Me Without You



Nothing hurts like losing the love of our life. Nothing hurts like being separated from our significant other when all we want is for them to stay beside us. Nothing hurts like having to let go of our significant other when all we need is being together with them. It feels like the sun has stopped shining. It is still the same place and we still meet the same people. However, we are just not there anymore. We have lost our soul. That same place feels emptier and those same people seem blurry. It is the same life yet it gives a hundred and eighty degree of a different vibe. And yes, this universe does work in a funny way. Sometimes two destined people who belong together keep on being separated all over again. It was like that six years ago. It is like that too two months ago. Some other times, no matter how many times those two fated people have been separated from each other, they eventually find their way back to one another. It was like that two years ago. It is like that too now. We have felt the pain of losing the love of our life. We have known the pain of being separated from the one we cherish the most. We have understood the pain of letting go the one we hold most dear. Since we remember all of the pain, when they are back, we won’t lose them anymore. Hence when they find their way back to us, we won’t let go anymore. And there won’t be any farewell anymore. There won’t be any goodbye being said anymore.

Am I allowed to keep on loving you? Am I allowed to stay living by your side? The faith of destiny is holding our love together.” –N & Yeo Eun, Without You (니가 없는 )

Opening the new month of August, this morning started with a heartwarming chat between me and my significant other. We both long for each other so much. However, we face it well with the faith that we are together eventually, and everything will be so wonderful when we meet. After the chat, I write this piece to commemorate my longing feeling. This is a song titled “Without You (니가 없는 )”, performed by the main vocalist of boy-group VIXX, N, in a duet with the member of Melody Day, Yeo Eun. This beautiful ballad duet was served as a soundtrack for the popular 2016 drama series, “W”, or also well-known as “Two Worlds”. It was released on September 7th 2016 as the single album “W OST Part 9”. Lyrically, the song depicts the feeling of two lead characters in the drama series, Kang Chul (portrayed by Lee Jong Suk) and Oh Yeon Joo (portrayed by Han Hyo Joo), when the two had to be separated because some return of events in the storyline. Apparently, even the two had separated, the destiny brought them together again since they were belong to be with each other since the beginning.


"W OST Part 9" single album cover | source: wiki.d-addicts.com

There are times when two destined people are being separated from each other. There are abundant reasons why, yet it only takes one reason to put them together again. It is the destiny itself. However, as they have tasted the bitterness of separation before, they will have some doubts whether they can continue to love each other; whether they can live by one another’s side. “Am I allowed to keep on loving you? Am I allowed to stay living by your side? The faith of destiny is holding our love together. Every day, I draw you out and cry. I keep looking for you and wander around. Today, I’m waiting for you again.” The pain of separation still lingers vividly in our mind. Every day is full of wrenching tears as we picture that person in our wrecked heart. We wander around like a crazy person who runs away from a mental hospital; searching for the shadow we cannot reach. We wait and keep waiting. “Every day, I think of you. I keep looking for you again, crying while wandering around. One more time, I’m waiting for you again.”
There are times when two fated people have to let go of each other. There are abundant reasons why, yet it only takes one reason to bring them together again. It is the fate itself. They have swallowed the suffocating separation. Therefore they make a promise towards themselves to never lose that person again, to never let that person go again, and to never leave that person again. And no matter what happens, they promise to never say goodbye again. “Without you, actually I cannot do anything, so I just keep crying. Right now, my days without you are the days without meaning. I won’t ever lose you again, I won’t ever let you go again.” The pain of separation has made us understand how we would be without that person. We are not able to do anything. We keep shedding tears. We are devastated. “I won’t ever leave you again.” Every day spent without that person is a meaningless day. Everything feels meaningless. Everything seems meaningless. Everything is indeed meaningless without that person. “Let’s never ever say goodbye again.”
There are times when two people who belong together have to bid farewell towards each other. There are abundant reasons why, yet it only takes one reason to make them find their way back to one another again. It is the fact that they do belong together itself. “Without you, actually I cannot do anything; that is just the way I am. Right now, my days without you are the days without meaning. I won’t ever lose you again. I won’t ever let you go again. Let’s never say goodbye again.” Since they have understood it all too well the excruciating feeling of separation, they make a promise towards themselves to never bid a farewell again. In order to do that, they are willing to fight harder and give everything. They are willing to afford anything and risk it all. They are willing to go all-in. The pain of separation has made them understand it all too well how they would be without each other. They won’t be able to reach the point where they’re at right now if they’re not together. They won’t be able to go on if they don’t have one another. That is just what destiny is. That is just what fate is. That is just what love is; it takes two.


The heart-wrenching rooftop scene where Kang Chul (portrayed by Lee Jong Suk) and Oh Yeon Joo (portrayed by Han Hyo Joo) decide to part ways though they deeply in love with each other | source: MBC

Nothing hurts like being separated from our significant other when all we want is for them to stay beside us. Nothing hurts like right now. The longing feeling is unbearable. The anxiety is devastating. The loneliness is excruciating. After he left, I’m literally losing grip. The morning is colder than ever. The night is killing me. The day goes by meaninglessly. That is just the way I am without him. I felt similar feeling six years ago when he was breaking up with me for the first time; when we had not even started anything back then. However, this feeling I have currently is somehow worse than back then. I know I have him. I understand that he always got my back. It is just the fact that he does not present by my side anymore; it feels like hell. I wait and wait and keep on waiting until the day we can be together again; until I can meet him again. And this waiting is wrenching my heart. I cannot do anything since it all seems meaningless without him. That is just the way I am. It is just the faith that it all will be alright because we will be together again; that is what keeps me alive. That is what gives me reason and spirit to go on. That is what love is.

Without you, actually I cannot do anything; that is just the way I am. Right now, my days without you are the days without meaning. I won’t ever lose you again. I won’t ever let you go again. Let’s never say goodbye again.” –N & Yeo Eun, Without You (니가 없는 )




너를 계속 사랑해도 되는지 너의 곁에 살아가도 되는지
(Neoreul gyesok saranghaedo doeneunji na neoui gyeote saragado doeneunji)
((Am I allowed to keep on loving you? Am I allowed to stay living by your side?))
운명 이란 믿음이 우리 사랑을 붙들고
(Unmyeong iran mideumi uri sarangeul butdeulgo)
((The faith of destiny is holding our love together))
매일매일 너를 그리며 울고 너를 다시 찾아 헤매도 보고
(Maeilmaeil neoreul geurimyeo ulgo neoreul dasi chaja hemaedo bogo)
((Every day, I draw you out and cry, I keep looking for you and wander around))
오늘도 너를 기다려 본다
(Oneuldo neoreul gidaryeo bonda)
((Today, I’m waiting for you again))

네가 없는 아무것도 없단 사실에 다시 울고
(Nega eopsneun nan amugeosdo hal su eopsdan sasire dasi ulgo)
((Without you, actually I cannot do anything, so I just keep crying))
이젠 네가 없는 하루하루 의미 없는 하루하루
(Ijen nega eopsneun haruharu uimi eopsneun haruharu)
((Right now, my days without you are the days without meaning))
다시는 놓지 않을게 다시는 보내지 않을게
(Na dasineun neol nohji anheulge dasineun bonaeji anheulge)
((I won’t ever lose you again, I won’t ever let you go again))

매일매일 너를 떠올려 보고 너를 다시 찾아 헤매며 울고
(Maeilmaeil neoreul tteoollyeo bogo neoreul dasi chaja hemaemyeo ulgo)
((Every day, I think of you, I keep looking for you again, crying while wandering around))
다시 너를 기다려 본다
(Dasi tto neoreul gidaryeo bonda)
((One more time, I’m waiting for you again))

네가 없는 아무것도 없단 사실에 다시 울고
(Nega eopsneun nan amugeosdo hal su eopsdan sasire dasi ulgo)
((Without you, actually I cannot do anything, so I just keep crying))
이젠 네가 없는 하루하루 의미 없는 하루하루
(Ijen nega eopsneun haruharu uimi eopsneun haruharu)
((Right now, my days without you are the days without meaning))
다시는 놓지 않을게 다시는 떠나지 않을게
(Na dasineun neol nohji anheulge dasineun tteonaji anheulge)
((I won’t ever lose you again, I won’t ever leave you again))

우리 이제 다신 우리 이제 다신 헤어지지는 말자
(Uri ije dasin uri ije dasin heeojijineun malja)
((Now, us, now, us, let’s never ever say goodbye again))

네가 없는 아무것도 없어 그게 나야
(Nega eopsneun nan amugeosdo hal su eopseo geuge naya)
((Without you, actually I cannot do anything, that is just the way I am))
이젠 네가 없는 하루하루 의미 없는 하루하루
(Ijen nega eopsneun haruharu uimi eopsneun haruharu)
((Right now, my days without you are the days without meaning))
다시는 놓지 않을게 다시는 보내지 않을게
(Na dasineun neol nohji anheulge dasineun bonaeji anheulge)
((I won’t ever lose you again, I won’t ever let you go again))
다시는 헤어지지 말자
(Dasineun heeojiji malja)
((Let’s never say goodbye again))

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