There are times when I feel tired of being strong and acting tough.
There are times when I got sick of putting on a smile and playing like everything was fine.
At time like that I just want to scream out loud that I’m exhausted, and I’m lonely, and I’m missing you like crazy.
At time like that I just want to cry out loud that it’s all so hard without you here, and that I’m crooked, and I’m bloody longing for you.
I’m all weak and I need you.
I’m cursing the universe as I wander alone along the road like a crazy woman who runs away from a mental hospital.
All I ever wanted is warmly hugging you and resting my head on your arms, or at least hearing your sweet voice and laughing together through the phone call since we are far apart; but all that comes out is my wacky annoying side that upsets you.
And I can’t even say sorry because I despise this situation so much; because I despise this current ugly self of mine.
This is such a beautiful bright day, but my heart is so dark from missing you.
And I’m feeling so down.



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