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pieces of me



Let’s close this month of April with something sensual, shall we? Well, it might be sexual, but yeah, I guess it must be sensual. Have you ever felt like you know someone inside out? Have you ever felt like you someone knows you outside in? It is like you do not only find someone who completes you, but also someone who comprehends you. And that someone is being another subject in the relationship you both share instead of just an object of the affection you have. It is like that someone knows you underneath your clothes; beyond your appearance and what you have been wearing all this time. And that someone loves you for who you really are. It is like that someone understands you underneath your clothes; more than just skin and bones but all deepest thoughts you have inside. And that someone accepts you for every plus and minus quality you have. And that in the end of the day, after everything and amidst any situation, you both still belong to each other and there is no other place you would rather be than with that someone. Well for me, I have ‘that someone’ now; and I feel grateful more than anything.

“You’re a song written by the hands of God. Don’t get me wrong, ‘cause this might sound to you a bit odd. But you own the place where all my thoughts go hiding. And right under your clothes is where I find them.” –Shakira, Underneath Your Clothes

This sensual song I would like to talk about is “Underneath Your Clothes”, performed by Colombian singer-songwriter, Shakira. It was released on February 2002 as the second single taken from her fifth studio album, “Laundry Service”. The album is Shakira’s first album to be primarily recorded in English. The power ballad features lyrics by Shakira with music and production from her and Lester Mendez. Lyrically, the song tells the story of the unconditional love that a woman has for her boyfriend, with lyrics about being worthy of somebody’s love for being a good person and having maternal instincts. More than that, it is about loving and being loved by someone for all the imperfections underneath all the outer trappings.


"Underneath Your Clothes" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Have you ever wondered about who you really are? I guess everyone in this world must have some time in their life wondering about that. People struggle with identity all the time. Who is the person underneath the clothes? Whether it is consciously, people deal with the question about their identity all the time. Sometimes we find the answer, but some other time we do not. Sometimes we find it by ourselves, but some other time we find it through someone else. And that is what could happen with our significant other. Having a significant other means having someone to share our deepest thoughts, even our darkest secret, fear, doubt, and insecurity. And the most important of all, having a significant other means having someone who can accept all of thoughts without judging. Having a significant other is always personal. “You’re a song written by the hands of God. Don’t get me wrong, ‘cause this might sound to you a bit odd. But you own the place where all my thoughts go hiding. And right under your clothes is where I find them.”
Having a significant other means having a person who is able to accept even our oddest trait. Having a significant other means having a person who can see through to ourselves even without we say it out loud; a person who is able to know that there is something wrong even when we are silent about it. Instead of literally ‘not crying anymore’, having a significant other means we are running out a reason to keep crying even when the situation is very bad and sad. “Because of you, I forgot the smart ways to lie. Because of you, I’m running out of reasons to cry. When the friends are gone, when the party’s over, we will still belong to each other.” Having a significant other means having someone to share our soul; more than just ‘bodies meet’ and all physical attributes. “I love you more than all that’s on the planet, moving, talking, walking, breathing. You know it’s true, oh baby, it’s so funny, you almost don’t believe it. As every voice is hanging from the silence, lamps are hanging from the ceiling. Like a lady tied to her manners, I’m tied up to this feeling.”
Having a significant other means having someone to rely on; a person who chooses to stay even when everybody else is leaving already. Having a significant other means having someone to lean on; a person who is always there in the end of the day. Having a significant other means having someone we know and understand (perhaps) better than we know ourselves; someone we know and understand well like the back of our hand. I believe that a significant other supposed to be like that. I believe that a relationship we share with a significant other supposed to be like that. If it is no like that, well maybe we have not found the significant other yet. A significant other, in my humble opinion, is more than just a partner; a girlfriend or boyfriend, a wife or husband, a best friend, moreover a sex-buddy. No, significant other is beyond those attributes. It is someone whom we feel deepest connection with. “Underneath your clothes, there’s an endless story, there’s the man I chose, there’s my territory. And all the things I deserve for being such a good girl.”


"Laundry Service" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Manuel Castells argued that identity is people’s source of meaning and experience (2010: 6). It is the process of self-construction and individuation that involved in a person’s shaping of meaning; a symbolic identification by a person of the purpose of their action. Identity is not the same as social roles, for examples: ‘a partner’, ‘a husband’, ‘a wife’, ‘a lover’. Identity organizes the meaning of those social roles we have. Hence it is constructed. And people deal with the construction of identity all the time, whether they realize it or not. For example, they ask themselves frequently the reason why they stay with their partner or what is the impact if they make a certain decision in the relationship. Everyone can define ‘a significant other’ differently; it depends on the construction of their identity. For me personally, ‘a significant other’ itself is an identity; particularly when it comes to a romance relationship I share currently with my significant other. Having a significant other, indeed, is never unrequited. We know we have finally met our significant other when that person feels the same way. If they are not, well maybe they just are not the one.

“Because of you, I forgot the smart ways to lie. Because of you, I’m running out of reasons to cry. When the friends are gone, when the party’s over, we will still belong to each other.” –Shakira, Underneath Your Clothes




You’re a song written by the hands of God
Don’t get me wrong ‘cause this might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes is where I find them 

Underneath your clothes, there’s an endless story
There’s the man I chose, there’s my territory
And all the things I deserve for being such a good girl, honey

Because of you I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you I’m running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone, when the party’s over
We will still belong to each other

Underneath your clothes, there’s an endless story
There’s the man I chose, there’s my territory
And all the things I deserve for being such a good girl, honey

I love you more than all that’s on the planet, moving, talking, walking, breathing
You know it’s true, oh baby, it’s so funny, you almost don’t believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence, lamps are hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady tied to her manners, I’m tied up to this feeling

Underneath your clothes, there’s an endless story
There’s the man I chose, there’s my territory
And all the things I deserve for being such a good girl, honey
Wrote by Mashita Fandia



Some days ago I had this conversation with my partner. Like always, it was our routine heart-to-heart and mind-to-mind conversation. It was about insecurity and anxiety we have as a human, but what makes it different is that we particularly discussed about how small we feel when we see other people’s life and compare ours to theirs. It turned out that we both have similar inferiority complex regarding to this matter. It seems like other people at our age were born with some kind of manual book like a guidance of “how to live your life properly and be a successful person”. And during a hard time like this, thought like that is making us feel small and inferior and unworthy. It makes us wonder: how come they were born with this some kind of manual book of life? How come they never suffered and always get what they want? How come everything always comes easy for them? How come they always learn it the easy way? And suddenly this one classic hit that we both like was echoing in my head: “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin.
This song makes me wonder about life and the world we are living in. What do people search in life? What do we search in this world? What do people want to achieve in life? What do we want to achieve in this world? Do we to that for the afterlife? Is the afterlife really existed? Is heaven really existed? What is heaven anyway? Lately there were things happened that make me wonder. And it seems like universe is trying to tell me something, particularly to write something out with Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven”. I was in a coffee shop having some meeting with my crew, and there were some young girls sitting next to our table. They were talking out loud (like the whole world has to know their story, which is mostly about boys, sex, party, and stuffs), gossiping their friends, laughing, smoking, playing cards; and it makes me think “what a great life you guys have, right?” And it makes me wonder “what a great life you guys lead that you do not even think about how chaotic and messy the world is out there”, and “what an easy life you guys lead that you do not have to think about how cruel and problematic the system in the society we are living in now”. They were just there spending their parents’ money without even thinking about how to repay their debt or how hard it is to work to get money. Well, God is fair but life is never fair, right? What an irony. The world is spinning, and you may keep on winning right now; but, what will happen when it stops? Well, maybe it was just me who thought too much. Maybe they are just too young. Maybe everyone has their own way to buy a stairway to heaven.

“There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven. When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed, with a word she can get what she came for, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven.” –Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven

Written by guitarist Jimmy Page and vocalist Robert Plant, “Stairway to Heaven” is Led Zeppelin’s signature song that was first released on November 8th 1971 as a promotional single taken from the band’s fourth studio album. The album was actually released untitled, but it is commonly known as “Led Zeppelin IV”. “Stairway to Heaven” is often referred to as one of greatest rock songs of all time. The lyrics take some pretty wild turns, but the beginning of the song is about a woman who accumulates money, only to find out the hard way her life had no meaning and will not get her into heaven. This is the only part Plant would really explain, as he said it was “some cynical aside about a woman getting everything she wanted all the time without giving back any thought or consideration.” Indeed, women like this can be found anywhere now: those (sorry to say) beauty without brain who keeps waiting for a Prince Charming to come, and that is all their greatest problem of all.


"Stairway to Heaven" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

I guess some people were just born lucky with silver spoon on their mouth. They get everything they wanted all the time, without giving back any thought or consideration. They value everything based on material things; money, power, position, possession of things. They naively think that those material things would buy them a stairway to heaven; eternal happiness, joy, pride, glory. “There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven. When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed, with a word she can get what she came for, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven.” What they consider as a problem is actually a simple matter. Other than those simple matters, their entire world is just a glittery gold. It makes me wonder though, am I just being cynical or they are just that ignorance? “There’s a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure, ‘cause you know sometimes words have two meanings. In a tree by the brook, there’s a songbird who sings, sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven. Oh, it makes me wonder.”
I tend to see that people like them are not that grateful for everything they got. They got everything they wanted yet they still seem to feel lacked about anything. They do not even think or give consideration towards other people who are not as lucky as them. It makes wonder whether they still have conscience or not. “There’s a feeling I get when I look to the west, and my spirit is crying for leaving. In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees, and the voices of those who stand looking. Oh, it makes me wonder.” It makes me wonder whether someday I will find a rational explanation upon their behavior. “And it’s whispered that soon, if we all call the tune, then the piper will lead us to reason. And a new day will dawn for those who stand long, and the forests will echo with laughter. If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now, it’s just a spring clean for the May queen. Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run there’s still time to change the road you’re on. And it makes me wonder.”
It makes me wonder whether people like them are aware that there is more to life than just superficial material things. It makes me wonder whether people like them understand that there is more to life than just a glittery gold. It makes me wonder how they would be if they stop winning. “Your head is humming and it won’t go, in case you don’t know, the piper’s calling you to join him. Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know your stairway lies on the whispering wind?” And the most unbelievable thing is that people like them have tendency to show their glittery gold life to the world. It is like everybody else has to know what they do, what they have, and what happens in their life. “And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our soul; there walks a lady we all know, who shines white light and wants to show how everything still turns to gold. And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last; when all are one and one is all to be a rock and not to roll. And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.”


"Led Zeppelin IV" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

There are people who get everything they wanted all the time, without giving back any thought or consideration. They value everything based on material things; money, power, position, possession of things. They naively think that those material things would buy them a stairway to heaven; eternal happiness, joy, pride, glory. They have tendency to show their glittery gold life to the world. It is like everybody else has to know what they do, what they have, and what happens in their life; like it is the most important thing of all things in this world. I feel pity for people like them. They make me wonder, though. Are they aware that there is more to life than just superficial material things? Do they understand that there is more to life than just a glittery gold? How would they be if the world keeps spinning but they stop winning? We can find people like them everywhere now. They can be found particularly on social media; Instagram. The closest rational explanation I can get right now is that “people will kill for recognition”.
And what people like them search for is actually a recognition; from other people that they are better than anyone else. In my humble opinion, that is just pathetic. Ironically, they think that they buy a stairway to heaven yet they actually gain nothing more than just superficial and artificial heaven. Hence I think that it is pathetic. As a human, we are blessed with intellect and mind. And we should use them to think deeper about everything; beyond superficial and artificial. And with that ability in mind, we are free to choose whether to be like those people or more than just like those people. Well, maybe it is all just me being cynical and skeptical, or perhaps I am just jealous. Otherwise, maybe I just have to face the reality that this world is full with those ignorance people. And maybe it is true that ignorance is bliss. However though, I believe that we are free to choose. And I choose to keep on questioning. I choose to keep on believing that this world we live in is not as fine as it may seem. I choose to be critical.

“And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our soul; there walks a lady we all know, who shines white light and wants to show how everything still turns to gold. And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last; when all are one and one is all to be a rock and not to roll. And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.” –Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven




There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for, ooh, ooh, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven
There’s a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure, ‘cause you know sometimes words have two meanings
In a tree by the brook, there’s a songbird who sings, sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven
Ooh, it makes me wonder, ooh, it makes me wonder

There’s a feeling I get when I look to the west, and my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees, and the voices of those who stand looking
Ooh, it makes me wonder, ooh, it really makes me wonder

And it’s whispered that soon, if we all call the tune, then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long, and the forests will echo with laughter
If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now, it’s just a spring clean for the May queen
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run there’s still time to change the road you’re on
And it makes me wonder

Your head is humming and it won’t go, in case you don’t know, the piper’s calling you to join him
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know your stairway lies on the whispering wind?

And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know, who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all to be a rock and not to roll
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
Wrote by Mashita Fandia


Everyone has their own wall; a mental barrier they build as a protection from things that may harm themselves. And when people analogizing love as a game, well they got a point since in a way, love is a game of strategy; it is like a war. And love means surrender. And when people surrender, they take down their wall at some point to some extent. Hence the most terrifying part of being in love is surrendering and showing what is inside our wall. Since when they got inside our wall, they know the right button to push as well as how and when. That is why people say that someone is at their most vulnerable point when they are in love instead of when they are heartbroken. Because when they know the right button to push, they could harm us easily. And that is what it means of being in love: being sincerely and willingly vulnerable for that person we are surrendered to. It is like being completely and totally naked in front of that person; not in physical terms of course, but psychological instead. It is like all the things that are inside your head is being stripped down.

“I can’t get there on my own; you can’t leave me here alone. I’m just trying to do what’s right; oh a man ain’t a man ‘less he’s fought the fight.” –Kings of Leon, Walls

Since their comeback late last year, I have been hooked to Kings of Leon’s tracks in their new album, “WALLS”. As an album title, it is an acronym for We Are Like Love Song. On September 22nd 2016, the title track of the album, “Walls”, was released as a digital download single. It also served as the second single released from the album. A music video to accompany the release of “Walls” was first released onto YouTube on the same day.  With the beat resembling a heartbeat, this folk rock track is a slow burner. Written by the brotherhood of Kings of Leon, Caleb, Nathan, Jared, and Matthew Followill, the lyrics follow some emotional turmoil as it traces a tortured path through heartbreak and pain. It is a song about a man fighting for his identity and his dignity in the wake of a break up after his significant other tearing down the walls of his heart.


"Walls" single cover | source: www.rcarecords.com

Relationship goes both ways. Hence it could sustain only by the consent of both parties. In order to continue living, both people in the relationship must try their best. In order to keep going strong, both people in the relationship must work their hardest. It would not work if there is only one person who fights for it. It could not work if there is only one person who tries to make it worthy. Hence it makes sense when only one of them who works hard, they would feel some kind of resentment towards the other person. In the end, because they feel like being manipulated, whether they are conscious or not, the level of appreciation and respect towards the other person is degrading. And they would feel like the relationship is going to waste. “I can’t get there on my own; you can’t leave me here alone. I’m just trying to do what’s right; oh a man ain’t a man ‘less he’s fought the fight. I could never point you out; waste of space in a faceless crowd. Tell me what I have to say; if you know what’s right, then you’ll walk away.”
Relationship has its ups and down. And within the process, both people bend as they deconstruct and reconstruct their value in the relationship; a repeated cycle over and over again. And when they cannot sustain within the process, they would fail eventually. Since within the process, the wall every party has will fall down; meaning that it is real and it is certainly making some sort of affect on their life. Naturally we would try to do everything we can to save the relationship when it is on the edge, because we realize that we have to have enough desire to fight for something important to us. However, it would all go to waste when we are the only person fighting while our significant other is doing nothing about it. Desire is the very essence of human, they said. Hence when it is not there anymore, how can we fight for what we love? In spite of all that has happened, we all want to finish what we have started. “One by one I’ve seen them fall; some just don’t show up at all. I’m just here to fight the fire; oh a man ain’t a man ‘less he has desire.”
The degrading respect and appreciation, the loneliness of a single fighter, the unbalance level of bending; it would all cause a broken relationship. The walls are coming down; the shields that protect us from hurting are coming down. Our significant other has gotten through our mental shield, ripped out our heart, tore it all into pieces, and thrown it all away to a waste. Our significant other has broken into our mental barrier and left us in pain and suffers. However though, it has also left us with something that makes us come to realize that they do not actually know what they want; that they make everything side by side without really having sure about something. It makes us come to understand that they are actually always a confused person. “And the walls come down; and the walls come down. When the walls come down; when the walls come down. You tore out my heart, and you threw it away. The western girl with eastern eyes; took a wrong turn and found surprise awaits. Now there’s nothing in the way.”


"WALLS" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Even in a relationship, people can have an unrequited love towards their partner. It all could happen since love, whether it is in terms of feeling or action, is can never be reciprocal. It is because people have their own way in expressing the love they feel. And people say that they who love the most are the ones that will be hurt the most too. It all would happen since they are at the most vulnerable point. It is because the wall they have built in order to protect themselves from suffering has been broken down when they fall in love. It is because they let their significant other to get through the wall they have built in order to shield themselves from pain. And what makes it worse is when the significant other is actually at the point when they face a confusion regarding to their own identity. We can never point them out. And there we are left being in a frustration at their perceived abandonment, over and over again. That is what it takes for loving someone who is in their search for their own selves. The walls have come down, and just like that, we are able to get hurt easily by everything that the person does.

“One by one I’ve seen them fall; some just don’t show up at all. I’m just here to fight the fire; oh a man ain’t a man ‘less he has desire.” –Kings of Leon, Walls




I can’t get there on my own, you can’t leave me here alone
I’m just trying to do what’s right, oh a man ain’t a man ‘less he’s fought the fight
I could never point you out, waste of space in a faceless crowd
Tell me what I have to say, if you know what’s right, then you’ll walk away

When the walls come down, when the walls come down
When the walls come down, when the walls come down

One by one I’ve seen them fall, some just don’t show up at all
I’m just here to fight the fire, oh a man ain’t a man ‘less he has desire

And the walls come down, and the walls come down
When the walls come down, when the walls come down
You tore out my heart, and you threw it away
The western girl with eastern eyes, took a wrong turn and found surprise awaits
Now there’s nothing in the way, in the way, in the way, in the way

When the walls come down, when the walls come down
When the walls come down, when the walls come down
You tore out my heart, you threw it away
The western girl with eastern eyes, took a wrong turn and found surprise awaits
Now there’s nothing in the way, in the way, in the way, in the way
Wrote by Mashita Fandia



Adakah rasa itu tertambat di sana?
Adakah rasa itu tertahan di sana?

Katamu kau simpan semua kata
Kau bilang itu semua adalah monumen atas rasa
Katamu kau kenang semua kata
Kau bilang itu semua adalah memori atas rasa

Lalu di mana kau simpan semua kata dariku?
Adakah kau simpan monumen atas rasaku?
Lalu di mana kau kenang semua kata dariku?
Adakah kau simpan memori atas rasaku?

Adakah kata itu?
Adakah rasa itu?
Adakah?

M.F
Wrote by Mashita Fandia



You’ve been shining for a dozen years, aren’t you tired of it?
Behind the darkness of the night, you’ve been watching silently,
waiting for the moon to elapse, aren’t you tired of it?
The age of your time has passed, yet you patiently wait for the next to come,
through the winter, spring, summer and autumn, aren’t you tired of it?

How could you love the night when the day is your whole world?
How could you long for the night when you could never beat the moon?
How could you love the night when you could never bear the cold?
How could you long for the night when you belong to the afternoon?

How could you believe what you want to believe?
How could you breathe for something that doesn’t remember you?
How could you stay when you have to leave?
How could you pray for something that cannot recognize you?

After all the warm time you’ve been given,
how could the night despise you?
How could the night be forgiven?
How could the night have a clue?

They say time would answer
everything.

M.F
Wrote by Mashita Fandia



Apa yang penting bagimu,
Apa yang penting bagiku,
Sama namun berbeda.

Apa yang berarti bagiku,
Apa yang berarti bagimu,
Tak beda namun tak sama.

Adakah kata tersisa di sana ketika tangis terus mendesak,
dan menyesakkan?
Adakah maaf terucap di sini ketika air mata habis terisak,
dan memilukan?

Yang ada hanya amarah menghujani lewat satu gelas kaca.
Yang ada hanya benci terluap dalam satu kepalan tangan.

Sulaman tak bertemu jalin.
Mau sampai kapan lembaran itu terpatri di dinding?

M.F
Wrote by Mashita Fandia


People say that love fades. And even my closest friend said that. And even my significant other did too. Does love fade? Does it? Well, I could not say that I do not entirely deny that. Even I used to say that love does fade at some point to some extent. The thing is, now that I have come to this point, I could say that I do not entirely believe that love does fade. In my humble opinion, no, love does not (entirely) fade; love just transforms. It could be partially or entirely, but I do think that love does transform at some point to some extent. The thing is, can we really control feeling? Can we control what we feel and whatnot? Do we have control of it all? When love transforms at some point to some extent, can we control what we feel regarding to that matter? When love transforms, do we have any control of it? People say that we do not have any control upon what we feel, yet we can control what we do about it. In other words, the control is not in the level of feeling, but in the level of act instead. When the love is not reciprocal, the feeling may be uncontainable, but we can bend through the decision we make upon our act. And here lies another problem: we must deal with the pain caused by the uncontainable feeling all by ourselves.

“You’re going far away, though there are many things that are still left unsaid. This feeling that I could not say to you, can you see it through my heart? Just like this, I’m still hoping you.” –Min Kyung Hoon, Love You

The lyrics of the song I would like to discuss this time is a Korean song titled “Love You” It was recorded by the front-man of rock band, Buzz, Min Kyung Hoon for the soundtrack of tvN’s drama series, “The K2”. The power ballad track was released on October 22nd 2016 as a single album, “The K2 OST Part 4”. It was later released as a part of “The K2 Original Sound Track” album on November 11th 2016. This song served as a theme song for the lead characters couple in the drama series, Go Anna and Kim Je Ha, portrayed by Im Yoona (of Girls’ Generation) and (gorgeous actor) Ji Chang Wook, respectively. The visual couple portrayed a bodyguard (Je Ha) who falls for the one he has to protect (Anna). With all of the circumstances around them, Je Ha and Anna cannot just profess their love easily. However, that does not change their deep affection towards each other too.


"The K2 OST Part 4" single album cover | source: wiki.d-addicts.com

In some cases that I found, falling in love is not done intentionally. People cannot fall in love for some other people just like that. They may have some interest for some other people just like that or intentionally (whether it is in the conscious level or subconscious), but that is not love. Love takes time. Loves needs time to grow. And people can never plan to fall in love. It just happens. And they know when it happens. And when it happens, they can never plan how deep they fall in love is. Yet the worst thing happens when the feeling you have can never reach that person. Unrequited love, indeed, is a mental block that gives us barrier; a barrier that holding us from saying things we really feel. Unrequited love holds us back from telling things we truly have. Unrequited love holds us back from showing things we really want. “You’re going far away, though there are many things that are still left unsaid. This feeling that I could not say to you, can you see it through my heart? Just like this, I’m still hoping you.”
People can never plan how deep they fall in love. On the other hand, they can never plan to not having expectation. And the worst thing happens when the feeling you have is not reciprocal; when the expectation does not meet the reality. Our feeling is wasted away since we leave it being left unsaid. Our effort is meeting a dead end since we let it going to waste. Ironically, though we cannot say anything, we still have hope that the person would be able to see right through our heart. Ironically, though we cannot do anything to hold that person from going away, we still want to be with them. That is just the thing about unrequited feeling. Though there is nothing we can do in the level of actions, we cannot control anything in the level of feeling. Hence unrequited love is the most hopeless and helpless kind of love that is ever existed in this life. “I couldn’t give a lot to you, in the end, this is all that I can give. Now that you’re getting farther away, I can’t even catch you. However, I still want you.”
The thing about falling in an unrequited love is (from what I have seen in some people) that we cannot lie to ourselves. We may be able to lie to other person; however, we are the ones who would feel the pain eventually. The thing about being in an unrequited love is (from what I got from some people) that we cannot switch it off just like that. We may be able to hide our feeling away; however, we are the ones who could understand how deep it actually has become eventually. The thing about unrequited love is that the more we try to forget it, the more we remember; the more we try to erase it, the more it appears; the more we try to end it, the more it got deeper. We just cannot stop it. “Love you, even I try to forget you, even if I try to end this feeling I have for you. The more I try to erase you, only the more longing feeling for you that remains. Love you, even if I try to stop this feeling from keep on growing, I just can’t do that. I love you, I love you again even today, and again even tomorrow.”


Ji Chang Wook as Kim Je Ha (left) and Im Yoona as Go Anna (right) in the drama series "The K2" | source: tvN

There are things that cause a love into being an unrequited love. However, it all comes down to one main problem: the fear to confess the feeling. The fear itself can be caused by some conditions that create a mental block; such as when someone falls in love with their best friend or when a bodyguard falls in love with their VIP, just like what happens in the drama series “The K2”. And when the fear consumes us, many negative thoughts follow to come, and the worst is the inferiority. We will feel like we lack of many things that we do not deserve to be with that person. We feel like we cannot do much that we are inappropriate to be with that person. We feel like we are inadequate to be with that person. Hence it all builds the mental block. Hence we feel like we cannot reach and catch that person. Hence it all builds the pain and hollow inside our heart. However, when the feeling is being left unsaid, how could that person be able to understand our feeling? No, they never could. All we do is just hurting ourselves instead.

“Love you, even I try to forget you, even if I try to end this feeling I have for you. The more I try to erase you, only the more longing feeling for you that remains.” –Min Kyung Hoon, Love You



멀리 가고 있네요 아직 못한 말이 많은데 음
(Meolli gago itneyo ajik mothan mari manheunde eum)
((You’re going far away, though there are many things that are still left unsaid))
끝내 전해주지 못했던 내 맘 보일까요
(Kkeutnae jeonhaejuji mothaetdeon nae mam boilkkayo)
((This feeling that I could not say to you, can you see it through my heart?))
아직도 난 이렇게 그댈 바라고 있죠
(Ajikdo nan ireohge geudael barago itjyo)
((Just like this, I’m still hoping you))

Love you, 잊어도 잊어도 끝내려 해도 그대가 그대를
(Love you, ijeodo ijeodo kkeutnaeryeo haedo geudaega geudaereul)
((Love you, even I try to forget you, even if I try to end this feeling I have for you))
지워내려 하면 할 수록 자꾸 그리움만 남네요 그대
(Jiwonaeryeo hamyeon hal surok jakku geuriumman namneyo geudae)
((The more I try to erase you, only the more longing feeling for you that remains))
Love you, 마음을 막아도 더 커지는 건 막을 수가 없죠
(Love you, maeumeul magado deo keojineun geon mageul suga eopsjyo)
((Love you, even if I try to stop this feeling from keep on growing, I just can’t do that))
사랑합니다 사랑합니다 오늘도 그대를
(Saranghamnida saranghamnida oneuldo geudaereul)
((I love you, I love you again even today))

많이 주지 못했죠 결국 이것 밖에 안된걸 음
(Manhi juji mothaetjyo gyeolguk igeot bakke andoengeol eum)
((I couldn’t give a lot to you, in the end, this is all that I can give))
이제 멀어지는 그대를 잡을 수도 없죠
(Ije meoreojineun geudaereul jabeul sudo eopsjyo)
((Now that you’re getting farther away, I can’t even catch you))
그래도 난 여전히 그댈 원하고 있죠
(Geuraedo nan yeojeonhi geudael wonhago itjyo)
((However, I still want you))

Love you, 잊어도 잊어도 끝내려 해도 그대가 그대를
(Love you, ijeodo ijeodo kkeutnaeryeo haedo geudaega geudaereul)
((Love you, even I try to forget you, even if I try to end this feeling I have for you))
지워내려 하면 할 수록 자꾸 그리움만 남네요 그대
(Jiwonaeryeo hamyeon hal surok jakku geuriumman namneyo geudae)
((The more I try to erase you, only the more longing feeling for you that remains))
Love you, 마음을 막아도 더 커지는 건 막을 수가 없죠
(Love you, maeumeul magado deo keojineun geon mageul suga eopsjyo)
((Love you, even if I try to stop this feeling from keep on growing, I just can’t do that))
사랑합니다 사랑합니다 오늘도 그대를 음 내일도 그대를
(Saranghamnida saranghamnida oneuldo geudaereul eum naeildo geudaereul)
((I love you, I love you again even today, and again even tomorrow))
Wrote by Mashita Fandia
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