Summer Storm



Everyone has their own perspective regarding to how an ideal relationship should be. Some people may think that an ideal relationship should be a stable one; a quiet and healthy relationship which rarely having arguments because one is very careful and patience towards another. Some other people may argue that an ideal relationship should be a solid one; a strong and cheerful relationship which is like a pair of best friends because one is always supportive towards another. For me personally, an ideal relationship should be an open one; a fragile yet in that fragility it is somehow meaningful. We may have many high emotionally cost arguments. We may fight a lot. However, the relationship is strengthened by those arguments and fights. It is a kind of relationship in which the intimacy is enhanced by conflicts and the communication. Through those conflicts and the communication, we define “us”. And the process, though it’s painful and excruciating, is the one thing that we will long for the most, because it’s what gives meanings toward the relationship itself. It is like a summer storm; no matter how catastrophic it was, we would always crave back for it.

After it passed like a storm, and I opened my eyes again, you’re no longer here, I realize. I believed the way it is, I think I’m such a fool, because now I only have useless memories remain and I live in there.” –Jessica, Summer Storm

Today I’m in the mood of writing about this one song. Since the first time I listened to it, I got hooked. It is titled “Summer Storm”, performed by the former member of Girls’ Generation, Jessica Jung. The alternative pop track was released as the lead single for the singer’s third mini album, “My Decade”, which was released on August 9th 2017. The EP release marks the singer’s 10th debut anniversary with SNSD. Jessica penned the lyrics for the song herself, while the music was composed and arranged by KAIROS, Swish, WESKOZ, K.O, and Jay Kim. Lyrically, it follows the story of a woman who goes through the aftermath of a breakup as she is dealing with depression and heartbreak. Since the first time I understood the lyrics, I felt like, how come Jessica knows exactly what I currently feel?! This song suits my current mood so well as I go through the same phase as she wrote in this song. She expresses my feeling so well. And I play this song on repeat as I write this. And I won’t regret for going through this depressive state, since I know that this is the process I must go through in order to be able to grow and raise stronger than before.


"My Decade" mini album cover | source: k2nblog.com

No matter whether the relationship ends or not, a separation always brings heartbreak. It’s like a storm in the midst of summer. And dealing with the aftermath is the worst. We’re going into a state of depression; a combination of sad, disappointment, loneliness, emptiness, anger, resentment, and many negative feelings. Hence, at time like this, we tend to shut ourselves from the world. Meeting people seems useless and meaningless for us, since we have to put on a mask of happy face and force some fake smiles. “Instead of saying pretentious greetings, oh, I’d rather be alone; I don’t want to waste my time. This too shall pass, like it always has been; I’ll be stronger once again.” Though we understand that it is just a phase and it will get better in time, we cannot help but keep being tied up with the memories; even though we know it’s useless. “After it passed like a storm, and I opened my eyes again, you’re no longer here, I realize. I believed the way it is, I think I’m such a fool, because now I only have useless memories remain and I live in there.”
We cannot help but feeling helpless; since we keep thinking that we’re going through hard times while our significant other has it easy. We cannot help but having some hopes, though we know that our significant other is not hoping for the same. “Don’t call this as a beautiful farewell, because that’s really selfish, because it makes me expecting something again, but of course you don’t.” The scene of that last heartbreaking goodbye is keep being played inside our head. We miss those moments we spent together, even that last farewell which was striking like a summer storm. We keep wondering whether we can even go back to that time. “On that rainy day, you and I, at the moment when we didn’t say a word at all, there was only awkward silence between you and me, as it pushed us apart from each other, there were only cold expressions. Now, you and I, will we be able to go back again? I’m still longing, even for that last moment, I’m still like that all the same, into the falling rain, into my tears, bring me back to the summer storms with you and I.”
As time goes by, we get used to it all. We live with the depression as we overcome it little by little. And for depressed people, tears are strength instead of weakness. We cry as we realize that we have become a different person from the hardship we’ve been through; tears of relief. We grow through what we go through. And though it remains there deep inside our heart, the memory begins to fade. “Tears fill my eyes from my appearance that becomes stronger little by little; the memories of us are now fading.” We know that our significant other is doing a lot better now without us. Though it hurts, we know that we will get there too someday. We can never go back, yet we have to have no regrets. We are afraid and lost, yet we know we will find our way. Nothing lasts forever, even the summer storm. “I was afraid of not being able to see you in the summer. Tears were falling because I knew I could never bring it back. I was lost wandering on winding paths but now I won’t regret. ‘Cause I heard that you sleep better tonight than the summer storms.”


"My Decade" teaser photo with lead single "Summer Storm" | source: Coridel Entertainment

It’s hard to accept the fact that we are living alone now. And it’s harder to accept the fact that we’re facing those hard times alone while the other is having a better life. We cannot fall asleep while the other sleeps better. It’s excruciating to face a sudden change; yet we have to live with it. The separation is like a storm in the midst of summer that was coming swept away all the good and great things. After the storm has passed, all has disappeared along with the storm itself; only memories left lingering. It leaves us empty and alone. And now we are holding onto those memories though we know it is a useless feeling. And we don’t know until when we are going to do that. And now we miss those moments though we know we can never get it back. And even the last summer storm, we long for that. And in our contemplation of heartbreak, we close ourselves and heart from the universe, since even the universe seems out to harm us. This too will pass; we keep telling ourselves. However, everything still brings us back to that summer storm.

I was afraid of not being able to see you in the summer. Tears were falling because I knew I could never bring it back. I was lost wandering on winding paths but now I won’t regret. ‘Cause I heard that you sleep better tonight than the summer storms.” –Jessica, Summer Storm



가식적인 인사보다는 oh I’d rather be alone 시간낭빈 하지 않을래
(Gashikjeogin insabodaneun, oh I’d rather be alone, shigannangbin haji aneullae)
((Instead of saying pretentious greetings, oh, I’d rather be alone, I don’t want to waste my time))
이것 또한 지나가겠지 그래왔거든 한번 강해지겠지
(Igeot ttohan jinagagetji neul geuraewatgeodeun tto hanbeon ganghaejigetji)
((This too shall pass, like it always has been, I’ll be stronger once again))
아름다운 이별이라 하지 이기적인 거니까 기대하게 되잖아 너는 아니겠지만
(Areumdaun ibyeorira haji ma igijeogin geonikka tto gidaehage doejana neoneun anigetjiman)
((Don’t call this as a beautiful farewell, because that’s really selfish, because it makes me expecting something again, but of course you don’t))

비가 오던 그날 you and I 아무 말도 없던 순간
(Biga odeon geunal you and I amu maldo eobtteon geu sungan)
((On that rainy day, you and I, at the moment when we didn’t say a word at all))
너와 사이에는 어색한 공기만이 우리를 밀어내 차갑던 표정만
(Neowa na saieneun eosaekhan gonggimani urireul mireonae chagapdeon pyojeongman)
((There was only awkward silence between you and me, as it pushed us apart from each other, there were only cold expressions))
이젠 you and I 다시 돌아갈 있을까
(Ijen you and I dashi doragal su isseulkka)
((Now, you and I, will we be able to go back again?))
마지막 그마저도 아직 그리운데 여전히 그래 흐르는 빗속으로 눈물 속으로
(Majimak geumajeodo nan ajik geuriunde yeojeoni geurae nan heureuneun geu bissogeuro nae nunmul sogeuro)
((I’m still longing, even for that last moment, I’m still like that all the same, into the falling rain, into my tears))
Bring me back to the summer storms with you and I

폭풍처럼 지나가고서 다시 눈을 떠보니 you’re no longer here, I realize
(Pokpungcheoreom jinagagoseo dashi nuneul tteoboni, you’re no longer here, I realize)
((After it passed like a storm, and I opened my eyes again, you’re no longer here, I realize))
있는 그대로 믿었던 내가 바보 같아 쓸데없는 미련만 남아있어 기억 속에 묶인
(Inneun geudaero mideotteon naega cham babo gata sseuldeeomneun miryeonman namaisseo gieok soge mukkin chae)
((I believed the way it is, I think I’m such a fool, because now I only have useless memories remain and I live in there))
아름다운 이별이라 하지 이기적인 거니까 기대하게 되잖아 너는 아니겠지만
(Areumdaun ibyeorira haji ma igijeogin geonikka tto gidaehage doejana neoneun anigetjiman)
((Don’t call this as a beautiful farewell, because that’s really selfish, because it makes me expecting something again, but of course you don’t))

비가 오던 그날 you and I 아무 말도 없던 순간
(Biga odeon geunal you and I amu maldo eobtteon geu sungan)
((On that rainy day, you and I, at the moment when we didn’t say a word at all))
너와 사이에는 어색한 공기만이 우리를 밀어내 차갑던 표정만
(Neowa na saieneun eosaekhan gonggimani urireul mireonae chagapdeon pyojeongman)
((There was only awkward silence between you and me, as it pushed us apart from each other, there were only cold expressions))
이젠 you and I 다시 돌아갈 있을까
(Ijen you and I dashi doragal su isseulkka)
((Now, you and I, will we be able to go back again?))
마지막 그마저도 아직 그리운데 여전히 그래 흐르는 빗속
(Majimak geumajeodo nan ajik geuriunde yeojeoni geurae nan heureuneun geu bissok)
((I’m still longing, even for that last moment, I’m still like that all the same, into the falling rain))

이제 조금씩 담담해 지는 모습에 눈물이 고여 우리 둘만의 추억은 기억 속에 희미해져
(Ije jogeumsshik damdamhae jineun nae moseube nunmuri goyeo uri dulmane chueogeun gieok soge himihaejyeo)
((Tears fill my eyes from my appearance that becomes stronger little by little, the memories of us are now fading))

여름 속에 너를 없다는 두려웠었어
(Geu yeoreum soge neoreul bol su eobttaneun ge duryeoweosseosseo)
((I was afraid of not being able to see you in the summer))
돌이킬 없는 알기에 눈물이 났어
(Da dorigil su eomneun geol na jal algie nunmuri nasseo)
((Tears were falling because I knew I could never bring it back))
엇갈린 길을 헤매다 지금의 후회 않겠어
(Eotgallin gireul hemaeda jigeume nan huhoe ankesseo)
((I was lost wandering on winding paths but now I won’t regret))
‘Cause I heard that you sleep better tonight than the summer storms

비가 오던 그날 you and I 아무 말도 없던 순간
(Biga odeon geunal you and I amu maldo eobtteon geu sungan)
((On that rainy day, you and I, at the moment when we didn’t say a word at all))
너와 사이에는 어색한 공기만이 우리를 밀어내 차갑던 표정만
(Neowa na saieneun eosaekhan gonggimani urireul mireonae chagapdeon pyojeongman)
((There was only awkward silence between you and me, as it pushed us apart from each other, there were only cold expressions))
이젠 you and I 다시 돌아갈 있을까
(Ijen you and I dashi doragal su isseulkka)
((Now, you and I, will we be able to go back again?))
마지막 그마저도 아직 그리운데 여전히 그래 흐르는 빗속으로 눈물 속으로
(Majimak geumajeodo nan ajik geuriunde yeojeoni geurae nan heureuneun geu bissogeuro nae nunmul sogeuro)
((I’m still longing, even for that last moment, I’m still like that all the same, into the falling rain, into my tears))
Bring me back to the summer storms with you and I, with you and I
Bring me back to the summer storms with you and I

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