Pillowtalk



Sex is a part of the life. However, (sadly) some society has shaped it into something really taboo to talk about in the public. This (of course) is related to some religion and political issues along the history of the world itself. Sex is then being seen as a private thing that is not suitable to be talked about publicly. However, when the “private” thing is being politicized socially, then that is when it becomes the “public” matters. And the problem lies in whether people are able to open up their mind and free it from the stigma that is saying that sex is taboo thing to talk about. So, why is it important to talk about sex? Sex, as it is a part of human’s life, plays a significant role in the effort of people trying to identify their selves. Sex is a part of self-identity, which makes it important to talk about since identity is a never ending question people ask to themselves. Moreover, when it comes to a relationship that someone builds with somebody else, we cannot exclude sex from it. It is indeed the basic instinct of a human being. And as Freud said, it is the primary ego that drives and affects human’s character and behavior.

Climb on board, we’ll go slow and high tempo. Light and dark, hold me hard and mellow.” –Zayn, Pillowtalk

Out of all things we have and share together, it is one of those things that my partner and I value the most: the pillow talk. It refers to the deep conversation we have and share after sex. And in the time when I miss him the most, I would like to discuss about this one song titled “Pillowtalk”, performed by Zayn Malik, the former member of One Direction. The alternative R n’ B slow jam was released on January 29th 2016 as the singer’s debut single, following his departure from One Direction in 2015. It served as the lead single released from Zayn’s debut solo studio album, “Mind of Mine”, which was released on March 25th 2016. The singer-songwriter co-wrote the track with Anthony Hannides, Michael Hannides, Joe Garrett, and its producer Levi Lennox. Zayn’s real-life partner, Gigi Hadid, was featured in the official accompany music video of “Pillowtalk”. Lyrically, it uses sex as a literal metaphor for the good times and bad times that a couple has in a relationship. It is about two people against the world with their own odds, yet they don’t mind their neighbor for they know that the relationship is between the two of them and no one could meddle in the middle.


"Pillowtalk" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

In a relationship, we do not always have good times. There are always good times and bad times as well. And sex is an over-simplify depiction of a relationship itself. Sometimes we have it soft and slow and all-beautiful. On other times, we have it hard and rough and fast-tempo. Sometimes we are screaming in pleasure, and then we are crying in joy on the other times. Sex brings out the real of us; it frees us from the shackles that have might hold us down forever before. And so does a real relationship. Through the brighter and darker times, we hold on together since we understand that we are genuine only when we are with that person. “Climb on board, we’ll go slow and high tempo. Light and dark, hold me hard and mellow.” Though we argue like enemies, we fight like allies, and that is what makes it worthwhile. Since we know that no matter how ugly it is, we are our genuine self and we are accepted as our genuine self. It’s thrilling yet enchanting; and it’s addictive. “Pillow talk, my enemy, my ally. Prisoners, then we’re free, it’s a thriller.”
In a relationship, we do not always have the pleasure. There are always the pleasure and the pain as well. And sex is an over-simplify depiction of a relationship itself. It brings so much pleasure yet there is some kind of addictive pain we cannot yet fully explain or describe. And though the path is rough and the time is hard, we are keeping it together because we know it is worth it. And we know it is worth it because we have it with our significant other; with that one person who matters the most for us. And there is no one else. And there is only the two of us against the world. “I’m seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure. Nobody but you, ‘body but me, ‘body but us, bodies together. I’d love to hold you close, tonight and always. I’d love to wake up next to you.” Through all of the high emotionally-cost arguments and conversations, in the end of the day, that person is the one we come home to and rest our head. Through all of the emotionally-drained fights, that person is the only one we want to look at first thing in the morning we open our eyes.
In the real relationship where we are becoming and being our genuine self, we strip down our mask and show the ‘real’ us. Like we are stripping down ourselves naked when we have sex, being in the real relationship means we are naked for showing our deepest fear and darkest anxiety towards our significant other. Whether it is tears or laughter, we show it all nonetheless. We are vulnerable in the most possible sincere way a human being can be. And when we feel safe of doing all of it, then that is when we know that it is all worthwhile. “So we’ll piss off the neighbours, in the place that feels the tears, the place to lose your fears. Yeah, reckless behaviour, a place that is so pure, so dirty and raw. Be in the bed all day, fucking in, fighting on. It’s our paradise and it’s our war zone.” It is raw yet pure. It is dirty yet sacred. The sex with our significant other is indeed beyond any sex we have with some random people. The relationship we have and share with our significant other is indeed beyond any other relationship. It is a home we are always craving to come back to.


"Mind of Mine" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Most of the times, bad times we have in a relationship is the thing that makes us realize that the relationship is worthwhile after all, because we learn things and we go through experience that brings us closer together with our significant other. On the other hand, good times we have in the relationship is the thing that makes us feel grateful in the end of the day. When we finally have and share a real and true relationship with our significant other, that person becomes a safe haven. And that is when a person becomes a home; a place that feels the tears, a place to lose our fears. It becomes our paradise as well as a war zone. And no matter how rough the battle and how hard the fight is, we feel comfortably go through it all because we are genuine and sincere; because we are becoming and being the Self. And the ‘pillow talk’; pillow talk is where the deepest story is shared between two souls. It goes beyond two bodies entangled perfectly on a bed. It goes beyond two lips locked fiercely in a desire. And real relationship is mostly defined during the time of pillow talk.

I’m seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure. Nobody but you, ‘body but me, ‘body but us, bodies together. I’d love to hold you close, tonight and always. I’d love to wake up next to you.” –Zayn, Pillowtalk



Climb on board, we’ll go slow and high tempo, light and dark, hold me hard and mellow
I’m seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure, nobody but you, ‘body but me, ‘body but us, bodies together
I’d love to hold you close, tonight and always, I’d love to wake up next to you
I’d love to hold you close, tonight and always, I’d love to wake up next to you

So we’ll piss off the neighbours, in the place that feels the tears, the place to lose your fears
Yeah, reckless behaviour, a place that is so pure, so dirty and raw, be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day, fucking in, fighting on
It’s our paradise and it’s our war zone, it’s our paradise and it’s our war zone

Pillow talk, my enemy, my ally, prisoners, then we’re free, it’s a thriller
I’m seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure, nobody but you, ‘body but me, ‘body but us, bodies together
I’d love to hold you close, tonight and always, I’d love to wake up next to you

So we’ll piss off the neighbours, in the place that feels the tears, the place to lose your fears
Yeah, reckless behaviour, a place that is so pure, so dirty and raw, be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day, fucking in, fighting on
It’s our paradise and it’s our war zone, it’s our paradise and it’s our war zone
Paradise, paradise, paradise, paradise, war zone, war zone, war zone, war zone
Paradise, paradise, paradise, paradise, war zone, war zone, war zone, war zone

So we’ll piss off the neighbours, in the place that feels the tears, the place to lose your fears
Yeah, reckless behaviour, a place that is so pure, so dirty and raw, be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day, fucking in, fighting on
It’s our paradise and it’s our war zone, it’s our paradise and it’s our war zone

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