Wish
Friday, February 10, 2017
Have you ever felt lost and empty inside; realizing what you used to have, you don’t have it anymore? Have you ever felt lost and empty inside; realizing the person who used to be by your side, isn’t there anymore? Have you ever felt lost and empty inside; realizing the feeling you used to feel, you can’t feel it anymore? Have you ever felt lost and empty inside; realizing something that used to be there, isn’t there anymore? It makes you wonder, how can love change just like that? It makes you wonder, how can love just disappear like that? It makes you wonder, does love really change? It makes you wonder, does love really disappear? Those wonders are hanging in the air, as you are mindlessly looking at the sky. Those wonders are hanging in the air, as you are dumbfounded staring at the raindrops that fall upon your window. Those wonders are hanging in the air, as you are blankly seeing at the empty room around you. In the end, you can only wishing that you weren’t in love in the first place, though that’s a useless wish.
“I’m blaming myself and laughing
at myself, as I’m becoming more and more miserable with my pathetic self
without you. I really want you, but when I cannot expect for you anymore, in
front of these countless emotions, what should I do? One day, two days, a week
has passed now, time goes on, but I just keep on staring at the sky, without
any thoughts.” –Urban Zakapa, Wish
(소원)
The song’s lyric I
would like to talk about today is a perfect track to accompany your heartbroken
days and nights. This is a song titled “Wish (소원)”, performed
by Korean vocals trio, Urban Zakapa. This melancholic pop ballad track was
recorded for the original soundtrack of a phenomenal Korean drama series, “Goblin”,
or also known as “Guardian: The Lonely and Great God”. It was released on
January 8th 2017 as single album, “Goblin OST Part 10”. The official accompany
music video was premiered on Mnet,
two days prior the single on January 6th 2017. The track was composed, written, and
produced by Urban Zakapa’s member, Park
Yong In. The talented trio is singing a song about trying to accept being separated from the one you
love. Their voices are
immensely soothing and beautiful, portraying a myriad of emotions felt through
the love shared between the two lead characters in “Goblin”. This
song currently feels as the soundtrack of my love life since I feel so related
with the lyrics right now.
 |
| "Goblin OST Part 10" single album cover | source: wiki.d-addicts.com |
Have you ever felt
lost and empty inside; realizing something that used to be there, isn’t there
anymore? You are undergoing your same old daily routines. You get up in the
morning, making hot tea or coffee to help you start the day. You take a bath
and go for work. However when you come home in the end of the day, something
feels different. Something is missing. Something feels lost. And strangely, it
causes you pain; a deep pain inside your heart. It affects you physically. You can
barely eat. You can hardly breathe. You got severe headache at night, and no
matter how many painkillers you’ve eaten, the pain won’t go away. You feel
suffocated by the pain. And you keep asking yourself whether you can survive. That’s
what happens when you’re heartbroken. “At
the end of an exhausting day, strangely I feel an unfamiliar feeling when I get
back home. A strange dizziness, an unknown suffocation, will I be okay as it is
now? One day, two days, a week has passed now, time goes on, but I just keep on
staring at the sky, like a mindless person.”
Have you ever felt
lost and empty inside; realizing the person who used to be by your side, isn’t
there anymore? You keep on feeling that you’re the one to blame with all that
has happened. The pain and suffering from blaming yourself are drowning you
into a miserable desperation. You become devastated each days. There are myriad
of emotions inside your heart and mind but you cannot express it. You repress
it and you keep on repressing it until it becomes a depression. You are
frustrated. You do not have any idea what you should do with that. You are lost
in suffering frustration and devastating pain. And you keep asking yourself
what to do. That’s what happens when you’re heartbroken. “I’m blaming myself and laughing at myself, as I’m becoming more and
more miserable with my pathetic self without you. I really want you, but when I
cannot expect for you anymore, in front of these countless emotions, what
should I do? One day, two days, a week has passed now, time goes on, but I just
keep on staring at the sky, without any thoughts.”
Have you ever felt
lost and empty inside; realizing what you used to have, you don’t have it
anymore? Have you ever felt lost and empty inside; realizing the feeling you
used to feel, you can’t feel it anymore? That is what you feel when you are
heartbroken. No matter how many tears you have shed, you keep on longing for
that person, desperately. No matter how hard you have tried to forget, you keep
on reminiscing, miserably. You keep on wondering whether that person feels the
same way too right now. You keep on wishing that the pathetic feeling will go away
soon. You keep on wishing that you will be alright soon. Though you know that
those are useless wishes, you keep doing it anyway, since it is the only way
you could keep your sanity. Though you know at some point, you have lost your
sanity when you lost that person. “I miss
you and I miss you again, even when I close my wet eyes, I keep on thinking
about you; do you feel the same way? I just wish that I would not love you
anymore, even if it’s a useless desire, I keep doing it anyway.”
 |
| A sad scene from "Goblin" | source: www.allkpop.com |
I feel lost and empty
right now. Everything seems pointless at this point. I cannot get through to my
significant other; perhaps I’ve already lost him somewhere along the way. I cannot
reach his heart; perhaps I’ve already got off track with him somewhere along
the line. How can love change just like
that? How can love just disappear like that? I keep on asking those
questions to myself. For me, love doesn’t change. For me, love doesn’t
disappear. Where did we go wrong? What
did we do wrong? How did it go wrong? I cannot help but being frustrated by
trying to figure out everything that has happened between us. I cannot help but
being devastated by trying to talk it out with him. Did I lose my love for someone better? Did he just throw me away since
I’m no longer attractive? Did he just throw me away since I’m no longer useful?
That is just what happpens when I am heartbroken. Sadly, though I know that I
am heartbroken, it cannot stop myself from loving him. Though I know that I am
heartbroken, it cannot stop myself from longing for him. Though I know that I
am heartbroken, it cannot stop myself from waiting for him. Even my wish of not wanting to love you anymore
is a useless wish, but I keep wishing it anyway.
“I miss you and I miss you again,
even when I close my wet eyes, I keep on thinking about you, do you feel the
same way? I just wish that I would not love you anymore, even if it’s a useless
desire, I keep doing it anyway.” –Urban Zakapa, Wish (소원)
지친 하루를 마치고 집에 돌아왔을때 이상하게 낯선 기분
(Jichin harureul machigo jibe dorawasseulttae isanghage
naccseon gibun)
((At the end of an
exhausting day, strangely I feel an unfamiliar feeling when I get back home))
뭔지모를 어지러움과 알 수 없는 이 답답함 지금 이대로도 괜찮을까
(Mwonjimoreul eojireoumgwa al su eopsneun i
dapdapham jigeum idaerodo gwaenchanheulkka)
((A strange dizziness,
an unknown suffocation, will I be okay as it is now?))
하루이틀 지나 일주일 시간은 흐르는데 나는 하늘만 보네 아무 생각없는 사람처럼
(Haruiteul jina iljuil siganeun heureuneunde naneun
haneulman bone amu saenggakeopsneun saramcheoreom)
((One day, two days, a
week has passed now, time goes on, but I just keep on staring at the sky, like
a mindless person))
스스로 나를 자책하고 비웃으며 있자니 점점 비참해지는 너없이 초라한 나
(Seuseuro nareul jachaekhago biuseumyeo issjani
jeomjeom bichamhaejineun neoeopsi chorahan na)
((I’m blaming myself
and laughing at myself, as I’m becoming more and more miserable with my
pathetic self without you))
너를 간절히 원하지만 더 기대할 수 없을 때 수많은 감정앞에 뭘 해야할까
(Neoreul ganjeolhi wonhajiman deo gidaehal su
eopseul ttae sumanheun gamjeongape mwol haeyahalkka)
((I really want you,
but when I cannot expect for you anymore, in front of these countless emotions,
what should I do?))
하루이틀 지나 일주일 시간은 흐르는데 나는 하늘만 보네 아무 생각없이
(Haruiteul jina iljuil siganeun heureuneunde naneun
haneulman bone amu saenggakeopsi)
((One day, two days, a
week has passed now, time goes on, but I just keep on staring at the sky,
without any thoughts))
그리워 니가 또 그리워 젖은 눈을 감아도 자꾸 니가 생각나 너도 나와 같은 기분일까
(Geuriwo niga tto geuriwo jeojeun nuneul gamado
jakku niga saenggakna neodo nawa gateun gibunilkka)
((I miss you and I
miss you again, even when I close my wet eyes, I keep on thinking about you, do
you feel the same way?))
널 사랑하고 싶지 않다는 소원만큼이나 부질없는 바램 난 자꾸 하게 돼
(Neol saranghago sipji anhdaneun sowonmankeumina
bujileopsneun baraem nan jakku hage dwae)
((I just wish that I
would not love you anymore, even if it’s a useless desire, I keep doing it
anyway))
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