Today marks the 26th year I’ve been living my life as a human being named Mashita Fandia. I remember last year I wrote about how amazing the life I’ve had for a quarter of century; how amazing the moment when you realize that even the smallest thing you say or do is meant a lot for someone else; the process of sharing meanings in life. One year later after that post now, I’m taking a moment for reminiscing this past year. Many things have happened within this past twelve months. There are bad and good things, sad and happy things, but if I could sum it up, my 25 was amazing. God and universe answered some of my prayers. I got enrolled in a notable graduate school and given chance to study one of my most wanted: cultural studies. I got to meet new friends and given chance to share deeper bonds with some of them. Last but not least, I got myself a soulmate. Within this post that marks my 26th birthday, prayers are uttered that these bonds I have with my significant other, my greatest friends, my beloved family, all will be strengthen in the future, in hopes that we all will never stop sharing meanings in this life. Cheers~
“My heart draws out those
forgotten dreams again. I gather all those difficult times and swallow them.
Small memories wake me up one by one. I’ll spread myself wide enough to fill the
world.” –Taeyeon feat. Verbal Jint, I
(아이)
In this special
occasion, I’m going to review a Korean song titled “I (아이)”. This was a
solo debut song from the leader and lead vocalist of the foremost South Korea’s
girl group, Girls’ Generation, Kim Taeyeon. It was served as the title track of
Taeyeon’s debut extended play of the same name which was released on October
7th 2015. The pop rock track’s music was composed and arranged by a group of
composer consist of Myah Marie Langston, Bennett Armstrong, Justin T. Armstrong,
Cosmopolitan Douglas, David Quinones, Jon Asher, and Ryan S. Jhun. The song’s
lyrics were written by Taeyeon herself along with her featured partner, rapper
Verbal Jint, and also Mafly. The music video for “I (아이)” was
premiered on Mnet on October 6th
2015. It was filmed in Auckland, New Zealand and told the story of a young
woman in search of her true identity and self-actualization.
 |
| "I" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org |
“I (아이)” has the power to remind me how great and beautiful life is whenever I
listen to it. Even in the middle of a harsh time when reality hits me hard,
despite all those tiresome struggles and debacles in life, listening to “I (아이)” could make me feel grateful. Therefore I pick this song in this
special occasion. Its narrative lyrics tell a story of a little girl who grows
mature along her journey into a young woman, as she tries to draw a silver
lining amidst the dark clouds in life. Taeyeon herself said that it’s about
being yourself in a freer way, while moving on from hard and frustrating times.
“It’s a story that sounds familiar, like
the ugly duckling and the swan, or a butterfly before it can fly. People don’t
know, for they can’t see your wings, and the world that you’ve met might be
cruel. But strong girl, you know you were born to fly. Tears that you shed,
pain that you felt, they were all to prepare for the day when you fly higher,
butterfly. Everybody’s gonna see it soon.”
The song’s lyrics are
intertwined with this special occasion. As I grow older, I learn that maturity
has nothing to do with age. Apparently, being old doesn’t always mean that you
are mature. Even until now, I’m still learning how to be an adult; what it
takes and what the deal about it is. However, these years have taught me that
this life is too short to waste it in a daydream. Dreams are important, but
what more significant is the efforts to pursue them. “My heart draws out those forgotten dreams again. I gather all those
difficult times and swallow them. Small memories wake me up one by one. I’ll
spread myself wide enough to fill the world. Through the long night, I want to
leave on a trip again, ‘Why not?’ In this world, those are the words that have awakened
my heart.” And of course, life is too short to waste it in an endless broken
heart. Memories, whether they’re painful or delightful, those are grateful
moments we have to embrace for the sake of brighter future. “The lonely yesterday with countless eyes on
me, I endure the day again with falling tears. The breathtaking yesterday with
those spilling words, I embrace my trembling self.”
Once we’re able to
embrace our past, we could begin the self-acceptance. Once we’re able to accept
our selves, we could begin to rise again. For me, that’s what it takes for
being an adult. It’s more than just a growing body. It’s more than just blowing
candles on a piece of cake. It’s more than just starting to wear heels instead
of sneakers. It’s more than just knowing how to put a make-up on the face. It’s
more than just how you represent yourself in social media. It’s beyond all of
those artificial and superficial things, because without you have to tell the
world about it, the universe can see for itself when you are sincere. “Those flower petals withered as I was
having a hard time, but I followed the small light. I send those faraway days
in memories, then I fly away, splendidly.” Being an adult is an endless
process of learning, as what life is. It’s about acceptance; a sincere one that
comes from the deep of your heart; to let go what has to go and to prepare what
is yet to come. “The sky is pouring light,
underneath is a kid standing, I, fly as if I’m dreaming. My life is a beauty.”
“The sky is pouring light, it’s a brand new
eyes, it’s a brand new eyes. I fly far away, fly high, fly high, I am my own
beauty. The moment I close my eyes, time stops, and I rise up again.” I could say all of this since I’ve
been through all of those broken hearts, dispirited feelings, lonely nights, struggling
days, and those times when life seems so unfriendly. I know it all too well how
hard it feels to console yourself, as you are alone during hard times. I know
it all too well how difficult it is to wipe your own tears, as you are alone
during heartbreaks. I know it all too well how lonely it feels when you have no
one to share your pain and sadness. I know it all too well how exhausting it is
when you have no shoulders to lean on. Those were in the past now, and though
they may come again in the future, at least I’ve learned how to deal with them.
I’ve used them all to begin again and stand on my own two feet. Indeed, there
is no better teacher than experience. Lastly, happy birthday to me. Let’s
embrace the past, seize the present, and enlighten the future.
“Those flower petals withered as I
was having a hard time, but I followed the small light. I send those faraway
days in memories, then I fly away, splendidly.” –Taeyeon feat. Verbal
Jint, I (아이)
빛을 쏟는 sky 그 아래 선 아이 I 꿈꾸듯이 fly
(Bicceul ssotneun sky
geu arae seon ai I kkumkkudeusi fly)
((The sky is pouring
light, underneath is a kid standing, I, fly as if I’m dreaming))
My life is a beauty
어디서 많이 들어본 이야기 미운 오리와 백조 또 날기 전의 나비
(Eodiseo manhi
deureobon iyagi miun oriwa baekjo tto nalgi jeonui nabi)
((It’s a story that
sounds familiar, like the ugly duckling and the swan, or a butterfly before it
can fly))
사람들은 몰라 너의 날개를 못 봐 네가 만난 세계라는 건 잔인할지도 몰라
(Saramdeureun molla neoui
nalgaereul mot bwa nega mannan segyeraneun geon janinhaljido molla)
((People don’t know,
for they can’t see your wings, and the world that you’ve met might be cruel))
But strong girl, you
know you were born to fly
네가 흘린 눈물 네가 느낀 고통은 다 더 높이 날아오를 날을 위한 준비일 뿐 butterfly
(Nega heullin nunmul
nega neukkin gotongeun da deo nopi naraoreul nareul wihan junbiil ppun
butterfly)
((Tears that you shed,
pain that you felt, they were all to prepare for the day when you fly higher,
butterfly))
Everybody’s gonna see
it soon
빛을 쏟는 sky 그 아래 선 아이 I 꿈꾸듯이 fly
(Bicceul ssotneun sky
geu arae seon ai I kkumkkudeusi fly)
((The sky is pouring
light, underneath is a kid standing, I, fly as if I’m dreaming))
My life is a beauty
잊었던 꿈 내 맘 또 그려내 움츠렸던 시간 모두 모아 다 삼켜내
(Ijeodeon kkum nae
mam tto geuryeonae umcheuryeodeon sigan modu moa da samkyeonae)
((My heart draws out
those forgotten dreams again, I gather all those difficult times and swallow
them))
작은 기억 하나 둘씩 날 깨워가 세상 가득 채울 만큼 나를 펼쳐가
(Jageun gieok hana
dulssik nal kkaewoga sesang gadeuk chaeul mankeum nareul pyeolchyeoga)
((Small memories wake
me up one by one, I’ll spread myself wide enough to fill the world))
길고 긴 밤을 지나 다시 trip 길을 떠나볼래why not 이 세상에 내 맘을 깨워 주는 한마디
(Gilgo gin bameul
jina dasi trip gireul tteonabollae why not i sesange nae mameul kkaewo juneun
hanmadi)
((Through the long
night, I want to leave on a trip again, ‘Why not?’ In this world, those are the
words that have awakened my heart))
혼자였던 yesterday 셀 수 없는 시선에 떨어지는 눈물로 하루를 또 견디고
(Honjayeodeon
yesterday sel su eopsneun siseone tteoreojineun nunmullo harureul tto gyeondigo)
((The lonely yesterday
with countless eyes on me, I endure the day again with falling tears))
아슬했던 yesterday 쏟아지던 말들에 흔들리는 나를 또 감싸고
(Aseulhaedeon
yesterday ssodajideon maldeure heundeullineun nareul tto gamssago)
((The breathtaking
yesterday with those spilling words, I embrace my trembling self))
빛을 쏟는 sky 그 아래 선 아이 I 꿈꾸듯이 fly
(Bicceul ssotneun sky
geu arae seon ai I kkumkkudeusi fly)
((The sky is pouring
light, underneath is a kid standing, I, fly as if I’m dreaming))
My life is a beauty,
my life is a beauty
꽃잎은 저물고 힘겨웠던 난 작은 빛을 따라서
(Kkoccipeun jeomulgo
himgyeowodeon nan jageun bicceul ttaraseo)
((Those flower petals
withered as I was having a hard time, but I followed the small light))
아득했던 날 저 멀리 보내고 찬란하게 날아가
(Adeukhaedeon nal jeo
meolli bonaego chanranhage naraga)
((I send those faraway
days in memories, then I fly away, splendidly))
빛을 쏟는 sky 새로워진 eyes 새로워진 eyes
(Bicceul ssotneun sky
saerowojin eyes saerowojin eyes)
((The sky is pouring
light, it’s a brand new eyes, it’s a brand new eyes))
저 멀리로 fly, fly high, fly high 난 나만의 beauty
(Jeo meolliro fly,
fly high, fly high, nan namanui beauty)
((I fly far away, fly
high, fly high, I am my own beauty))
눈 감은 순간 시간은 멈춰가 난 다시 떠올라
(Nun gameun sungan siganeun
meomchwoga nan dasi tteoolla)
((The moment I close
my eyes, time stops, and I rise up again))
Wrote by Mashita Fandia
