered on SBS MTV on April 24th 2015. The song was written by three members of BTS, Rap Monster, J-Hope, and Suga, along with “Hitman” Bang, Brother Su, and Pdogg who also did the composing and arrangement of the song. Lyrically, it speaks the pain and sadness that someone feels from the unrequited love in a romance relationship, where they feel like being in a lonely fight in it.


"The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 1" white version mini album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Love will bring us down to our knees; if we love truly and sincerely. It makes us fall and scattered apart. It makes us break and falling down. It makes us ruined. We feel beaten and bruised; destroyed by the never ending anxiety from the unrequited feeling. We want to stop as we keep telling ourselves that we won’t have that person anymore. We want to quit as we keep telling ourselves that we can’t do this anymore. We have enough as the pain of the unrequited love makes us feel like shit. Yet every time we try to do that, it bounces back to the fact that the person is the only one. “Fall; scattered apart. Fall; falling down. Because of you, I’ve become ruined like this. I will stop, I don’t want you anymore. I can’t do it anymore, it feels like shit. Please don’t give me any excuses. You can’t do this to me. All of the words you said are like a mask. It hides the truth and rips me apart; it pierces me. I’m going crazy, I hate this. Take it all away, I just hate you. But you’re my everything. Please get away from here. I’m sorry, I hate you. I love you, I hate you. Forgive me.”
Love will drive our minds insane; if we love deeply and genuinely. It makes us go around and keep coming back again and again no matter how many times we got broken down and tore apart. Though we feel like a fool, we cannot help it. Our heart just won’t admit what our head already knew. The rationality is always beaten and bruised by the irrational. We keep talking to ourselves, while as always, that person is not saying anything. Yet no matter how we cry tears, and even though that person can see those tears clearly, we are left desperately alone. “It goes round and round, why do I keep coming back? I go down and down; I’m fool enough now at this point. I tried everything that I can do but I can’t help it. It is my heart, my mind, my emotion, but why don’t they listen to my words? I’m just talking to myself again, but you’re not saying anything. Please, I’ll treat you well. The sky is so blue, the sun is shining so bright, so you can see my tears are even more clearly. Why is it only you for me? Why does it have to be you? Why can’t I leave you?”
Love is a lonely fight for those who have their love unrequited. No matter how we think about it, we cannot just leave it. No matter how many times we ask ourselves why it’s only that person that we love and why it has to be that person that we love, we cannot just stop. Though we know that we are alone in this lonely fight, we need that person. Though we know that we will always get hurt in the process, we need that person. Though we know that the person is a cold beauty, we need that person. “I need you; why is it only me alone who’s in love and say goodbye? I need you; why do I keep needing you again when I know I’ll get hurt? I need you; you’re beautiful. I need you; you’re so cold. I need you.” And what makes it harder is that the person knows we need them. Hence they can play easily with our heart. And no matter how hard we plea to be just killed right away and end the pain, the plea will never be granted. “Just tell me you want to break up. Just tell me it wasn’t love. I don’t have the courage to say that. Please give me the last present, so I can’t ever go back to you.”


BTS in the music video of "I Need U" | source: Big Hit Entertainment

People say that we love someone hence we need that person. However, when it comes to relationship, it isn’t all about happiness and good things. Sometimes, romance relationship can feel like a lonely fight where we love alone and say goodbye alone and we keep getting in the loop over and over again. Perhaps it’s because we love more than our partner loves us. Most of the times, it’s because we love in a different way than how our partner loves us. Hence we feel like we’re being hurt most of the time, like our love is being taken for granted, or even worse, like we’re being treated as if we are dirty trash. At some point, love does hurt. And most of the time, it’s because we feel that our love is unrequited. And it makes us confused; it bruised our heart yet we cannot just walk away from the relationship. Because in the end of day, we know that it all comes down to the fact that we need our significant other. And all the anxiety and questions we always wonder come down to one answer: we need our significant other because we love our significant other.

It goes round and round, why do I keep coming back? I go down and down; I’m fool enough now at this point. I tried everything that I can do but I can’t help it. It is my heart, my mind, my emotion, but why don’t they listen to my words? I’m just talking to myself again, but you’re not saying anything.” –BTS, I Need U




Fall fall fall 흩어지네 fall fall fall 떨어지네
(Fall fall fall heuteojine fall fall fall tteoreojine)
((Fall, fall, fall, scattered apart, fall, fall, fall, falling down))
땜에 이렇게 망가져 그만할래 이제 가져
(Neo ttaeme na ireohge manggajyeo geumanhallae ije neo an gajyeo)
((Because of you, I’ve become ruined like this, I will stop, I don’t want you anymore))
못하겠어 같아서 제발 핑계 같은 삼가줘
(Mothagesseo mwot gataseo jebal pinggye gateun geon samgajwo)
((I can’t do it anymore,  it feels like shit, please don’t give me any excuses))
니가 나한테 이럼 니가 모든 말은 안대
(Niga nahante ireom an dwae niga han modeun mareun andae)
((You can’t do this to me, all of the words you said are like a mask))
진실을 가리고 찢어 찍어 미쳐 싫어 전부 가져가 니가 그냥 미워
(Jinsireul garigo nal jjijeo nal jjigeo na michyeo da silheo jeonbu gajyeoga nan niga geunyang miwo)
((It hides the truth and rips me apart, it pierces me, I’m going crazy, I hate this, take it all away, I just hate you))
But you’re my everything, you’re my everything, you’re my everything, you’re my
제발 꺼져 huh 미안해 I hate you 사랑해 I hate you 용서해
(Jebal jom kkeojyeo huh mianhae I hate you saranghae I hate you yongseohae)
((Please get away from here, I’m sorry, I hate you, I love you, I hate you, forgive me))

I need you girl 혼자 사랑하고 혼자서만 이별해
(I need you girl wae honja saranghago honjaseoman ibyeolhae)
((I need you, girl, why is it only me alone who’s in love and say goodbye?))
I need you girl 다칠 알면서 자꾸 니가 필요해
(I need you girl wae dachil geol almyeonseo jakku niga piryohae)
((I need you girl, why do I keep needing you again when I know I’ll get hurt?))
I need you girl 아름다워 I need you girl 너무 차가워
(I need you girl neon areumdawo I need you girl neomu chagawo)
((I need you girl, you’re beautiful, I need you girl, you’re so cold))
I need you girl, I need you girl, I need you girl, I need you girl

It goes round and round 자꾸 돌아오지 I go down and down 이쯤 되면 내가 바보지
(It goes round and round na wae jakku doraoji, I go down and down ijjeum doemyeon naega baboji)
((It goes round and round, why do I keep coming back? I go down and down, I’m fool enough now at this point))
무슨 짓을 해봐도 어쩔 수가 없다고 분명 심장 마음 가슴인데 말을 듣냐고
(Na museun jiseul haebwado eojjeol suga eopsdago bunmyeong nae simjang nae maeum nae gaseuminde wae mareul an deutnyago)
((I tried everything that I can do but I can’t help it, it is my heart, my mind, my emotion, but why don’t they listen to my words?))
혼잣말하네 혼잣말하네 혼잣말하네 혼잣말하네
(Tto honjasmalhane tto honjasmalhane tto honjasmalhane tto honjasmalhane)
((I’m just talking to myself again, talking to myself again, I’m just talking to myself again, talking to myself again))
아무 제발 내가 잘할게 하늘은 파랗게 하늘은 파랗게
(Neon amu mal an hae a jebal naega jalhalge haneureun tto parahge haneureun tto parahge)
((But you’re not saying anything, please, I’ll treat you well, the sky is colored blue again, the sky is colored blue again))
하늘이 파래서 햇살이 빛나서 눈물이 보이나
(Haneuri paraeseo haessari bitnaseo nae nunmuri deo jal boina bwa)
((The sky is so blue, the sun is shining so bright, so you can see my tears are even more clearly))
나는 너인지 하필 너인지 너를 떠날 수가 없는지
(Wae naneun neoinji wae hapil neoinji wae neoreul tteonal suga eopsneunji)
((Why is it only you for me? Why does it have to be you? Why can’t I leave you?))

I need you girl 혼자 사랑하고 혼자서만 이별해
(I need you girl wae honja saranghago honjaseoman ibyeolhae)
((I need you, girl, why is it only me alone who’s in love and say goodbye?))
I need you girl 다칠 알면서 자꾸 니가 필요해
(I need you girl wae dachil geol almyeonseo jakku niga piryohae)
((I need you girl, why do I keep needing you again when I know I’ll get hurt?))
I need you girl 아름다워 I need you girl 너무 차가워
(I need you girl neon areumdawo I need you girl neomu chagawo)
((I need you girl, you’re beautiful, I need you girl, you’re so cold))
I need you girl, I need you girl, I need you girl, I need you girl

Girl 차라리 차라리 헤어지자고 해줘girl 사랑이 사랑이 아니었다고 해줘
(Girl charari charari heeojijago haejwo girl sarangi sarangi anieossdago haejwo)
((Girl, just tell me you want to break up, girl, just tell me it wasn’t love))
내겐 그럴 용기가 없어 내게 마지막 선물을 더는 돌아갈 없도록
(Naegen geureol yonggiga eopseo naege majimak seonmureul jwo deoneun doragal su eopsdorok)
((I don’t have the courage to say that, please give me the last present, so I can’t ever go back to you))

I need you girl 혼자 사랑하고 혼자서만 이별해
(I need you girl wae honja saranghago honjaseoman ibyeolhae)
((I need you, girl, why is it only me alone who’s in love and say goodbye?))
I need you girl 다칠 알면서 자꾸 니가 필요해
(I need you girl wae dachil geol almyeonseo jakku niga piryohae)
((I need you girl, why do I keep needing you again when I know I’ll get hurt?))
I need you girl 아름다워 I need you girl 너무 차가워
(I need you girl neon areumdawo I need you girl neomu chagawo)
((I need you girl, you’re beautiful, I need you girl, you’re so cold))
I need you girl, I need you girl, I need you girl, I need you girl

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