My Immortal

Friday, December 30, 2016




When a relationship is over, people say the person who gives more in that relationship would be harder to forget than the person who gives less. It would haunt them forever and become their immortal. However, that is just what they say. For me personally, I have seen many proofs of that. There are people who feel like they have given their all and everything in a relationship; and when the relationship is over, they find it harder to move on rather than the other person. At least that is what they feel and that is what I witness; though we never really knew what people feel, hence we cannot really say whether someone else is really moving on or not rather than themselves. The essence of loving someone is giving our all and everything, since it would give meanings toward our life and existence. Therefore, that is why they say that people who give more will be harder to forget; since they have lost the source of their existence in this life. One way or another, whether you are the person who gives more or who gives less, a separation is always heartbroken and hurtful. And that is the pain of the broken heart that haunts us forever and becomes our immortal.

I’m so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave. ‘Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won’t leave me alone.” –Evanescence, My Immortal

This song is called “My Immortal”. It is performed by American rock band Evanescence. Released on December 8th 2003, the single was served as the third single taken from the band’s debut studio album, “Fallen”. The album itself was released on March 4th 2003. This power ballad track with slow tempo was written by guitarist Ben Moody, lead singer Amy Lee, and keyboardist David Hodges. An official music video directed by David Mould was released and it was filmed two weeks prior to Ben Moody’s departure from the band. Various versions of "My Immortal" were recorded; one of them was included on the demo album “Origin” and another on the EP release “Mystary”. The version originally appearing on Origin was later included on Fallen, featuring piano with backing strings. The version of the song released as a single was dubbed the ‘band version’ because of the complete band’s performance of the bridge and final chorus of the song. The latest is my favorite version of all.


"My Immortal" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Love will always wound us deeply when it ends. Deep love will always torment us when it is over. Though we know we’re being childish by holding onto those memories for long, we feel we need to have it until it leaves by itself. “I’m so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave; ‘cause your presence still lingers here, and it won’t leave me alone.” When we care so much about someone, their presence, their grace, how they make us feel; it all makes them our whole world. Therefore when they leave, we are left with nothing but emptiness. And without we realize it, our mind is slowly slipping into insanity. We are losing grip. The contrast of happy history and daunting present is unbearable. The shattered memories are haunting. And we are taken apart after they are gone. “You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I’m bound by the life you left behind. Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me.”
Emotional wounds, the very bad ones, will always hurt us physically too. Since there is too much time that we have put into the relationship, it is unable to be erased just like that. Losing the person is like losing a part of us. And by holding onto that person, we subconsciously open the wounds over and over again. This is what makes time cannot erase the wounds of our loss. “These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There’s just too much that time cannot erase.” When we really and truly love someone, we give our all and everything. We sacrifice ourselves for them. We are willing to effort anything for them. We stay beside them no matter how hard the situation is. We accompany them even in the worst and darkest time. We make them our anchor; our source of our life and existence. Hence, they have all of us. We give so many and so we are left with nothing. “When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears. When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me.”
People say that the ones who give more are hurt deeper. The more they give, the deeper it hurts. However, pain does not always work that way. The ones who receive more are also deeply hurt. The more they receive, the deeper they will feel lost too. And the thing about being broken heart is that the more you try to forget, the deeper the memories get into our mind. And the more we remember, the deeper we will feel lonely. “I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone. But though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along.” Imagine losing someone you hold so dear that you wipe every tear they shed. Imagine losing someone you care so much that you fight every fear they feel. Imagine losing someone you love so deep that you hold their hands through the years. Losing someone like that would change yourself and your life, since the memories stay forever. No matter how hard you try to tell yourself that they are gone, they are still with you; they have become your immortal. And at some point you would realize that it all means nothing since you are eventually left alone in this world. And that is when the pain has also become immortal too.


"Fallen" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Some love becomes our immortal. Some pain means to stay forever. Some heartbreak haunts us forever. Some memories mean to linger forever. Some wound cannot be healed as time goes by. Some scars cannot be erased as time passes by. Some are just like that. Some people chase away all of our sanity when they are gone. Some people drain up all of our emotion when they leave. Some people bound all of our memories when they are gone. Some people suppress all of our presence when they leave. Some people become a ghost when they are gone. Some are just like that. They stay with us forever, being embodied in our selves. It changes us in a way we sometimes do not even realize, whether it is in a good or bad way. It is like a ship that loses its anchor; whether it is being wrecked in a storm or being able to stand and get through with it. Both ways it will change us forever. However, when we are able to cope up with it, then that is when we could finally cherish those memories; since there is no such thing as regret in terms of love. Everything is a lesson learned, even those which are immortals.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I’m bound by the life you left behind. Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me.” –Evanescence, My Immortal




I’m so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won’t leave me alone

These wounds won’t seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears, when you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light, now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won’t seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears, when you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears, when you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me, all of me, all of me, all

You Might Also Like

0 komentar