Hysteria



Everyone has this kind of beast inside them. It is the one that controls our deepest yet primitive emotions such as rage, anger, resentment, and disappointment. Moreover, it controls our primary instinct as a human being according to Freud: libido. Freud believed that when this libido is being repressed, in some way and to some extent it will twist the mind and turn them into something that our society defines as abnormal. Apparently, Jean-Paul Sartre agreed to it with his views toward sadistic and masochism. (However, I’m not going to talk further about Freud or Sartre. You can read their books or papers. It’s all over the internet.) When this “beast” keeps on being repressed inside of us, it will make hysteria. Hence, in my humble opinion, it is okay to sometimes let the beast out. It is not that I legitimize people for behaving bad. It is that I suggest people to relieve their stress instead. In order to love ourselves, we need to embrace and accept every part of it; even the beast too. For once we are able to love ourselves, and then we can love someone else properly.

I want it now, give me your heart and your soul. I’m not breaking down, I’m breaking out; last chance to lose control.” –Muse, Hysteria

Whenever I feel depressed, rock songs always work the best for me. And this time I’m in the mood of writing about this song titled “Hysteria”, performed by the English alternative rock band, Muse. It was released on December 1st 2003 as the third single taken from the band’s third studio album, “Absolution”. The alternative hard rock track was written by all members of the band; Matt Bellamy, Chris Wolstenholme, and Dominic Howard. The official accompany music video of “Hysteria” was directed by Matt Kirby and featured actor Justin Theroux. Lyrically, “Hysteria” speaks about self-understanding and self-acceptance; that the Self has this kind of beastly side inside of them that is needed to be unleashed once in a while in order to keep the sanity of the Self. It is related to desire, lust, and obsessive love.


"Hysteria" CD single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Obsessive love is indeed dangerous, since most of the time we cannot even differentiate between whether it is really love or just a lust. And if we realize that it turns out to be just a lust, it is alright too. We should not be ashamed to admit it. We are human and it is natural for us to have desire towards someone we are interested with. It is driving us crazy just thinking about having them inside of us. It is bugging us, grating us, and twisting us around just thinking about spending some good time with them. It is caving us in endlessly and turning us inside out in the deepest of desire to be with them. “It’s bugging me, grating me, and twisting me around. Yeah I’m endlessly caving in and turning inside out.” It is like an ecstasy we cannot control. It is like an addictive drug we are always craving for. It is holding us, morphing us, and forcing us to keep on imagining about them. And we won’t feel alive until we got it. “Yeah it’s holding me, morphing me and forcing me to strive to be endlessly cold within and dreaming I'm alive.”
Obsessive love is indeed intoxicating, since most of the time when it is unrequited, it will feel unbearably painful. The worst case scenario is that we can be so abusive towards ourselves. When we cannot get what we want right at the moment when we want it, it would turn the beast into the wild and uncontrollable one. Unleashing the beast does not mean that we are breaking down or cracking apart. On the other hand, unleashing the beast means we are breaking out of the repression in which built by our own selves (most of the time) and the society too. Since we understand that something worse could happen if we don’t unleash the beast and just keep it inside the cage like we always do. This beast demands heart and soul; not to torture them, but to comfort them instead. And all it needs is a chance. “‘Cause I want it now, I want it now, give me your heart and your soul. And I’m breaking out, I’m breaking out; last chance to lose control. I’m not breaking down, I’m breaking out; last chance to lose control.”
Obsessive love will make our heart implodes when it does not go into the proper expression. And even though every time we try to unleash the beast we feel like escaping from reality, it would save us from a more dangerous delusion and illusion. And even though every time we try to let the beast out we feel like our faith is being eroded, it would keep us sane. “And I want you now, I want you now, I’ll feel my heart implode. And I’m breaking out, escaping now, feeling my faith erode.” And when we realize that this obsessive love turns out to be just a lust, it does not mean that it is less meaningful than the pure love itself. Sex is a part of everyone’s life. And in my humble opinion, we cannot have feelings toward someone else without a sexual interest towards that person too. We cannot have a relationship with someone significant without the desire to have sexual experience with that person. And it does not matter whether we are a man or a woman; it’s all the same. Holding it in will only make things worse.


"Hysteria" DVD single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

A repressed desire will make hysteria inside of us. I feel it so many times. I feel it often. Hence I can say a lot about this kind of thing. There are times when I want it so much yet I cannot get it at the moment, and it is just driving me insane. Sometimes it does not have a thing to do with love at all. Most of the times, I just feel that I need to have it with my significant other. And when I cannot get it, I will be so enrage towards the situation. And it will make me feel so desperate, since I cannot vent out my anger towards something real and physical. There are times when I find myself has this need to let out the beast inside of me; when I want to just break out and lose control. And when I cannot do that, I feel like my heart is going to explode. And I begin to feel cold, lost, empty, and hollow. And it will make me feel so heartbroken and devastatingly sad. That is when I begin to hurt myself in order to make me forget the pain. And it is unhealthy. Hence I understand that I need to unleash my beast once in a while. I’m just a human after all.

And I want you now, I want you now, I’ll feel my heart implode. And I’m breaking out, escaping now, feeling my faith erode.” –Muse, Hysteria





It’s bugging me, grating me, and twisting me around
Yeah I’m endlessly caving in and turning inside out

‘Cause I want it now, I want it now, give me your heart and your soul
And I’m breaking out, I’m breaking out, last chance to lose control

Yeah it’s holding me, morphing me and forcing me to strive
To be endlessly cold within and dreaming I'm alive

‘Cause I want it now, I want it now, give me your heart and your soul
I’m not breaking down, I’m breaking out, last chance to lose control

And I want you now, I want you now, I’ll feel my heart implode
And I’m breaking out, escaping now, feeling my faith erode

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