Love Hurts II

Wednesday, April 05, 2017




Approximately three decades after Nazareth’s classic rendition of “Love Hurts”, Incubus invites us to talk about it again; same title, different song. Love hurts, they say. I concluded my previous writing (the first part of “Love Hurts”) with: In the end of the day, no matter how cynical we have become because of the heartbreak caused by love, we will eventually search for it. We crave for love and all of its promises of joy and pain and happiness and sadness, whether we realize it or not. We long for the heartache, whether we do have awareness towards it or not. Departed from that conclusion, let’s take a look at this matter with a slightly different approach. Well, love hurts because it causes heartache when expectation regarding to the love itself does not meet the reality. When the previous approach is more cynical about that, apparently this new approach is more optimists, in a way at some point to some extent. When the previous approach seems so corny, apparently this new approach would seem so cliché. But then again, when talking about love, apparently we cannot avoid but being corny or cliché; it is just one way or another.

Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder is there a spell that I am under, keeping me from seeing the real thing?” –Incubus, Love Hurts

The American rock band, Incubus, released “Love Hurts” in October 2008 as the final single taken from the band’s sixth studio album, “Light Grenades”. Written by the band, the alternative rock track had an unofficial video from a live concert released on March 23rd 2007. There is no official video was made for the song. The band’s front-man, Brandon Boyd, said in an interview about “Love Hurts”, “It’s almost a little bit of a cliché. It is talking about the idea of love and finding love and having it be pure and not tainted by our misperceptions, misconceptions, expectations and transcending the sort of more worldly aspects of the love experience.”


"Love Hurts" single cover by Incubus | source: en.wikipedia.org

When we were younger, or to be frankly speaking, when we were kids, don’t you realize that we were full of burning spirits? Kids have endless desire and hope, indeed. And as we grew up, whether we realize it or not, we’ve become colder. It could be caused by anything; the demand we got from our parents, the influence we got from the society, and many more things. Perhaps it is different for everyone. However, there are times when realize the changing and wonder whether we can hold onto the spirit we had when we were young. “Tonight we drink to youth, and holding fast to truth, I don’t want to lose what I had as a boy. My heart still has a beat, but love is now a feat as common as a cold day in LA.” Everything seemed so pure and sincere when we were young. Everything seemed so true and real when we were young. However, things are evolving as we grow up, including love, moreover, our perception towards love. “Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder is there a spell that I am under, keeping me from seeing the real thing?”
Things are evolving as we grow up. Love seemed so easy back then; sweet and innocent. However, reality came and hit us hard. It made us feel like a fool for having the belief that love is pure and sincere. And the result is: we’ve become cynical towards love. Therefore, as we get older, we begin to feel that love is pretty hard to come by, especially the kind of love that we think as true and real. However, here comes the paradoxical side of a human being: we crave for a thing which we know has the ability to hurt us. Only this time, we do not want to lose hope that we could find the harmless one. Hence we hold on to the spirit we had when we were young. “I’m fettered and abused, I stand naked and accused, should I surface this one man submarine? I only want the truth, so tonight we drink to youth, I’ll never lose what I had as a boy.” However, love is just being love. And love will always be love. “Sometimes when I’m alone I wonder is there a spell that I am under, keeping me from seeing the real thing?”
Love is just being love. And love will always be love. It is irrational. The way we build a love-based relationship may be rational, but love itself is always irrational. No matter how hard we try to rationalize it, it just cannot be understood. Love clouds our judgment and keeps us from seeing things the way they are. Love hurts but sometimes we just crave for it because it makes us feel much better. Love shines through the pain it caused. Love is the poison as well as the only cure. It is just that unexplainable thing in life. And the main problem of getting older is that the (idea of) true, sincere, real, and pure love is being extremely uncommon. And when that irrational thing is, ironically, the thing that could make us feel alive, what else can we do but keep on searching for it? And when it is the thing that could save us, we would keep looking for it anyway. “Love hurts, but sometimes it’s a good hurt and it feels like I’m alive. Love sings, when it transcends the bad things, have a heart and try me, ‘cause without love I won’t survive.”


"Light Grenades" album cover by Incubus | source: en.wikipedia.org

As we grow older, the idea of love is shifting, whether we realize it or not. It has twisted with some certain misperceptions, misconceptions, and expectations. Hence we would think that love is more complicated as we grow up. However, it is actually our way of thinking that has become more complicated. Love is just being love. It is always there. It is the evolving self of us that has made it sounds more complicated. It is actually our perspective that has become more twisted. Love will always be love. It is just like that. It is the evolving mind of us that has made it seems so twisted. And the changing self and mind of us is built by experience and the society. In this consumerism era and the age of advance capitalism, even love seems so superficial. In my humble opinion, I think the main problem in our society is that we have forgotten to find love and have it be pure and not tainted by our misperceptions, misconceptions, and expectations. We are too busy being an adult; hence we unconsciously leave the sincerity we used to have as a kid.

Love hurts, but sometimes it’s a good hurt and it feels like I’m alive. Love sings, when it transcends the bad things, have a heart and try me, ‘cause without love I won’t survive.” –Incubus, Love Hurts




Tonight we drink to youth, and holding fast to truth, I don’t want to lose what I had as a boy
My heart still has a beat, but love is now a feat as common as a cold day in LA
Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder is there a spell that I am under, keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts, but sometimes it’s a good hurt and it feels like I’m alive
Love sings, when it transcends the bad things, have a heart and try me, ‘cause without love I won’t survive

I’m fettered and abused, I stand naked and accused, should I surface this one man submarine?
I only want the truth, so tonight we drink to youth, I’ll never lose what I had as a boy
Sometimes when I’m alone I wonder is there a spell that I am under, keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts, but sometimes it’s a good hurt and it feels like I’m alive
Love sings, when it transcends the bad things, have a heart and try me, ‘cause without love I won’t survive

Love hurts, but sometimes it’s a good hurt and it feels like I’m alive
Love sings, when it transcends the bad things, have a heart and try me, ‘cause without love I won’t survive

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