A Poem That Doesn't Sound Hypocrite



I want to write a poem that doesn’t sound hypocrite,
A poem that speaks her honest anxiety,
A poem that sings her sincere fears,
A poem that shouts her true sadness.
For when he neglects her, all that she feels is emptiness.
For when he pushes her away, her only friend is despair.
For when he shuts her off, she is being left alone in the darkness.

When he probably talks to another girl,
She can only lay down staring blankly at the ceiling.
When he probably laughs with another girl,
Her heart cries tears that her eyes aren’s able to cry.
When he probably has a chance meeting with another girl,
She can only lock herself in her room, waiting for his phonecall that never come.
When he probably goes for a dinner date with another girl,
She has no appetite because of her illness.
When he probably has sex with another girl,
She weakly lays down at the hospital, trying to endure the pain.
When he probably kisses another girl,
She has to eat those bitter medical pills.
When he probably sleeps with another girl,
She sleeps alone in the cold hospital room.
When he probably wakes up with another girl in his arms,
She wakes up in pain, wishing that tomorrow never come.

When all she wishes for is just to be with him,
He probably just busy chatting with another girl.
When all she wants is just to hear his voice,
He probably just busy singing for another girl.
When all she needs is just to see his face,
He probably just busy making some plans with another girl.
When all she hopes for is just to be in his arms,
He probably just busy watching movies with another girl.

She knows she lacks so much,
She knows she’s no good,
She knows she’s not a happy-go-lucky and cheerful girl that can make him happy all the time,
She knows she’s not a sexy and naughty girl that can burn him in desire,
She knows she’s not a pretty and innocent girl that can make him being protective,
She knows she’s just a mediocre.
She knows she’s unwanted.
She knows she’s undesirable.
She knows she’s rejectable.

She knows that his life would be just fine without her, but it’s not like that the other way around.
She’s not fine without him.
She knows that he can always replace her with another girl, but it’s not like that the other way around.
She can never find anyone to replace him.
She knows that he can always just forget her, but it’s not like that the other way around.
She can never forget him.

That is just what she’s honestly anxious about,
That is just what she sincerely fears about,
That is just what she’s truly sad about,
That she always thinks of him,
When he probably never think of her.

M.F

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