Fragments
There are times when I feel tired of being strong and acting tough.
There are
times when I got sick of putting on a smile and playing like everything was
fine.
At time
like that I just want to scream out loud that I’m exhausted, and I’m lonely, and
I’m missing you like crazy.
At time
like that I just want to cry out loud that it’s all so hard without you here,
and that I’m crooked, and I’m bloody longing for you.
I’m all
weak and I need you.
I’m cursing
the universe as I wander alone along the road like a crazy woman who runs away
from a mental hospital.
All I ever
wanted is warmly hugging you and resting my head on your arms, or at least
hearing your sweet voice and laughing together through the phone call since we
are far apart; but all that comes out is my wacky annoying side that upsets you.
And I can’t even say sorry because I despise
this situation so much; because I despise this current ugly self of mine.
This is
such a beautiful bright day, but my heart is so dark from missing you.
And I’m feeling
so down.
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