When You're Gone



In this life, as our surrounding is constantly changing, our identity is constantly changing according to our surrounding too. Hence it is alright if there are times when we feel anxious about our identity and wonder: who am I? What is my purpose in life? What is the meaning of my existence in this universe? It is fine too when we do not get the answer right at the time. For that is the essence of life anyway; we live while trying to discover the answer. Life is a process. And I have lived long enough to understand that nothing lasts forever. There is nothing permanent in life but the constant changing. And by that, we are able to evolve. Life is a process of a constant adjustment. People come and go in life. And we live in a constant adjustment, including the adjustment towards the emptiness that is left by those people who leave us along the way. I deal with that kind of adjustment every day. Indeed, it is hard to go by. And yet, nobody said it was easy. However, I do have faith that it’s all worth it; it’s the process that I have to grow through. This way I learn.

I’ve never felt this way before; everything that I do reminds me of you. And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor, and they smell just like you; I love the things that you do. When you walk away I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now?” –Avril Lavigne, When You’re Gone

The song I would like to write about this time is titled “When You’re Gone”, performed by Canadian singer-songwriter, Avril Lavigne. It was released on June 19th 2007 as the second single taken from the singer’s third studio album, “The Best Damn Thing”. The power ballad track was written by Lavigne herself along with Butch Walker and Jesse Welch. Lavigne has said the song “is about being with someone you love, and you have to say goodbye, and all the little things you miss about them”. Apparently, it really resonates with my current feeling. And there is no more to say about this but that I do really miss all the little things about my significant other and us.


"When You're Gone" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

It’s funny somehow; how someone’s presence can affect so much in our life. I used to be alright with loneliness. I used to do it all by myself, and I used to be okay with that. But then, one day someone came and everything just changed since then. I got used to have someone beside me. I got used to have someone to rely on and help me get through the day. Before him, I used to cry all alone. But then, I got used to have him around to cry on. “I always needed time on my own, I never thought I’d need you there when I cry. And the days feel like years when I’m alone, and the bed where you lie is made up on your side.” Before him, I used to sleep on my own. But then, I got used to have him by my side to sleep with. Before him, my routines used to pass by just like that. But then, I got used to do my routines with his presence around me. I got used to the every bit of him. And it lingers. “I’ve never felt this way before, everything that I do reminds me of you. And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor, and they smell just like you, I love the things that you do.”
It’s funny somehow; that we are able to understand the value of someone’s presence because of their absence. After he left, I forgot how to sleep on my own, for I used to have him by my side to sleep with. After he left, I forgot how to cry all alone, for I used to have him around to cry on. After he left, I forgot how to do things all by myself, for I used to have him with me to get through it all. And that’s when I realize that I need him to rely on. “When you walk away I count the steps that you take, do you see how much I need you right now?” After he left, I count the days until the time when I can meet him again. I long for him with all of my mind and body. After he left, I get through the days by words from him. I long for his voice in every single day. I long for him with every single pieces of me. “When you’re gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you. When you’re gone, the face I came to know is missing too. When you’re gone, the words I need to hear to always get me through the day, and make it okay, I miss you.”
It’s funny somehow; that even we are far away from our significant other, we can always feel their presence lingering around us. In every single thing that I do, I can feel him with me in the back of my head. It feels like he goes through what I go through. It feels like he can always hear what I say and think. It feels like he is always inside of my mind. And that’s when I know that we belong together. For all the times we have spent together, for all the moments we have shared together, we belong to each other. “We were made for each other, out here forever, I know we were. All I ever wanted was for you to know, everything I do, I give my heart and soul. I can hardly breathe; I need to feel you here with me.” And there is a pray in everything that I do; a pray that leads me to him, that one day we can be together again and no distance will ever bring us apart. It’s a pray that I will never tired to whisper; a sincere pray from deep inside. And tonight, just like the other night after he left, I miss him. I want him. And I need him more than anything else in this universe.


"The Best Damn Thing" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

In these past three months, I live in the process of adjustment for the emptiness caused by the absence of my significant other. And it’s been the hardest challenge I’ve ever faced in these past few years. There are times when I got caught up in the depressive state of mind. I could smell his scent that is lingered on the clothes he left just to keep my sanity. I could stare at his photographs for hours just to keep me alive. His text is the thing that makes me want to get up every morning. His phonecall is the thing I want to get every night. His voice is my only healing. Without it all, I’m crumbling down and losing the grip of my reality. However, I know that no matter how painful the process I have to go through, this is the way I will grow through. This is the way we will grow through as us. For it is “I and him” we are talking about, we can always define and redefine us in the process. For we are living in a constant adjustment towards the constant changing in life, everything is going to be alright again eventually. And nobody said it was easy.

We were made for each other, out here forever; I know we were. All I ever wanted was for you to know, everything I do, I give my heart and soul. I can hardly breathe; I need to feel you here with me.” –Avril Lavigne, When You’re Gone




I always needed time on my own, I never thought I’d need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I’m alone, and the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take, do you see how much I need you right now?

When you’re gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone, the face I came to know is missing too
When you’re gone, the words I need to hear to always get me through the day, and make it okay, I miss you

I’ve never felt this way before, everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor, and they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take, do you see how much I need you right now?

When you’re gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone, the face I came to know is missing too
When you’re gone, the words I need to hear to always get me through the day, and make it okay, I miss you

We were made for each other, out here forever, I know we were, yeah, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know, everything I do, I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you’re gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone, the face I came to know is missing too
When you’re gone, the words I need to hear to always get me through the day, and make it okay, I miss you

Share:

0 komentar