Cry Me A River
In a relationship, honesty is a thing that I value the most. We have to admit that as a human being, we are far from perfection and we all have our own lack of something. However, the thing about building a relationship with our significant other is giving up our trust for that person, which means we are willing to tell and show all of our lacks to them. Hence for me personally, being honest is very important in a relationship. And it is including being honest about all of our lacks and imperfection. Human makes mistakes; just be brave and admit it. Human can do things wrong; just be bold and apologize for it. In my humble opinion, no matter how great our mistake is, as long as we are brave and bold to admit it, say the truth, and being honest about it, then it is what it counts. As a human, we must have the integrity. And when we cannot be honest about what we have done wrong, then where is our integrity? When we cannot tell the truth to our significant other, then what is left there to be valued from the relationship? When mistakes are done, the trust is broken. And when there is no honesty in the broken trust, there is nothing left to hold on to in the relationship.
“You don’t have to say what you
did. I already know, I found out from him. Now there’s just no chance, for you
and me. There’ll never be, and don’t it make you sad about it.” –Justin
Timberlake, Cry Me A River
The song I would like
to discuss today is titled “Cry Me A River”, performed by American singer-songwriter,
Justin Timberlake. The R n’ B track was released on November 25th 2002 as
second single taken from the former NSYNC member’s solo debut studio album, “Justified”.
The breakup song was written by Timberlake himself along with Timothy Mosley
(famously known as Timbaland), and Scott Storch. Timbaland also sang the rap
part in this song. “Cry Me A River” is famous for being inspired by Timberlake’s
former relationship with Britney Spears. An accompany music video, directed by
Francis Lawrence, released on April 28th 2003. Lauren Hastings was starred in the music video as Timberlake's Spears-look-a-like ex-girlfriend. Lyrically, “Cry Me A River” is
about a brokenhearted man who moves on from his past after a haunted and pained
farewell. It depicts how the pain from infidelity could turn affection into
resentment.
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| "Cry Me A River" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org |
Relationship is built on a series of contestation, negotiation, and consensus between two people who are entangled in it. Every decision we make should not be a one-sided decision. Every choice we choose should not be a one-sided choice. Everything we do and make for the relationship should be based on discussion between us and our partner. If we do something without our partner knows it, then we break their trust; and vice versa. Moreover, when that something is a thing that could harm the relationship and break our partner’s heart, the trust is broken. “You were my sun, you were my earth, but you didn’t know all the ways I loved you, no. So you took a chance and made other plans, but I bet you didn’t think that they would come crashing down, no.” Rather than keeping secret without the intention of really keeping it well, in my humble opinion it is better to tell the brutal honesty about the mistake we have made. Though some things are better left unsaid, this kind of mistake is definitely not one of those things.
“I know that they say that some things are better
left unsaid. It wasn’t like you only talked to him and you know it; don’t act
like you don’t know it. All of these things people told me keep messing with my
head. You should’ve picked honesty then you may not have blown it.” Rather than keeping secret and our
partner finds it out later somehow from other people, in my humble opinion it
is better to lay the ugly truth on the table. Being heartbroken by our partner’s
mistake is one thing, but being betrayed and lied to is another thing. “You don’t have to say what you did. I already
know, I found out from him. Now there’s just no chance, for you and me. There’ll
never be, and don’t it make you sad about it.” If our partner tells us that
they have made mistake, then we are hurt by the mistake. However, when we find
out that our partner did wrong thing and they lied about it, we are hurt by the
mistake and also the lie. Hence we will feel betrayed. And that is the worst
feeling ever. Love hurts, indeed; but being hurt by a betrayal is something
else.
“You told me you loved me, why did you leave
me, all alone. Now you tell me you need me when you call me, on the phone. Girl
I refuse, you must have me confused with some other guy. Your bridges were burned,
and now it’s your turn to cry; cry me a river.” From my point of view, when honesty is not
there, then what is it to hold on to in the relationship? The relationship has
lost its value and meanings. The bridges were burned down. And when it happens,
then there is nothing left to do than walking out of the relationship. The trust
has been broken and the relationship has been damaged; with all of its values
and meanings. Moreover, there is no respect left there when there is no
honesty. “The damage is done, so I guess
I be leaving.” The sense of betrayal, broken trust, no honesty and no
respect will burn all the feeling; while feeling is the last thing that could
keep the relationship altogether. The pain will turn the deep and sincere love into
resentment. The betrayal has corrupted the love. “Go on and just cry me a river.”
 |
| "Justified" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org |
The mistake, particularly in here I am talking about infidelity, is a form of betrayal when it is done without the consent of our partner. Well, I can say that it is the worst feeling because I have been there and done that. Finding out by yourself that your partner is having an affair is the worst part. And do you know what is worse than the worst part? It is when you realize that apparently you are never healed from the pain so that you become the same monster as your partner: you do the same thing just to make it even. Hence I can say that I value honesty the most in a relationship. Based on those experiences I have been through, I can say that it is better to hear it directly from our partner that they cheat on us rather than find it out by ourselves. As the relationship goes, the contestation and negotiation are conducted, the meaning of infidelity itself is shifting. And we make our own consensus regarding to it. And that is only possible to happen when there is bravery to be honest and spill the brutal truth. And in that situation, there is still something to hold on to in the relationship. There is still value and meanings that we can build. There is still reason to go on.
“You told me you loved me, why did
you leave me, all alone. Now you tell me you need me when you call me, on the
phone. Girl I refuse, you must have me confused with some other guy. Your
bridges were burned, and now it’s your turn to cry; cry me a river.” –Justin
Timberlake, Cry Me A River
You were my sun, you
were my earth, but you didn’t know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
and made other plans, but I bet you didn’t think that they would come crashing
down, no
You don’t have to say,
what you did, I already know, I found out from him
Now there’s just no
chance, for you and me, there’ll never be, and don’t it make you sad about it
You told me you loved
me, why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you
need me when you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you
must have me confused with some other guy
Your bridges were burned,
and now it’s your turn to cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river, cry me
a river, cry me a river, yea yea
I know that they say that
some things are better left unsaid
It wasn’t like you only
talked to him and you know it (don’t act like you don’t know it)
All of these things
people told me keep messing with my head (messing with my head)
You should’ve picked
honesty then you may not have blown it (yea)
You don’t have to say,
what you did, I already know, I found out from him
Now there’s just no
chance, for you and me, there’ll never be, and don’t it make you sad about it
You told me you loved
me, why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you
need me when you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you
must have me confused with some other guy
Your bridges were burned,
and now it’s your turn to cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river, cry me
a river, cry me a river, yea yea
(Go on and just) cry
me a river (go on and just) cry me a river (baby go on and just) cry me a river
Oh, the damage is done, so I guess I be leaving
Oh, the damage is
done, so I guess I be leaving
Oh, the damage is
done, so I guess I be leaving
Oh, the damage is
done, so I guess I be leaving
You don’t have to say, what you did, I already know, I found out from him
You don’t have to say, what you did, I already know, I found out from him
Now there’s just no
chance, for you and me, there’ll never be, and don’t it make you sad about it
You told me you loved
me, why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you
need me when you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you
must have me confused with some other guy
Your bridges were burned,
and now it’s your turn to cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river, cry me
a river, cry me a river, yea yea
(Go on and just) cry
me a river (go on and just) cry me a river (baby go on and just) cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
cry me a river (go on and just) cry me a river (‘cause I’ve already cried)
Cry me a river, yea
yea (ain’t gonna cry no more, yea yea)
Cry me a river, cry me
a river, oh, cry me a river, oh, cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
(cry me, cry me) cry me a river, oh (cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh (cry
me, cry me) cry me a river, oh (cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh (cry
me, cry me) cry me a river, oh (cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river (cry
me, cry me)
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