I

Tuesday, March 29, 2016




Today marks the 26th year I’ve been living my life as a human being named Mashita Fandia. I remember last year I wrote about how amazing the life I’ve had for a quarter of century; how amazing the moment when you realize that even the smallest thing you say or do is meant a lot for someone else; the process of sharing meanings in life. One year later after that post now, I’m taking a moment for reminiscing this past year. Many things have happened within this past twelve months. There are bad and good things, sad and happy things, but if I could sum it up, my 25 was amazing. God and universe answered some of my prayers. I got enrolled in a notable graduate school and given chance to study one of my most wanted: cultural studies. I got to meet new friends and given chance to share deeper bonds with some of them. Last but not least, I got myself a soulmate. Within this post that marks my 26th birthday, prayers are uttered that these bonds I have with my significant other, my greatest friends, my beloved family, all will be strengthen in the future, in hopes that we all will never stop sharing meanings in this life. Cheers~

My heart draws out those forgotten dreams again. I gather all those difficult times and swallow them. Small memories wake me up one by one. I’ll spread myself wide enough to fill the world.” –Taeyeon feat. Verbal Jint, I (아이)

In this special occasion, I’m going to review a Korean song titled “I (아이)”. This was a solo debut song from the leader and lead vocalist of the foremost South Korea’s girl group, Girls’ Generation, Kim Taeyeon. It was served as the title track of Taeyeon’s debut extended play of the same name which was released on October 7th 2015. The pop rock track’s music was composed and arranged by a group of composer consist of Myah Marie Langston, Bennett Armstrong, Justin T. Armstrong, Cosmopolitan Douglas, David Quinones, Jon Asher, and Ryan S. Jhun. The song’s lyrics were written by Taeyeon herself along with her featured partner, rapper Verbal Jint, and also Mafly. The music video for “I (아이)” was premiered on Mnet on October 6th 2015. It was filmed in Auckland, New Zealand and told the story of a young woman in search of her true identity and self-actualization.


"I" album cover | source: en.wikipedia.org

“I (아이)” has the power to remind me how great and beautiful life is whenever I listen to it. Even in the middle of a harsh time when reality hits me hard, despite all those tiresome struggles and debacles in life, listening to “I (아이)” could make me feel grateful. Therefore I pick this song in this special occasion. Its narrative lyrics tell a story of a little girl who grows mature along her journey into a young woman, as she tries to draw a silver lining amidst the dark clouds in life. Taeyeon herself said that it’s about being yourself in a freer way, while moving on from hard and frustrating times. “It’s a story that sounds familiar, like the ugly duckling and the swan, or a butterfly before it can fly. People don’t know, for they can’t see your wings, and the world that you’ve met might be cruel. But strong girl, you know you were born to fly. Tears that you shed, pain that you felt, they were all to prepare for the day when you fly higher, butterfly. Everybody’s gonna see it soon.”
The song’s lyrics are intertwined with this special occasion. As I grow older, I learn that maturity has nothing to do with age. Apparently, being old doesn’t always mean that you are mature. Even until now, I’m still learning how to be an adult; what it takes and what the deal about it is. However, these years have taught me that this life is too short to waste it in a daydream. Dreams are important, but what more significant is the efforts to pursue them. “My heart draws out those forgotten dreams again. I gather all those difficult times and swallow them. Small memories wake me up one by one. I’ll spread myself wide enough to fill the world. Through the long night, I want to leave on a trip again, ‘Why not?’ In this world, those are the words that have awakened my heart.” And of course, life is too short to waste it in an endless broken heart. Memories, whether they’re painful or delightful, those are grateful moments we have to embrace for the sake of brighter future. “The lonely yesterday with countless eyes on me, I endure the day again with falling tears. The breathtaking yesterday with those spilling words, I embrace my trembling self.”
Once we’re able to embrace our past, we could begin the self-acceptance. Once we’re able to accept our selves, we could begin to rise again. For me, that’s what it takes for being an adult. It’s more than just a growing body. It’s more than just blowing candles on a piece of cake. It’s more than just starting to wear heels instead of sneakers. It’s more than just knowing how to put a make-up on the face. It’s more than just how you represent yourself in social media. It’s beyond all of those artificial and superficial things, because without you have to tell the world about it, the universe can see for itself when you are sincere. “Those flower petals withered as I was having a hard time, but I followed the small light. I send those faraway days in memories, then I fly away, splendidly.” Being an adult is an endless process of learning, as what life is. It’s about acceptance; a sincere one that comes from the deep of your heart; to let go what has to go and to prepare what is yet to come. “The sky is pouring light, underneath is a kid standing, I, fly as if I’m dreaming. My life is a beauty.”
“The sky is pouring light, it’s a brand new eyes, it’s a brand new eyes. I fly far away, fly high, fly high, I am my own beauty. The moment I close my eyes, time stops, and I rise up again.” I could say all of this since I’ve been through all of those broken hearts, dispirited feelings, lonely nights, struggling days, and those times when life seems so unfriendly. I know it all too well how hard it feels to console yourself, as you are alone during hard times. I know it all too well how difficult it is to wipe your own tears, as you are alone during heartbreaks. I know it all too well how lonely it feels when you have no one to share your pain and sadness. I know it all too well how exhausting it is when you have no shoulders to lean on. Those were in the past now, and though they may come again in the future, at least I’ve learned how to deal with them. I’ve used them all to begin again and stand on my own two feet. Indeed, there is no better teacher than experience. Lastly, happy birthday to me. Let’s embrace the past, seize the present, and enlighten the future.

Those flower petals withered as I was having a hard time, but I followed the small light. I send those faraway days in memories, then I fly away, splendidly.” –Taeyeon feat. Verbal Jint, I (아이)






빛을 쏟는 sky 아래 아이 I 꿈꾸듯이 fly
(Bicceul ssotneun sky geu arae seon ai I kkumkkudeusi fly)
((The sky is pouring light, underneath is a kid standing, I, fly as if I’m dreaming))
My life is a beauty

어디서 많이 들어본 이야기 미운 오리와 백조 날기 전의 나비
(Eodiseo manhi deureobon iyagi miun oriwa baekjo tto nalgi jeonui nabi)
((It’s a story that sounds familiar, like the ugly duckling and the swan, or a butterfly before it can fly))
사람들은 몰라 너의 날개를 네가 만난 세계라는 잔인할지도 몰라
(Saramdeureun molla neoui nalgaereul mot bwa nega mannan segyeraneun geon janinhaljido molla)
((People don’t know, for they can’t see your wings, and the world that you’ve met might be cruel))
But strong girl, you know you were born to fly
네가 흘린 눈물 네가 느낀 고통은 높이 날아오를 날을 위한 준비일 butterfly
(Nega heullin nunmul nega neukkin gotongeun da deo nopi naraoreul nareul wihan junbiil ppun butterfly)
((Tears that you shed, pain that you felt, they were all to prepare for the day when you fly higher, butterfly))
Everybody’s gonna see it soon

빛을 쏟는 sky 아래 아이 I 꿈꾸듯이 fly
(Bicceul ssotneun sky geu arae seon ai I kkumkkudeusi fly)
((The sky is pouring light, underneath is a kid standing, I, fly as if I’m dreaming))
My life is a beauty

잊었던 그려내 움츠렸던 시간 모두 모아 삼켜내
(Ijeodeon kkum nae mam tto geuryeonae umcheuryeodeon sigan modu moa da samkyeonae)
((My heart draws out those forgotten dreams again, I gather all those difficult times and swallow them))
작은 기억 하나 둘씩 깨워가 세상 가득 채울 만큼 나를 펼쳐가
(Jageun gieok hana dulssik nal kkaewoga sesang gadeuk chaeul mankeum nareul pyeolchyeoga)
((Small memories wake me up one by one, I’ll spread myself wide enough to fill the world))
길고 밤을 지나 다시 trip 길을 떠나볼래why not 세상에 맘을 깨워 주는 한마디
(Gilgo gin bameul jina dasi trip gireul tteonabollae why not i sesange nae mameul kkaewo juneun hanmadi)
((Through the long night, I want to leave on a trip again, ‘Why not?’ In this world, those are the words that have awakened my heart))
혼자였던 yesterday 없는 시선에 떨어지는 눈물로 하루를 견디고
(Honjayeodeon yesterday sel su eopsneun siseone tteoreojineun nunmullo harureul tto gyeondigo)
((The lonely yesterday with countless eyes on me, I endure the day again with falling tears))
아슬했던 yesterday 쏟아지던 말들에 흔들리는 나를 감싸고
(Aseulhaedeon yesterday ssodajideon maldeure heundeullineun nareul tto gamssago)
((The breathtaking yesterday with those spilling words, I embrace my trembling self))

빛을 쏟는 sky 아래 아이 I 꿈꾸듯이 fly
(Bicceul ssotneun sky geu arae seon ai I kkumkkudeusi fly)
((The sky is pouring light, underneath is a kid standing, I, fly as if I’m dreaming))
My life is a beauty, my life is a beauty

꽃잎은 저물고 힘겨웠던 작은 빛을 따라서
(Kkoccipeun jeomulgo himgyeowodeon nan jageun bicceul ttaraseo)
((Those flower petals withered as I was having a hard time, but I followed the small light))
아득했던 멀리 보내고 찬란하게 날아가
(Adeukhaedeon nal jeo meolli bonaego chanranhage naraga)
((I send those faraway days in memories, then I fly away, splendidly))

빛을 쏟는 sky 새로워진 eyes 새로워진 eyes
(Bicceul ssotneun sky saerowojin eyes saerowojin eyes)
((The sky is pouring light, it’s a brand new eyes, it’s a brand new eyes))
멀리로 fly, fly high, fly high 나만의 beauty
(Jeo meolliro fly, fly high, fly high, nan namanui beauty)
((I fly far away, fly high, fly high, I am my own beauty))
감은 순간 시간은 멈춰가 다시 떠올라
(Nun gameun sungan siganeun meomchwoga nan dasi tteoolla)
((The moment I close my eyes, time stops, and I rise up again))

You Might Also Like

0 komentar