Words
Sunday, December 04, 2016
Is there any couple out there who never had arguments? Is there any couple out there who never had fights? I guess every couple has ever had arguments and fights. People say that every couple needs to argue now and then; just to prove the relationship is strong enough to survive. Indeed, we know that it is a true love when we have the worst argument with someone and realize we would rather have that argument with them than not having them in your life. Hence, when we survive the arguments by finding a consensus for the relationship, that is when we know the relationship is working. We cannot have a relationship without any fights. However, we can make our relationship worth the fight. The essence of having a real relationship lies in how we deal with problems, by arguing over them, by fighting them off, rather than just leaving it hanging in the air without any conversation of them. Dealing with problems, arguments, fights, and conversations involves words. And words, just like what Jean-Paul Sartre once said, are loaded pistols. Words are more treacherous and powerful than we think. Words can make you happy or words can make you sad. The arguments are nothing; they are just words. And words are holding a significant role in a relationship. Through words, feelings are spoken. And a successful relationship is the relationship in which conflicts are successfully resolved; through words, most of the times.
“Smile an everlasting smile; a
smile can bring you near to me. Don’t ever let me find you gone, ‘cause that
would bring a tear to me.” –The Bee Gees, Words
Every time I have an
argument with my partner, this one song crosses my mind. It is because there
was a time when we had a fight one night, and then the next morning we heard
this song was playing on a restaurant when we were stuck in an awkward silence
during the breakfast. This song is called “Words”, originally performed by The
Bee Gees. As one of the 90-ers, of course I used to know that Boyzone was the
one who popularized this song. Later on then I discovered that it was released as
a single on January 1968 by The Bee Gees, written for a movie called “The
Mini-Affair” (in England, the movie was titled “The Mini Mob”). The pop
track was written by Barry, Robin, and Maurice Gibb. On October 2nd 1996, a
cover version by Irish boy band Boyzone was released as the first single taken
from their second studio album, “A Different Beat”, which was later released on
October 28th 1996. Maurice Gibb of The Bee Gees declared that it is the best
ever cover of the band’s song. Robin Gibb said that “Words” reflects a mood;
and it was written after an argument. And they realized that an argument was
never about the argument itself; it was about the words being said during and
after the argument.
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| "Words" single cover by The Bee Gees | source: en.wikipedia.org |
Smile is not only the
beginning of love, but also the thing that can bring comfort for someone. After
having a hard, emotionally-drenching, and rough argument with our significant
other, it is great to give away a smile towards them. Harsh words are
inevitable when we are arguing with our partner. Mean words are unavoidable
when we are fighting with our partner. However, after those words are being
said, give a smile to them; since we do not judge the people we love, just like
what Sartre once said. If we truly love someone, we have an argument with them
not to judge them, but to find a solution instead. “Smile an everlasting smile; a smile can bring you near to me. Don’t
ever let me find you gone, ‘cause that would bring a tear to me.” Since we
have the argument to find a solution, leaving is not the best choice at all. In
contrast of a smile, leaving our partner after an argument would bring misery
for both of us. “Talk, in everlasting
words, and dedicate them all to me. And I will give you all my life; I’m here
if you should call to me.”
Everyone needs time
on their own, moreover in a situation where they’ve just had an argument.
However, being alone for too long won’t solve anything. It would make it worse
instead. And that’s not healthy for a relationship. Staying, no matter how hard
it is, is the best choice. When an argument breaks out, some parts of
relationship are crumbled. And what a mature relationship would do is
deconstructing itself. “This world has
lost its glory; let’s start a brand new story now, my love. Right now, there’ll
be no other time; and I can show you how, my love.” Having a fight and
argument doesn’t mean that a relationship is broken; it is the time to
deconstruct it into a better version instead. However, that would only happen
when both parties are speaking with same language, reading the same page, and
having a same frequency, unless, it would not work; because only after the
deconstruction that a reconstruction could begin. “You think that I don’t even mean a single word I say. It’s only words,
and words are all I have to take your heart away.”
If we truly love
someone, we naturally offer everything we have for them. If we love someone for
real, we willingly give anything we have for them. If we sincerely love
someone, we would do all it takes to be with them. Even when we have nothing
but words, that doesn’t mean that those words are just emptiness. Words are an
hopeless expression of someone who has nothing to give but their feelings,
since feelings are spoken through words. However, people say that words will
have more meaning if they are followed with actions. They say that without
actions, words would be meaningless. For me personally, that statement got some
point. Words and actions should walk hand-in-hand. From my point of view,
actions would be meaningless without words, too. Since everyone’s could have
different interpretation towards a same action, therefore words are important
to define the meaning of the action. We should all be careful with words,
though. Never say a word unless you really mean it.
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| "Words" single cover by Boyzone | source: en.wikipedia.org |
It is natural for people to wish for love that never breaks or crumble, but of which stays intact and stable. However, by staying intact and stable, is that meaning that the love is an everlasting love? In fact, intimacy, closeness, and love are enhanced through the resolution of conflicts. Couples become closer to each other when they have conflicts and work through them successfully because conflicts will always arise. They are an opportunity for intimacy, self-knowledge, and a greater connection. I got that from Stefan Molyneux. He got the point though. Stability will lead us to a stagnant condition, and in a relationship, it could be a time bomb that can explode at some point and destruct everything; because in stability, people actually build nothing but pseudo-happiness. And pseudo-happiness will eventually lead us to emptiness. On the other hand, conflicts will force people to reflect and contemplate themselves. Conflicts will make people converse. Conflicts will enhance intimacy, only and only if, we communicate.
“This world has lost its glory;
let’s start a brand new story now, my love. Right now, there’ll be no other
time, and I can show you how, my love.” –The Bee Gees, Words
Smile an everlasting
smile, a smile can bring you near to me
Don’t ever let me find
you gone, ‘cause that would bring a tear to me
This world has lost its
glory, let’s start a brand new story now, my love
Right now, there’ll be
no other time, and I can show you how, my love
Talk, in everlasting
words, and dedicate them all, to me
And I will give you
all my life, I’m here if you should call to me
You think that I don’t
even mean a single word I say
It’s only words, and
words are all I have to take your heart away
Da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da
You think that I don’t
even mean a single word I say
It’s only words, and
words are all I have to take your heart away
It’s only words, and
words are all I have to take your heart away
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