A Weep of Love

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Love is sincerity. Though I’m a cold and skeptical person, somehow I still believe that love is a sincere thing. And for me personally, a sincere thing can’t be easily said. Therefore, when I love someone, I can’t say that easily. Instead, I tend to keep it for myself. There is just too much anxiety. There are just too many fears. These days have been like that too. I love my partner. I’m in love with him, so much I feel like dying inside. Yet I barely say that to him with my own mouth. And most of the time I feel sorry for that. People are not a mind reader. Though I’m old enough to understand that, still I find myself hard to express the feelings I should show and say the thoughts I should tell. In the end, here I am, weeping all alone while my heart keeps on shrieking these unsaid feelings. There is this one melancholic song that comes into my mind right now. It’s a song titled “That Woman (그여자)”, performed by Korean female singer Baek Ji Young.

“How much, just how much longer do I have to look at you like this all alone? This love that came like the wind, this helpless love, will you love me if I continue this way? Come just a little closer, just a little, when I take one step forward, you take two steps back away. Me, who love you, is standing still beside you now, that woman is crying.” –Baek Ji Young, That Woman (그여자) [OST. Secret Garden]

“That Woman (그여자)” was released on November 11th 2010 as the first single taken from the soundtrack of Korean television drama series “Secret Garden”, “Secret Garden OST Part 1”. Due to the immense popularity of the drama series, the song itself also gained success, both commercially and culturally. In 2011, Baek Ji Young won Outstanding Korean Drama OST at the 6th Seoul International Drama Awards and Best Original Soundtrack at the 13th Mnet Asian Music Awards.
"Secret Garden OST Part 1" single cover - source: wiki.d-addicts.com

The more sincere the love, the more it is hard to confess. Well, at least that is what I feel. Thing goes like that for me all this time. This song is a confession. And she begins by telling it through third person point of view; that she knows there is a woman who is sincerely in love with him, that the woman is always watching over him, that the woman is silently keeping her desperate feelings only for herself, that the woman is slowly approaching him only to find him drafting away from her, that the woman is crying inside while standing beside him. “One woman loves you. That woman loves you with all of her heart. Every day, like a shadow, she follows you around. That laughing woman is crying inside. ‘How much, just how much longer do I have to look at you like this all alone? This love that came like the wind, this helpless love, will you love me if I continue this way? Come just a little closer, just a little, when I take one step forward, you take two steps back away. Me, who love you, is standing still beside you now.’ That woman is crying.”
And the story goes on. That woman finds it hard to say everything she feels. Indeed, every sincere thing is hard to say right away. So, she’s been keeping it, even from her best friends. That woman finds it hard to confess her feelings. Indeed, the deepest one is the hardest one to confess right away. That woman knows it all too well that the man is just the same. He’s a timid person too. She feels relate. Perhaps that’s why she fell for him. That woman can only scream inside, that she’s been longing for him, for his embrace, for his love. That woman can only yearn inside, as she’s standing by him. “That woman has a very timid personality, because of this, she learned how to smile. There are many things she can’t even say to her best friend, that woman’s heart is filled with tears. Therefore that woman loved you because you are the same. ‘Yet another fool, yet another fool, just once, can you embrace me before you go? I want to be loved, dear, every day in my heart, only in my heart.’ Crying her voice out for you, that woman stands by your side again today.”
In the end, she reveals that the woman is her. She finally got the courage to say that the story she always tells to him is about her. “That woman is me, do you know? It’s not that you know it but still act like this, right? Of course you don’t know, since you’re a fool.” How can someone be so ignorant regarding to love? Perhaps, it’s because they’re just too busy looking at somewhere else, hence they can’t realize that the person who loves them sincerely is standing just right here all the time. How can someone be so clueless regarding to love? Perhaps, it’s because when we fall in love, we tend to fall at once and for all. What else can we do when the love feels so helpless and hopeless? Smiling on the outside, weeping in the inside. “How much longer do I have to look at you like this all alone? This foolish love, this hopeless love, will you love me if I continue this way? Come just a little closer, just a little. When I take one step forward, you take two steps back away. Me, who love you, is standing still beside you now. That woman is crying.”
"Secret Garden OST Part 5" single cover - source: wiki.d-addicts.com

Hyun Bin, gorgeous Korean actor who also starred as the main protagonist in “Secret Garden”, sang a male version of the song, titled “That Man (그 남자)”. This version was released on January 7th 2011 as a part of “Secret Garden OST Part 5” single album. For the special album soundtrack, Baek Ji Young sang her cover of “That Man (그 남자)”. This pop ballad track is the signature song for the drama series. Some soundtracks last forever, and I’m sure that this song is one of them.

“That woman is me, do you know? It’s not that you know it but still act like this, right? Of course you don’t know, since you’re a fool.” –Baek Ji Young, That Woman (그여자) [OST. Secret Garden]



“Han yeojaga geudaereul saranghamnida geu yeojaneun yeolshimhi saranghamnida
(One woman loves you, that woman loves you with all of her heart)
Maeil geurimjacheoreom geudaereul ttaradanimyeo geu yeojaneun useumyeo ulgoisseoyo
(Every day, like a shadow, she follows you around, that laughing woman is crying inside)

Eolmana eolmana deo neoreul ireohke baraman bomyeo honja
(How much, just how much longer do I have to look at you like this all alone?)
I baramgateun sarang I geojigateun sarang gyesokhaeya niga nareul sarang hagenni
(This love that came like the wind, this helpless love, will you love me if I continue this way?)
Jogeumman gakkai wa jogeumman hanbal dagagamyeon du bal domangganeun
(Come just a little closer, just a little, when I take one step forward, you take two steps back away)
Neol saranghaneun nal jigeumdo yeope isseo geu yeojan umnida
(Me, who love you, is standing still beside you now, that woman is crying)

Geu yeojaneun seonggyeogi soshimhamnida geuraeseo unneun beobeul baeweotdamnida
(That woman has a very timid personality, because of this, she learned how to smile)
Chinhan chinguegedo mothaneun yaegiga manheun geu yeojaeui maeumeun nunmultuseongi
(There are many things she can’t even say to her best friend, that woman’s heart is filled with tears)

Geuraeseo geu yeojaneun geudael neol sarang haetdeyo ttokgataseo
(Therefore that woman loved you because you are the same)
Tto hanagateun babo tto hanagateun babo hanbeon nareul anajugo gamyeon andweyo
(Yet another fool, yet another fool, just once, can you embrace me before you go?)
Nan sarangbadgo shipeo geudaeyeo maeil sogeuroman gaseum sogeuroman
(I want to be loved, dear, every day in my heart, only in my heart)
Sorireul jireumyeo geu yeojaneun oneuldo geu yeope itdeyo
(Crying her voice out for you, that woman stands by your side again today)

Geu yeojaga naraneun geol anayo almyeonseodo ireoneun geon anijyo
(That woman is me, do you know? It’s not that you know it but still act like this, right?)
Moreulkkeoya geudaen babonikka
(Of course you don’t know, since you’re a fool)

Eolmana eolmana deo neoreul ireohke baraman bomyeo honja
(How much, just how much longer do I have to look at you like this all alone?)
I babogateun sarang I geojigateun sarang gyesokhaeya niga nareul sarang hagenni
(This foolish love, this hopeless love, will you love me if I continue this way?)
Jogeumman gakkai wa jogeumman hanbal dagagamyeon du bal domangganeun
(Come just a little closer, just a little, when I take one step forward, you take two steps back away)
Neol saranghaneun nal jigeumdo yeope isseo geu yeojan umnida
(Me, who love you, is standing still beside you now, that woman is crying)”

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