I Don't Wanna Live Forever



The thing about love life and romance relationship is: once we have got the chance to feel the closest thing to perfection, it’s like we’re being enchanted. It’s because we know that it’s rare (or not, it’s almost impossible) to find someone who’s compatible with us both intellectually and sexually; someone whom we can not only have sex with the body but also with the mind. It’s perfection both on bed and in conversation. And once we have found that one significant other, we know that we won’t ever find it again somewhere else. That person’s existence becomes the only thing that matters the most for our existence. And that person’s absence becomes the most torturing and excruciating thing in our existence. That is when we feel that living forever would be in vain if we spend the whole lifetime without that person’s existence. That is when we feel that living temporary would mean forever if we spend it with that person only; for there is nothing that could replace what we get to have and feel when we are with that significant other.

I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places, baby, baby, I feel crazy. I see you around in all these empty faces, up all night, all night and every day.” –Zayn & Taylor Swift, I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

This song fits perfectly for my current condition. It is titled “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever”, performed by British singer-songwriter, Zayn, and American singer-songwriter, Taylor Swift. Zayn and Taylor recorded this electro R n’ B ballad track for the soundtrack of 2017 movie “Fifty Shades Darker”. It was released on December 9th 2016 as the lead single taken from the album “Fifty Shades Darker: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack”, which was released later on February 10th 2017. “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” was written by Swift herself along with Sam Dew and Jack Antonoff. An official accompany music video directed by Grant Singer was released January 27th 2017. Lyrically, the song portraits the main character’s feeling from the movie. It follows the story of a man and a woman who are longing for each other too much that the feeling is painfully unbearable.


"I Don't Wanna Live Forever" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Once we have tasted the closest thing to perfection in love and romance, it feels like we are being infatuated. We cannot help but wanting for more. We feel restless every time we are far apart from our significant other. We are sleepless; all we have been waiting for is the phonecall only. And nights feel so harshly cold without our significant other beside us. We cannot help but craving for more. We feel like we are going crazy because of the longing feeling. We are blank; all we have been waiting for is our significant other’s presence only. And days feel so cruelly devastating without our significant other by our side. “Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you’ll call. It’s just a cruel existence, like it’s no point hoping at all. Baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day. Give me something, but you say nothing; what is happening to me?” We feel helpless and hopeless. And our existence begins to feel excruciating. We cannot do anything at all, and the worse thing is that we don’t know what’s happening to us.
Once we have tasted the closest thing to perfection in love and romance, it feels like we are being under a spell. We cannot help but needing for more. Every time we are distance apart from our significant other, it leaves us blankly staring at the wall and wondering when we will meet our significant other again. We feel empty and lost; wondering whether we have missed something really important or just saved ourselves from drowning too deep in love. “I’m sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind; wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life. Baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day. I gave you something, but you gave me nothing, what is happening to me?” And the worse thing is that we can’t really figure out what’s happening to us. But then the answer is always clear: we long for our significant other too much. “I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places, baby, baby, I feel crazy. I see you around in all these empty faces, up all night, all night and every day.”
Once we have tasted the closest thing to perfection in love and romance, it feels like we are being enchanted. We cannot help but hunger for more. Hence we are empty whenever we are not around our significant other. We cannot help but thirst for more. Hence we are lost whenever we are far apart from our significant other. It feels like we have lost the desire to live if we are separated from our significant other. Even at the good places, we would be sad. Even at the crowded places, we would feel lonely. Nothing could make us feel better. “I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places; give me something, but you say nothing. Now I’m in a cab, I tell him where your place is; what is happening to me?” It feels like we have lost the spirit to continue living if we are separated from our significant other. Nothing could make us feel better unless the presence of our significant other. “I don’t wanna live forever, ‘cause I know I’ll be living in vain. And I don’t wanna fit wherever, I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home.”


"Fifty Shades Darker: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

My partner, Vidi Mahatma, is the one whom I have tasted the closest thing to perfection in love and romance with. And time feels like hell ever since we are being separated by distance. Days feel excruciating since I cannot focus on what I do because of missing him too much. Nights feel torturing since I cannot feel his body holding me tight. There are times when I do not want to do anything besides just reminiscing our time together. There are times when I seem like losing desire to live from longing for him too much, because living would be in vain without him. There are times when I seem like losing spirit to live from the emptiness caused by his absence, because living would be painful without him. At times like that, I just want to keep calling his name, until he comes back home; and his home is here with me. At times like that, I just do not want to fit wherever my surrounding is, until he comes back home; and his home is here with me. At times like right now, I just want to keep calling his name, until he comes back home; and his home is here with me. This situation drives me crazy. And I just want to keep calling his name, until he comes back home, here with me. I miss you. Please come back home, Vid.

I don’t wanna live forever, ‘cause I know I’ll be living in vain. And I don’t wanna fit wherever, I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home.” –Zayn & Taylor Swift, I Don’t Wanna Live Forever




Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you’ll call
It’s just a cruel existence, like it’s no point hoping at all
Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day
Give me something, oh, but you say nothing, what is happening to me?

I don’t wanna live forever, ‘cause I know I’ll be living in vain
And I don’t wanna fit wherever, I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home

I’m sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind
Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life
Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day
I gave you something, but you gave me nothing, what is happening to me?

I don’t wanna live forever, ‘cause I know I’ll be living in vain
And I don't wanna fit wherever, I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home

I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places, baby, baby, I feel crazy
I see you around in all these empty faces, up all night, all night and every day
I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places, give me something, oh, but you say nothing
Now I’m in a cab, I tell him where your place is, what is happening to me?

I don’t wanna live forever, ‘cause I know I’ll be living in vain
And I don’t wanna fit wherever, I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home, until you come back home

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