Sometimes When You Appear Inside of Me

Monday, April 17, 2017




I guess it is true when people say that there is no such thing as a “free lunch” in this world. Well, I guess everything has a price to pay. And what I mean by that is that the price is not always in a form of some amount of money; it can be anything though. Everything always comes with a price. When we think that the air we breathe is free, well, we better think again because in order to keep enjoying breathing the free air, we must do something to the nature to preserve it so that it can keep producing the air. So, something is got to give in exchange for everything. That is why I think that the same formula applies for love. Something is got to give for love. And it is including our heart and soul. Therefore no wonder that people say love hurts. Giving out our heart and mind is indeed painful. Since it means that we have become vulnerable. Since it means that we surrender before it. For me personally, I think we understand that we are really in love when there is this stinging pain inside of us whenever that person appears in our mind. Just by their appearance, we long for something we do not understand and it is painful to realize that our expectation does not meet the reality and that our feeling is unrequited. That is when we know we fall in love.

Whenever I see you, my heart aches; what should I do with this heart of mine? The more I approach you, the further you get; looking at you is too painful for me. I keep telling my heart that it is alright, but there are times when it gets too hard.” –Yoo Sung Eun, Sometimes (아주 가끔)

The song lyrics I would like to talk about this time is a Korean song titled "Sometimes (아주 가끔)", performed by Yoo Sung Eun. The melancholic ballad track was released as the single album, “The K2 OST Part 2” on October 15th 2016. It was later released as a part of "The K2 Original Sound Track" album on November 11th 2016. It served as the theme song for tvN’s 2016 famous drama series, “The K2”, particularly for the character portrayed by Im Yoona (of Girls’ Generation), Go Anna. The heart-wrenching ballad accompanies the tragic story of Anna, as it follows the unrequited feeling Anna has towards her estranged father, Jang Se Joon. In the drama series, though, this song could be heard during some scene between Anna and her love interest (as well as her personal bodyguard), the titular character K2 a.k.a Kim Je Ha, who is gorgeously portrayed by Ji Chang Wook. This is out of context but I have to say that, seriously, Yoona and Chang Wook look like a match made in heaven. They look perfectly adorable together as Anna and Je Ha. And the audience just cannot not fall in love with the beautiful couple. Anyway, this song is about the sadness that comes from an unrequited feeling that lingers in our mind, particularly at times when that person appears in our mind, which is quite sometimes.


"The K2 OST Part 2" single album cover | source: wiki.d-addicts.com

The thing about love, which is also the problem about love, is that whether it is unrequited or not, it is always painful. We keep feeling this heartache inside and do not know what to do about it. We will always feel that we are not enough for that person and that is the worst feeling ever. We will always feel that what we do is useless for that person and that it does not mean a thing for them. It feels like every step we take will never bring us closer to that person; that it takes us apart instead. “Whenever I see you, my heart aches; what should I do with this heart of mine? The more I approach you, the further you get; looking at you is too painful for me. I keep telling my heart that it is alright, but there are times when it gets too hard.” And there are times when our heart just cannot bear the pain caused by those acts of sincere love we have for that person. At times like that, we cry in silence. “Sometimes, I silently cry; sometimes, I keep thinking of you. Like a fool, I stand alone on this road we used to walk on together; calling out your name once again.”
The thing about love, which is also the problem about love, is that whether it is unrequited or not, it is always hurtful. We keep thinking of that person and do not have any idea what to do about it. we will always feel that we do not deserve that person and that is the worst feeling ever. We will always feel what we say is pointless for that person and that it will not do any good for them. It feels like every effort we do will never reach the heart of that person; that it takes them away instead. “My heart keeps beating towards you; what should I do with it? The more I try to erase, the more vivid you get; trying to empty you out is so painful for me. I miss you, every time my feelings for you that haven’t reached you well up inside.” And there are times when our soul just cannot hold the ache caused by those acts of deep love we feel for that person. And at times like that, we stand alone longing for them. “Sometimes, I silently cry; sometimes, I keep thinking of you. In this painful time of you, I stand alone, as I think about your face that comes up once again.”
The thing about love, moreover the unrequited love, is that it always feels wrongful. It feels too painful to look at that person since we cannot reach them. On the other side, it feels so painful too to try getting rid of that person from our mind since we keep remembering them instead. Everything we do is hurtful. No matter how hard we try to tell ourselves that we are okay, in fact, we are not fine at all. No matter how hard we try to hang on, there are times when we come to our limits with all the overwhelming pain. At times like that, we cannot contain the sadness and it falls down into tears. “Whenever your memories that are as sad as my tears fall down into my heart. Several times a day, I silently cry; I keep thinking of you countless of times. After you left, I remain here alone, standing here on this road; keep looking back in case you come back to me. Sometimes, I wait for you.” And there is nothing we can do but standing alone on an empty street, calling out that person’s name while, as their face appears in our mind, as we keep waiting for them.


Anna and Je Ha as portrayed by Im Yoona and Ji Chang Wook respectively in the drama series "The K2" | source: tvN

The thing about love, moreover unrequited love, and also the problem with it, is that it always makes us do foolish things. However, no matter how foolish that thing we do is, that thing is sincere. And yes, it does hurt because it matters so much for us. We cry silently because we long for that person. We keep thinking about that person because we care deeply. We walk alone on an empty street just to search for the trace of that person’s presence. We stand alone on an empty road just to feel the trace of that person’s appearance. We keep waiting for that person in case they come back to us. We keep lingering on memories of that person. We keep haunted by that person’s face in our mind. We call out their name silently in our heart. Unrequited love is indeed exhausting. I can say that because I have been there. And based on experience, there is nothing hurt the most than an unrequited love. Even when you already have a partner, it is not a guarantee that your love is not unrequited; since everyone has their own way of loving someone, hence there is always a possibility that every love is actually unrequited. That is just the thing about love; there is something got to give. And it is okay if it hurts, because it means that it matters.

Several times a day, I silently cry; I keep thinking of you countless of times. After you left, I remain here alone, standing here on this road; keep looking back in case you come back to me. Sometimes, I wait for you.” –Yoo Sung Eun, Sometimes (아주 가끔)



 보면 가슴이 아파내 맘을 어떡하면 좋을까
(Neol bomyeon gaseumi apa nae mameul eotteokhamyeon joheulkka)
((Whenever I see you, my heart aches, what should I do with this heart of mine?))
다가갈수록  멀어져 가는널 바라보는  내겐 너무 아파
(Dagagalsurok deo meoreojyeo ganeun neol baraboneun geon naegen neomu apa)
((The more I approach you, the further you get, looking at you is too painful for me))
괜찮다고 가슴을 자꾸다독여봐도너무 힘들 
(Gwaenchanhtago gaseumeul jakku dadogyeobwado neomu himdeul ttaen)
((I keep telling my heart that it is alright, but there are times when it gets too hard))

아주 가끔은  죽여 울고아주 가끔은  생각 하곤 
(Aju gakkeumeun sum jugyeo ulgo aju gakkeumeun ni saenggak hagon hae)
((Sometimes, I silently cry, sometimes, I keep thinking of you))
 바보처럼 너와 걷던  길덩그러니 서서니 이름을  불러도 보곤 
(Na babocheoreom neowa geotdeon i gil deonggeureoni seoseo ni ireumeul tto bulleodo bogon hae)
((Like a fool, I stand alone on this road we used to walk on together, calling out your name once again))

 향해 자꾸만 뛰는이 맘을 어떡하면 좋을까
(Neol hyanghae jakkuman ttwineun i mameul eotteokhamyeon joheulkka)
((My heart keeps beating towards you, what should I do with it?))
지우려 할수록 선명해 지는널 비워내는  내겐 너무나 아파
(Jiuryeo halsurok seonmyeonghae jineun neol biwonaeneun il naegen neomuna apa)
((The more I try to erase, the more vivid you get, trying to empty you out is so painful for me))
보고 싶어 너에게 가지 못한 마음이내게 고이면
(Bogo sipeo neoege gaji moshan maeumi naege goimyeon)
((I miss you, every time my feelings for you that haven’t reached you well up inside))

아주 가끔은  죽여 울고아주 가끔은  생각 하곤 
(Aju gakkeumeun sum jugyeo ulgo aju gakkeumeun ni saenggak hagon hae)
((Sometimes, I silently cry, sometimes, I keep thinking of you))
 니가 담긴 아픈 시간 속에덩그러니 서서니 얼굴을  떠올려 보곤 
(Na niga damgin apeun sigan soge deonggeureoni seoseo ni eolgureul tto tteoollyeo bogon hae)
((In this painful time of you, I stand alone, as I think about your face that comes up once again))

눈물처럼 이렇게슬픈 너의 기억이 맘에 내리면
(Nunmulcheoreom ireohge seulpeun neoui gieogi mame naerimyeon)
((Whenever your memories that are as sad as my tears fall down into my heart))

하루  번씩숨죽여 울고나 수도 없이  떠올리곤 
(Haru myeot beonssik sumjugyeo ulgo na sudo eopsi neol tteoolligon hae)
((Several times a day, I silently cry, I keep thinking of you countless of times))
 떠나 가고 혼자 남은  길덩그러니 서서니가 올까  뒤돌아 보곤 
(Neo tteona gago honja nameun i gil deonggeureoni seoseo niga olkka bwa dwidora bogon hae)
((After you left, I remain here alone, standing here on this road, keep looking back in case you come back to me))
아주 가끔은  기다리곤 
(Aju gakkeumeun neol gidarigon hae)
((Sometimes, I wait for you))

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