The Deepest

Sunday, May 21, 2017



People say that when a heart breaks, it does not breakeven. Though I believe that there is no hierarchy in pain and heartbreak, it cannot be denied that when a heart breaks, it does not break even. I understand that everyone has their own way to love someone; however, I also understand it all too well that not all people can love the same way, same weight, and same depth. Hence when a heart breaks, it does not break even. And when it does not break even, there must be something broken and limping inside it. When it does not break even, there must be something defected within it. Moreover, there must be something lost within it. Hence a saying, “Those who are heartless once cared too much.” Probably it is true. I guess it is true. Losing something so precious indeed could give a certain trauma for us. Being left by someone we hold most dear could be a traumatic event for ourselves; moreover, when that person is the one who has touched the deepest of our heart. We might not be able to love the same way anymore; with the same weight and depth. We might not be the same person as we used to be. Since that person is the one who has left the deepest part of ourselves; and it could never came back after being taken from us.

I will never tired for waiting, this love of mine will never fade away. Until the time you never come back, I will memorize it in the heart only.” –Peterpan, The Deepest (Yang Terdalam)

The lyrics I’m about to discuss now are coming from the song titled “Yang Terdalam (The Deepest)”, performed by Indonesian band, Peterpan (now famous by the name NOAH, since the departure of two original members of Peterpan back in 2006). “Yang Terdalam (The Deepest)” was released in September 2003 as a part of the band’s debut studio album, “Taman Langit”. The rock ballad track was also released as the sixth single taken from the album; along with an official accompany music video. Written by the band’s front-man, Ariel, lyrically, “Yang Terdalam (The Deepest)” speaks about how a man deals with broken heart and unrequited feeling after the painful separation with the beloved one.


"Taman Langit" album cover | source: id.wikipedia.org

Talking about ‘letting go’ is always been tricky for me. I have had ‘letting go’ before. However though, I can never imagine experiencing it again. Every time I remember how hard and difficult it was, the process I was going through, and all the painful times I have undergone while trying to ‘letting go’, it all still feels stinging inside my heart. Despite all positive things that I could say and write, the ‘letting go’ thing was always horrible and devastating. Since we have to let go all that we used to want and need. Since we have to let go of all those feelings and forbid ourselves to have them again. But what can we do when that person is the one that we love; the one we always want and need? What can we do to make that person understand what we feel for them? What else can we do but keeping this unrequited feeling for ourselves? “I let go of all that I wanted, I will never repeat it. I’m sorry if you are that I love, and that I am waiting. Have you ever tried to understand? Look at me here. Is it possible if I were dreaming? Is it wrong to be waiting?”
What else can we do but waiting for something we are even not sure of what it is? What else can we but waiting for something until we do not know when? What else can we do but waiting for something we do not even know where to look for? What are we waiting for anyway? Are we waiting for the love to come back? Or are we waiting for the love to fade away? Though we know it all too well that the person would never come back, do we still wait for it? Though we understand that the feeling would hardly fade away, do we keep waiting for it? What do we believe? What do we expect? The person would never come back and the feeling would hardly fade away; hence what else can we do but reminiscing the memory? The person would never come back and the feeling would hardly fade away; even knowing it all, we still even keeping the memories inside our heart and cherish it. “I will never tired for waiting, this love of mine will never fade away. Until the time you never come back, I will memorize it in the heart only.”
The thing is: we should not mistaken ‘letting go’ as keeping the unrequited feeling. However, that is what happens most of the time. That is why I wrote above that the ‘letting go’ topic is always been tricky for me. People think that when they are able to let go of the person they love without clinging onto them and asking them to come back then it means that they are ‘letting go’. However, it is not that simple. In my humble opinion, ‘letting go’ is accomplished when people are able to make peace with their own selves as they deal with the pain and the aftermath of the heartbreak. Hence it is not that easy to say that we are already ‘letting go’. Moreover when it comes to the person who has touched and been in the deepest part of our heart and soul, then it would not be that easy to say that we are ‘letting go’ of that person. “You have left the deepest heart, until there is no love remains in the soul.” ‘Letting go’, for me personally, means that we are able to accept that after the heartbreak, something has changed inside us and we are never be the same person again.


Ariel in Peterpan's "Yang Terdalam" music video | source: Musica Studios

Then again, it will not be easy with that person who has been in the deepest heart of us. Some people are still hoping in their dreams and reminiscing it in their heart while trying hard to forget the feeling. Some people are holding the pain from loving someone who does not love them back. Some people are insisting to keep having the unrequited feeling and waiting for anything. The thing is: we do not always get what we want and need. And we wonder whether it is a wrong thing to still have hope and reminisce the memory. We wonder whether it is wrong to keep the unrequited feeling and waiting. However, something that has been lost will always been there. We can never change what has been there before though it is not there anymore. Even though it is bitter and painful, the dead memory will always live inside our heart and mind. And the essence of ‘letting go’ lies in accepting it; the fact that something has been taken from us so that it has changed us in a way that we are not able to be the same person we used to be before. The essence is to admit that the person has left our deepest heart; leaving it empty and hollow, until we do not know when and who will be there to fill it again someday, somewhere, sometimes in the future.

You have left the deepest heart, until there is no love remains in the soul.” –Peterpan, The Deepest (Yang Terdalam)




Ku lepas semua yang kuinginkan, tak akan ku ulangi
(I let go of all that I wanted, I will never repeat it)
Maafkan jika kau ku sayangi, dan bila ku menanti
(I’m sorry if you are that I love, and that I am waiting)
Pernahkah engkau coba mengerti? Lihatlah ku di sini
(Have you ever tried to understand? Look at me here)
Mungkinkah jika aku bermimpi? Salahkah ‘tuk menanti?
(Is it possible if I were dreaming? Is it wrong to be waiting?)

Takkan lelah aku menanti, takkan hilang cintaku ini
(I will never tired for waiting, this love of mine will never fade away)
Hingga saat kau tak kembali, ‘kan ku kenang di hati saja
(Until the time you never come back, I will memorize it in the heart only)

Kau telah tinggalkan hati yang terdalam, hingga tiada cinta yang tersisa di jiwa
(You have left the deepest heart, until there is no love remains in the soul)

You Might Also Like

0 komentar