More than Words

Monday, December 12, 2016



There are times in life when we come to a crossroad. That is when we know that it is time to choose which path to go. That is when we realize that it is time to make a decision. And behind every decision that we make, there are other things that we have to give up too, at the same time. Behind every path we choose to go, there are other paths that we have to leave too, simultaneously. These past days have been a great roller-coaster of emotions for me particularly and for me and my partner generally. Conversations and things happen between us; about feelings, dreams, fears, hopes, insecurities, past, and future. And then it all comes down to a big decision we make today. I know he loves me. And I want to believe that it is true and real. However, it is natural for a human being to have a doubt. No, I never doubt his sincerity. I believe that when he says he loves me then he sincerely says that. On the other hand, there are times when action speaks louder than words. There are times that his actions make me wonder about what he really and truly feels. Sometimes it is in the way he talks, or it is in the way he looks at me. Sometimes it is in the way he keeps silent, or it is in the way he stares blankly at the air. Sometimes it is in the way he holds my hand, or it is in the way he walks in a distance from me. He is good with words; I understand it all too well. But somehow, I feel more reassured by things he does rather than words he says.

More than words is all you have to do to make it real, then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me, ‘cause I’d already know.” –Extreme, More Than Words

“More Than Words” is a ballad written and originally performed by American rock band Extreme. This song is described as a soft acoustic rock track, built around acoustic guitar work by Nuno Bettencourt and the vocals of Gary Cherone (with harmony vocals from Bettencourt). It was released on March 23rd 1991 as the third single taken from the band’s second album, “Extreme II: Pornograffiti (A Funked Up Fairy Tale)” or simply known as “Pornograffiti”. The album itself was released on August 7th 1990. In 1999, Irish boyband Westlife covered the song for their self-titled debut album. The song was described by Nuno Bettencourt of Extreme as a song warning that the phrase ‘I love you’ was becoming meaningless. He said, “People use it so easily and so lightly that they think you can say that and fix everything, or you can say that and everything is okay. Sometimes you have to do more and you have to show it. There’s other ways to say ‘I love you.’”


"More Than Words" single cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

Lately I’ve been wondering whether I am being the delusional one in this relationship. Is this feeling I have is reciprocal? Perhaps some people at some point in their relationship have the same wonder too. And I know it all too well that it takes more than words to convince someone about what and how we really feel toward them. How come they say that they want us when they do not touch us? How come they say that they need us when they do not want to meet us? How come they say that they love us when they keep pushing us away? “Saying ‘I love you’ is not the words I want to hear from you. It’s not that I want you not to say, but if you only knew how easy it would be to show me how you feel. More than words is all you have to do to make it real, then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me, ‘cause I’d already know.” He said he loves me; many times. But as many as that, there were times when he made me feel like I was unwanted, undesirable, and useless; when he kept feeding my insecurities which had brought me to my lowest point.
Lately I’ve been asking to myself whether I am being delusive towards this relationship. Is this feeling I have is unrequited? Perhaps some people at some point in their relationship have the same question too. And I’ve experienced enough to understand that it takes more than words as the evidence to proof that we truly love someone. How come they say that they desire us when they are still looking for other person? How come they say that they long for us when they spend the night with other person? How come they say that they think of us when they are dreaming about other person? “Now that I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand, all you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands, and touch me. Hold me close, don’t ever let me go. More than words is all I ever needed you to show, then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me, ‘cause I’d already know.” He said he loves me; many times. But as many as that, there were times when he made me running scared in tears and broke my heart into pieces.
I’m old enough now to understand love; what it is capable of and the pain it can cause, and that there is no such thing as an unconditional love. As poet Daniel Walsh once said; love is not static as it moves and grows, and reduces just the same. It can be eccentric and exaggerated, but never still. He said that to love unconditionally is to cover our eyes and follow blindly; then, too often, we stumble and fall and lose our way. Love with eyes wide open and let ourselves see the beauty and recognize the beast, then learn to walk away or towards, whichever our heart compels. “What would you do if my heart was torn in two? More than words to show you feel that your love for me is real. What would you say if I took those words away? Then you couldn’t make things new just by saying ‘I love you’.” We got to have evidence to support our statement when we say ‘I love you’ towards someone. How could we say we love them but neglect them? How could we say we love them but keep meeting somebody else behind their back? How could we?


"Pornograffiti" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

How could we say we love someone but not feeling fulfilled by their presence around us? Perhaps loving and being fulfilled are two different things. However, I believe that they are connected to each other. Love brings pleasure and satisfaction, hence it is supposed to be fulfilling. How could we say we love someone but being indifferent toward them? How could we say we love someone but feeling embarrassed to show it to the world? How could we say we love someone but not feeling proud to show it to the universe? How could we say we love someone but keep feeding their insecurities? How could we say we love someone but making them feel unloved? If we say that we love someone, then show it and make it real. Since for me personally, love is a verb instead of a noun. Well I guess I still have a lot to learn about love. I do not know much, still, all I know is that love is not only about saying it but also about showing it. It is not about what love is but more about how we love. When we show how we love, then we do not have to say it since that person would understand by feeling it. Though some people say that saying love is important, for me personally the most significant thing to do is showing the love; making it real.

Now that I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand, all you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands, and touch me. Hold me close, don’t ever let me go.” –Extreme, More Than Words




Saying “I love you” is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me, ‘cause I’d already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel that your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn’t make things new just by saying “I love you”

More than words, more than words

Now that I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands
And touch me, hold me close, don’t ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me, ‘cause I’d already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel that your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn’t make things new just by saying “I love you”

La di da, da di da, di dai dai da, more than words
La di da, da di da, di dai dai da, more than words
La di dai, dai dai, di dai dai da la la di da da da
La di dai dai da la la da da, more than words
Oooh uuuuh uuuh uuh, more than words

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