Dear My Man

Monday, July 11, 2016




Insecurities and fears have been the hottest topics in my mind nowadays. I and my partner have been through many conversations about these topics, yet every talk we’ve had always gives us some new perspectives and understandings. One of the things that I’ve found only after meeting him is the fact that actually men do have their own securities and fears. They can be different kinds of insecurities and fears that women have. However, it doesn’t make those that men have are less important. In an article that I found, it’s being said that men are more sensitive than culture gives them credit for. For all of the proclamations of manliness and machismo and how men just don’t worry about the same things that women do, the male ego is surprisingly fragile. Indeed, the patriarchal culture of the world itself is the thing that thins the male ego; therefore it makes men have more complicated insecurities and fears than women, in some cases. So what I’m going to say in this post is in order to encourage men, especially my own, to embrace their insecurities and fears, and be brave, for they are larger than life.

Why can’t you believe it yet? I’ll tell you the real secret of why you are a special mister. You have the key to open the future, so have a dream that’s bigger than a little boy’s. Place me into your shining eyes, my mister, rock this world.” –Girls’ Generation, Mr. Mr.

A song titled “Mr. Mr.” was released by one of South Korea’s most famous girl groups, Girls’ Generation. It was served as the title track for their fourth extended play with the same name. The EP was released on February 24th 2014, while the song was released a day after on February 25th 2014. The song’s music and arrangement was made by the group of music producer, The Underdogs, which consisted of Harvey Mason Jr., Damon Thomas, Andrew Hey, Mike Daley, Britt Burton, and Rodnae ‘Chikk’ Bell. Meanwhile, its lyrics were written by Cho Yoon Kyung and Kim Hee Jeong from Jam Factory. The track was described as an electropop and pop-R n’ B song that incorporates a hip hop beat and EDM-influenced buildups. The music video for “Mr. Mr.” was premiered on Mnet on February 28th 2014. Lyrically, "Mr.Mr." has a more proactive theme with lyrics prompting a reluctant man to be more courageous towards girls.


"Mr. Mr." album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

“Mr. Mr.” lyrically speaks about encouraging and boosting the confidence of those men who have lost courage. Understanding why men show insecurity in relationships is the biggest hurdle to overcoming it. It’s our job as women to reach out for them. “Let’s go! What are you worried about? What are you afraid of? If you keep measuring things out, it’ll be too late. Every day brings a different kind of nervousness. I want somebody to take the lead, but you ignore it and close your eyes. You bad boy, you so bad.” Men do have their own mechanism of thinking and measuring things. At times, that mechanism is a backlash as it’s restraining them to show their true potentials. At this point, we should take the initiative to reduce their anxiety and motivate them to the fullest. “Why can’t you believe it yet? I’ll tell you the real secret of why you are a special mister. You have the key to open the future, so have a dream that’s bigger than a little boy’s. Place me into your shining eyes, my mister, rock this world.”
The world we live in is run by its patriarchal system, and in some way it has repressed men in many ways, including relationship. There are some manifestations of men’s fears and insecurities. First of all is the lack of self confidence. Sometimes they just can’t believe that they’re special to us. And as they are rational creatures, we can start by giving them reasons why we feel that they’re our precious. Second of all, men are living in fears instead of living with intent. They tend to do things out of fears rather than intention. Therefore we can encourage them to dream big and fight hard for it. And also, reassure them that no matter what, we’re always there for them. “In this world in front of you, before anyone else, throw yourself first; more intensely, mister. Only you can fulfill just one thing for the tomorrow that you and I will live inside.” Convince them that the world is widely spread in front of them and that they have to seize it. And then, ascertain them that they’re the one we want and need for facing the uncertain future together.
More about the manifestations of men’s fears and insecurities, there is this kind of conflict between biological and social expectations. This makes men are afraid of neediness. As the social expects them to be independent, they cannot escape from their biological needs that, indeed, they need women. And most of the times, they do become dependent toward the woman they love. Hence, men fear of not being good enough, moreover, when it comes toward their partner. Since the essence of a relationship is meeting our significant other halfway, then it’s women’s job to fill in the blank that is shaped by men’s fears and insecurities. “Be more confident, look at me, yes, you. The one who makes my heart race, the best man, that’s you. You make broken glass from scars turn into stars. The chosen one to make me shine that is you.” A good partner supports each other in every way. When the man loses his confidence, the woman should boost it up; ease their uneasiness, turn on the light in his darkness, make them believe on their own self.

"Mr. Mr." album jacket photo | source: www.soshified.com

Understanding is the gate entrance for two people to accept each other. Henceforth, it is also what people must do in order to accept themselves. One must understand and accept themselves first before they can understand and accept other people. As a human, it is so natural if we have some fears and insecurities. People say that fear is what keeps us alive. And insecurities, it is what makes us human. However, the way we handle our own fears and insecurities is the thing that matters. When we can understand our fears and insecurities, embrace them, accept them, and then that’s when we can fully accept ourselves. Men are fragile, but the way this world works doesn’t let them to be. And that’s just making them more fragile than they actually are. They’ve been taught to take the blame. And they need to be encouraged. However, no matter how hard their woman tries to encourage them, men must believe in themselves too in order to make that happen. They must believe that they can rock the world; that they’re the man.

Be more confident, look at me, yes, you. The one who makes my heart race, the best man, that’s you. You make broken glass from scars turn into stars. The chosen one to make me shine that is you.” –Girls’ Generation, Mr. Mr.




Let’s go! 걱정하는데 ? 됐고 뭐가 두려운데?
(Let’s go! Mweol geokjeonghaneunde neon? Dwaetkko mweoga tto duryeounde?)
((Let’s go! What are you worried about? What are you afraid of?))
재고 재다 늦어 버려 oh oh ooh oh oh oh ooh oh
(Jaego tto jaeda neujeo beoryeo, oh oh ooh oh, oh oh ooh oh)
((If you keep measuring things out, it’ll be too late, oh oh ooh oh, oh oh ooh oh))
매일 하루가 다르게 불안해져 앞서가 주길 바래 누군가가
(Maeil haruga dareuge buranhaejeo ga apseoga jugil barae geu nugungaga)
((Every day brings a different kind of nervousness, I want somebody to take the lead))
모른 눈을 감는 you bad bad bad boy, you so bad
(Neon moreun cheok nuneul gamneun, you bad bad bad boy, you so bad)
((But you ignore it and close your eyes, you bad bad bad boy, you so bad))

당당하게 Mr. Mr.  Mr. Mr. 그래 바로
(Deo dangdanghage neon Mr. Mr. nal bwa Mr. Mr. geurae baro neo neo neo)
((Be more confident, Mr., Mr., look at me, Mr., Mr., yes you, you, you))
가슴 뛰게 Mr. Mr. 최고의 남자 Mr. Mr. 그게 바로
(Nal gaseum ttwige han Mr. Mr. chwegoe namja Mr. Mr. geuge baro neo)
((The one who makes my heart race, Mr., Mr., the best man, Mr., Mr., that’s you))
상처로 깨진 유리 조각도 별이 되는 Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.
(Sangcheoro kkaejin yuri jogaktto byeori dweneun neo Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.)
((You make broken glass from scars turn into stars, Mr., Mr., Mr., Mr.))
나를 빛내  선택받은 그게 바로 Mr. Mr.
(Nareul binnae jul seontaekppadeun ja geuge baro neo Mr. Mr.)
((The chosen one to make me shine, that is you Mr., Mr.))
Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.

아직도 믿지 못해? 진짜 비밀을 알려 줄게
(Wae neon ajiktto mitji motae? Jinjja bimireul allyeo julkke)
((Why can’t you believe it yet? I’ll tell you the real secret))
특별한 mister인지 oh oh ooh oh oh oh ooh oh
(Neon wae teukppyeolhan misterinji, oh oh ooh oh, oh oh ooh oh)
((Of why you are a special mister, oh oh ooh oh, oh oh ooh oh))
미랠 여는 열쇠 바로 니가 가진걸 소년보다 꿈을 끌어안아
(Mirael yeoneun yeolswe baro niga gajingeol sonyeonboda deo keun kkumeul kkeureoana)
((You have the key to open the future, so have a dream that’s bigger than a little boy’s))
빛난 담고서 my mi-mi-mister, rock this world
(Binnan nun sok nal damkkoseo, ny mi-mi-mister, rock this world)
((Place me into your shining eyes, my mi-mi-mister, rock this world))

당당하게 Mr. Mr.  Mr. Mr. 그래 바로
(Deo dangdanghage neon Mr. Mr. nal bwa Mr. Mr. geurae baro neo neo neo)
((Be more confident, Mr., Mr., look at me, Mr., Mr., yes you, you, you))
가슴 뛰게 Mr. Mr. 최고의 남자 Mr. Mr. 그게 바로
(Nal gaseum ttwige han Mr. Mr. chwegoe namja Mr. Mr. geuge baro neo)
((The one who makes my heart race, Mr., Mr., the best man, Mr., Mr., that’s you))
상처로 깨진 유리 조각도 별이 되는 Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.
(Sangcheoro kkaejin yuri jogaktto byeori dweneun neo Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.)
((You make broken glass from scars turn into stars, Mr., Mr., Mr., Mr.))
나를 빛내  선택받은 그게 바로 Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.
(Nareul binnae jul seontaekppadeun ja geuge baro neo Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr)
((The chosen one to make me shine, that is you Mr., Mr., Mr., Mr.))

1, 2, 3, 4, hey, hey, hey, hey, Mr., Mr., Mr., Mr., hey, hey, hey, whooo
지금 세상 안에 oh 앞에 누구보다 먼저  던져
(Jigeum sesang ane, oh, ni ape nuguboda meonjeo neol deonjeo)
((In this world, oh, in front of you, before anyone else, throw yourself first))
치열하게  치열하게 Mr. Mr. Mister
(Deo chiyeolhage deo chiyeolhage, Mr. Mr. mister)
((More intensely, more intensely, Mr., Mr., mister))
오직 그대만이 이뤄 하나 내일 앞의
(Ojik geudaemani irweo nael dan hana naeil ape neo)
((Only you can fulfill, just one thing for the tomorrow))
안에 살아갈 너와  mister wow
(Geu ane saragal neowa na, mister wow)
((That you and I will live inside, mister wow))

당당하게 Mr. Mr.  Mr. Mr. 그래 바로
(Deo dangdanghage neon Mr. Mr. nal bwa Mr. Mr. geurae baro neo neo neo)
((Be more confident, Mr., Mr., look at me, Mr., Mr., yes you, you, you))
가슴 뛰게 oh you are Mr. Mr. 최고의 남자 Mr. Mr. 그게 바로
(Nal gaseum ttwige han, oh you are, Mr. Mr. chwegoe namja Mr. Mr. geuge baro neo)
((The one who makes my heart race, oh you are, Mr., Mr., the best man, Mr., Mr., that’s you))
Oooh 상처로 깨진 유리 조각도 별이 되는 Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.
(Oooh, sangcheoro kkaejin yuri jogaktto byeori dweneun neo Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.)
((Oooh, you make broken glass from scars turn into stars, Mr., Mr., Mr., Mr.))
나를 빛내  선택받은 그게 바로 Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.
(Nareul binnae jul seontaekppadeun ja geuge baro neo Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr)
((The chosen one to make me shine, that is you Mr., Mr., Mr., Mr.))

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