Let Me Leave
Sunday, October 18, 2015
When a man’s hurt, they can
be as hurt as women, even deeper. When a man’s heart is broken, it can be as
painful as women, even more. When a man loves, he tends to give everything; all
in. He doesn’t even care whether his love is taken for granted. Until one day,
if he keeps being hurt and the pain becomes unbearable, he will have it enough.
And when that day comes, no one can keep him from leaving; not even the person
he used to love dearly. Well, more or less, that’s what I have observed through
my best male friends. These lead to today’s song for Male Special Part 2: Ways of Being A Man, a song titled “Never
Mind, I Go (Sudahlah Aku Pergi)”, performed by Indonesian legendary rocker,
Ahmad Albar. Apparently, this is what will happen if we were taking a man’s
love for granted. They’ll leave, eventually.
“Never mind, I go, why should I
keep waiting on an uncertain promise? Let me be alone, I’ll bring my pain
along.” –Ahmad Albar, Never Mind,
I Go (Sudahlah Aku Pergi)
“Never Mind, I Go (Sudahlah
Aku Pergi)” was first released in 1994 as Ahmad Albar’s solo project. The song
was included in one of Gong 2000’s albums, the band he created with Ian Antono
after God Bless. It’s a rock ballad track with Albar’s
husky voice points out the sadness of the song.
Lyrically, “Never Mind, I Go
(Sudahlah Aku Pergi)” tells the story of a man who has reached his limit in
taking pain in the name of love. No matter whether we’re a man or a woman, I
guess no one wants their love to be taken for granted. Sadly, love is always
searching for excuses. When a promise is broken, love will try to find a reason
to forgive. When your head tells you one reason to leave, your heart will try
to find a thousand reasons to stay. Yes, that’s love. It turns us into stupid
people. “I don’t understand, really, you
broke your promise. I won’t be able to take this pain anymore.” However,
people have their limits. At some point, they’ll get exhausted. The pain is
killing them inside, little by little, all of this time. “Wind, listen to words from my heart, the sad song of universe. Bring
me into your peace realm, only sadness I got in here.”
When that time comes, people
will have it enough. And in the most extreme case, they will decide to leave,
to walk away from all of the pains they have enough. When that time comes, all
they need is to be left alone. They need some time on their own; to
contemplate, to think everything over. “Never
mind, I go, why should I keep waiting on an uncertain promise? Let me be alone,
I’ll bring my pain along.” Unbearable pain makes people numb. It paralyzes
them to the bone. At some point, they could become skeptical about love; feels
like it has no point anymore. Everything becomes a lie. The pain is peeling
them inside, scratching their heart off until there’s nothing left to feel;
numb. “Until when will I live like this?
Artificiality is getting more rampant. Love has lost its meaning, everything
becomes pointless.”
My
father is a huge fans of Ahmad Albar. Therefore, I grew up listening to his
songs. So, now you know why I have a quite quirky taste of music. My parents’
influence has rooted deep within it. However, I don’t mind at all. Instead, I
feel blessed to know this heartfelt song.
“Until when will I live like this?
Artificiality is getting more rampant. Love has lost its meaning, everything
becomes pointless.” –Ahmad Albar, Never
Mind, I Go (Sudahlah Aku Pergi)
“Sungguh aku tak mengerti, engkau ingkari janjimu
(I don’t understand, really,
you broke your promise)
Aku takkan sanggup lagi menerima kepedihan ini
(I won’t be able to take
this pain anymore)
Sudahlah aku pergi, untuk apa menunggu janji yang tak
pasti?
(Never mind, I go, why
should I keep waiting on an uncertain promise?)
Biarlah ku sendiri, akan kubawa kepedihanku
(Let me be alone, I’ll bring
my pain along)
Angin, dengar kata hati, nyanyian duka semesta
(Wind, listen to words from
my heart, the sad song of universe)
Bawa ke alam damaimu, di sini duka kudapati
(Bring me into your peace
realm, only sadness I got in here)
Sampai kapan hidupku begini? Kepalsuan semakin
merajalela
(Until when will I live like
this? Artificiality is getting more rampant)
Kasih sayang kehilangan makna, semua menjadi percuma
(Love has lost its meaning,
everything becomes pointless)”
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