In the Illusion

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Love of the two different worlds; it seems like a very fictional idea, right? It does sound like can only happen in the world of fantasy, where two people from two different worlds can fall in love with each other and are entangled in a story of romance. However, some real-life love stories can feel like a fiction. In this life, there can be more than just one world, indeed; since a person is living a world of their own. And whenever they meet other person, then there are two worlds entangled. Moreover, it does feel like two different worlds when we and our significant other are coming from a different historical background, or social class, or economical class. I always wonder how it feels to be in love with someone who came from that different world; a world that is different from mine. Yet I never guessed that someday (which is currently) I would be entangled in that kind of love; love that is like an illusion. I always wonder how it feels to dream a person whom you want to love into life. Yet I never thought that someday (which is currently) I would meet that person and fall in love with him; a person who is like a fantasy. It feels like a dream. He is real and this is all real, yet I feel like I’m living in a dream; a very beautiful yet dangerous dream.

“You’re like a strong perfume that has covered up my life; your scent has moved me. You’re so close yet so far. You’re that I love; you took it and threw it away.” –Basick & INKII, In the Illusion (환상 속의 그대)

This one song has been captured my heart since the first time I heard it. After understanding the meaning of the lyrics, I cannot help but getting more in love with this song. It’s a Korean rock hip-hop track titled “In the Illusion (환상 속의 그대)”, performed by rapper Basick and female vocalist INKII. This song was served as an original soundtrack of 2016 MBC’s drama hit series, “W”, or also well-known as “Two Worlds”. “In the Illusion (환상 속의 그대)” was released as “W OST Part 3” single album on August 11th 2016. The English translation of the title is also known as “You in the Fantasy”. Lyrically, the song depicts the tragic love story between two main characters of the drama series, Kang Chul (portrayed by Lee Jong Suk) and Oh Yeon Joo (portrayed by Han Hyo Joo). Kang Chul was a manhwa (Korean comic book) character who met and fell in love with Oh Yeon Joo, a human who lived in the real-life. As depicted in the song’s lyrics, they had meetings and separations for so many times. However, the feeling was too deep to let go. Though they came from two different worlds, their worlds collided through the entangled fate. And in the name of love, they struggled to be together in the end, no matter how rough the path they had to walk on.
"W OST Part 3" single album cover | source: wiki.d-addicts.com

Falling in love with someone who came from our fantasy is like a dream. We couldn’t believe that it’s real in the beginning. It’s devastatingly exciting us. “The person whom I fall for, is it really you? The self who wants you, is that really me? Even in this moment when we are holding hands, there’s no feeling of assurance to warmly wrap around us. The burning warmth only leaves the smoke behind, and the smoke rises without strength. I try swallowing my excitement, but the more I try to push it down, a trap wraps around my neck. I can’t see the end but my feet keep going towards you again.” It’s too good to be true. However, we keep coming back for more. And we keep going back and forth since there are times when it feels unreachable. It’s there but doesn’t feel like it’s there. “You cover me; one more layer. The more I get to know you, the stronger the storm gets. Even the boast that I yelled out is all empty. If the goal is you, it’s not an empty boast anymore, but I can’t catch you. No matter how much I empty out, I can’t fill myself with you. There’s only one thing I want, that you’re not a fantasy, no. Even if you are a fantasy, it’ll still be the same for me.”
Falling in love with someone who came from our dream is like an illusion. Though we couldn’t believe it, we can’t just stop it. It’s excitingly trapping us. “It’s impossible to stop now. Even this moment when I’m getting far from you again; it’s crueler than anything I can imagine. I need to raise the glass of goodbye some day, but I can’t raise it yet. I can’t cry yet, because our puzzle hasn’t been completed yet. If only I could be a monster and swallow up everything. Please, if only I could.” We know that the distance of the world would separate us one day, but we can’t just let go. This is all too real to be just a dream. That person has become the poison as well as the cure. We can’t live with it yet we can’t live without it. In the end, it doesn’t even matter. We’re in love and that’s all we know. “I can’t catch you, no, maybe I already have you. I clearly saw you, felt you, touched you. Through you, who came into me, I’m locked up from head to toe. Actually, it’s hard to even breathe, but I can’t go on without you. Even those struggles whether it’s a dream or reality, I don’t care anymore. Wherever I go, I’m with you. I don’t need anything else but you.”
Falling in love with someone who came from our illusion is like an imagination. Though it seems so out of reach, all of our senses tell the opposite. Though our brain tells us that it will be difficult, our heart won’t admit what our head already know. Though our rationality tells the opposite, our feeling keeps on going toward it. “You’re like a strong perfume that has covered up my life; your scent has moved me. You’re so close yet so far. You’re that I love; you took it and threw it away.” This love is like an endless path. And we keep wondering why we can’t be together, because the feeling is so strong, so there must be a way. No matter how many times it’s going back to the starting point again, we keep on struggling and giving all of our efforts, because the feeling is so deep, so there must be a way somehow. “My imagination creates you. And when I see you, I imagine again on this endless path. We’re dreaming the same dream, but why can’t we be together? When can it be the same? Like thick wine, even if it gets deeper red, in the end it’s going back to the first page. I drink but I’m not getting drunk. You’re that I love, I have swallowed you.”
Lee Jong Suk and Han Hyo Joo in the "W" drama series portraying Kang Chul and Oh Yeon Joo respectively | source: MBC

Imagine if one day, a person whom you always dream of is appearing right in front of you; so real yet feels like a dream. Then you are in love with that person, and they love you back; so real yet feels like a fantasy. Then you are being together, but then some day that person has to leave for another world far away from yours; so real yet feels like an illusion. Then you are left alone feeling like being trapped between reality and illusion. That person feels so close yet so far. At the same time, that person feels so far yet so close. You keep going back and forth whether to believe or not. It’s all too real to be just a dream yet it’s all too good to be true. When that person is close, somehow you always feel like they are fading away. When that person is far, somehow you always feel like they embrace you with their scent. You cannot stop but struggling and fighting for what your heart believe is real. And in the end, it doesn’t even matter whether it’s just an illusion or not, because you know you’re in love; and you know that the feeling is real. And you believe that two worlds can become one; it just takes one person who is willing and able to take a step forward.

“My imagination creates you. And when I see you, I imagine again on this endless path. We’re dreaming the same dream, but why can’t we be together? When can it be the same?” –Basick & INKII, In the Illusion (환상 속의 그대)



내가 빠져버린 존재가 진정 너이긴 한 건지 너를 원하는 내 모습이 진짜 나인 건지
(Naega ppajyeobeorin jonjaega jinjeong neoigin han geonji neoreul wonhaneun nae moseubi jinjja nain geonji)
((The person whom I fall for, is it really you? The self who wants you, is that really me?))
둘이 같이 손을 잡고 있는 이 순간에도 우릴 따뜻하게 감쌀 맘의 안도감 따윈 없지
(Duri gati soneul japgo issneun i sunganedo uril ttatteushage gamssal mamui andogam ttawin eopsji)
((Even in this moment when we are holding hands, there’s no feeling of assurance to warmly wrap around us))
타는듯한 뜨거움은 연기만을 남기고 연기는 또 힘없이 날아올라 붕 뜬 가슴을 삼키고
(Taneundeushan tteugeoumeun yeongimaneul namgigo yeongineun tto himeopsi naraolla bung tteun gaseumeul samkigo)
((The burning warmth only leaves the smoke behind, and the smoke rises without strength, I try swallowing my excitement, but the more I try to push it down))
누르려 하면 할수록 목은 올가미에 감기고 끝이 안 보여도 발걸음은 네게로 향하지 또
(Nureuryeo hamyeon halsurok mogeun olgamie gamgigo kkeuti an boyeodo balgeoreumeun negero hyanghaji tto)
((A trap wraps around my neck, I can’t see the end but my feet keep going towards you again))
날 덮은 너 한 꺼풀 더 널 알아갈수록 거세져 폭풍도 가끔 세상을 향해 외쳤던 허풍도
(Nal deopeun neo han kkeopul deo neol aragalsurok geosejyeo pokpungdo gakkeum sesangeul hyanghae oechyeossdeon heopungdo)
((You cover me, one more layer, the more I get to know you, the stronger the storm gets, even the boast that I yelled out is all empty))
목표가 너라면 그건 더이상 허풍이 아냐 근데 넌 잡을 수가 없어
(Mokpyoga neoramyeon geugeon deoisang heopungi anya geunde neon jabeul suga eopseo)
((If the goal is you, it’s not an empty boast anymore, but I can’t catch you))
아무리 비워내도 널 담을 수가 없어
(Amuri biwonaedo neol dameul suga eopseo)
((No matter how much I empty out, I can’t fill myself with you))
내가 바라는 건 한 가지야 네가 환상이 아니었음 아니 환상이라면 나 또한 마찬가지야
(Naega baraneun geon han gajiya nega hwansangi anieosseum ani hwansangiramyeon na ttohan machangajiya)
((There’s only one thing I want, that you’re not a fantasy, no, even if you are a fantasy, it’ll still be the same for me))

독한 향수야 넌 내 삶을 덮어버렸어 네 향기가 날 움직여
(Dokhan hyangsuya neon nae salmeul deopeobeoryeosseo ne hyanggiga nal umjigyeo)
((You’re like a strong perfume that has covered up my life, your scent has moved me))
잡힐 듯 안 잡히는 널 사랑하는 널 가져버렸어
(Japhil deut an japhineun neol saranghaneun neol gajyeobeoryeosseo)
((You’re so close yet so far, you’re that I love, you took it and threw it away))

이제 와서 멈추는 건 불가능하지 너와 다시 멀어지는 이 순간은 마치
(Ije waseo meomchuneun geon bulganeunghaji neowa dasi meoreojineun i sunganeun machi)
((It’s impossible to stop now, even this moment when I’m getting far from you again))
상상할 수 있는 무엇보다 더 잔인하지 언젠간 들어야 할 작별의 잔은 아직 들 수가 없어
(Sangsanghal su issneun mueosboda deo janinhaji eonjengan deureoya hal jakbyeorui janeun ajik
deul suga eopseo)
((It’s crueler than anything I can imagine, I need to raise the glass of goodbye some day, but I can’t raise it yet))
난 아직 울 수가 없어 우리 둘의 퍼즐을 아직 완성한 적이 없어서
(Nan ajik ul suga eopseo uri durui peojeureul ajik wanseonghan jeogi eopseoseo)
((I can’t cry yet, because our puzzle hasn’t been completed yet))
차라리 내가 괴물이 돼 모든 걸 집어삼킬 수만 있다면. 제발 그럴 수만 있다면
(Charari naega goemuri dwae modeun geol jibeosamkil suman issdamyeon jebal geureol suman issdamyeon)
((If only I could be a monster and swallow up everything, please, if only I could))
잡히지 않는 너 아니 어쩌면 벌써 널 가졌지 난 널 분명히 보고 느끼고 또 만졌지
(Japhiji anhneun neo ani eojjeomyeon beolsseo neol gajyeossji nan neol bunmyeonghi bogo neukkigo tto manjyeossji)
((I can’t catch you, no, maybe I already have you, I clearly saw you, felt you, touched you))
내게 스며든 너로 인해 난 발끝부터 머리까지 잠겼지 사실 힘들어 이젠 숨쉬기조차
(Naege seumyeodeun neoro inhae nan balkkeutbuteo meorikkaji jamgyeossji sasil himdeureo ijen sumswigijocha)
((Through you, who came into me, I’m locked up from head to toe, actually, it’s hard to even breathe))
근데 네가 없으면 못 해 그 힘든 것조차 이게 꿈이든 현실이든 더이상 상관없어
(Geunde nega eopseumyeon mot hae geu himdeun geosjocha ige kkumideun hyeonsirideun deoisang sanggwaneopseo)
((But I can’t go on without you, even those struggles whether it’s a dream or reality, I don’t care anymore))
어디든 너와 함께 다 필요 없어 너밖에
(Eodideun neowa hamkke da piryo eopseo neobakke)
((Wherever I go, I’m with you, I don’t need anything else but you))

독한 향수야 넌 내 삶을 덮어버렸어 네 향기가 날 움직여
(Dokhan hyangsuya neon nae salmeul deopeobeoryeosseo ne hyanggiga nal umjigyeo)
((You’re like a strong perfume that has covered up my life, your scent has moved me))
잡힐 듯 안 잡히는 널 사랑하는 널 가져버렸어
(Japhil deut an japhineun neol saranghaneun neol gajyeobeoryeosseo)
((You’re so close yet so far, you’re that I love, you took it and threw it away))

상상이 널 만들고 널 보면 또 상상해 끝을 알 수 없는 이 길엔
(Sangsangi neol mandeulgo neol bomyeon tto sangsanghae kkeuteul al su eopsneun i giren)
((My imagination creates you, and when I see you, I imagine again on this endless path))
같은 꿈을 꾸는데 왜 함께할 순 없는지 언제쯤 같을 수 있을까
(Gateun kkumeul kkuneunde wae hamkkehal sun eopsneunji eonjejjeum gateul su isseulkka)
((We’re dreaming the same dream, but why can’t we be together? When can it be the same?))

짙은 와인처럼 더 붉게 물들어가도 결국엔 첫 page로
(Jiteun waincheoreom deo bulkge muldeureogado gyeolgugen cheot pagero)
((Like thick wine, even if it gets deeper red, in the end, it’s going back to the first page))
마셔도 취하질 않아 사랑하는 널 삼켜버렸어
(Masyeodo chwihajil anha saranghaneun neol samkyeobeoryeosseo)
((I drink but I’m not getting drunk, you’re that I love, I have swallowed you))

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