Sober

Sunday, November 15, 2015

I always have this kind of fear: a fear towards addiction. Unfortunately, I find myself got addicted easily most of the time. In my case, addiction comes from one thing: attachment. Once I got attached to something or someone in particular, I would easily become addicted to it. Then why am I afraid of addiction? Well, now I’m old enough to understand that nothing lasts forever. And I’m old enough now to understand what an addiction is capable of and the pain it can cause. In my case, the pain of an addiction comes from one thing: detachment. So, the real thing that I’m actually afraid of is detachment. Yes, I have a fear: a fear towards detachment from something or someone I’ve been addicted to. However, I’ve faced my biggest fear many times in my life now. And every time I crash and break down, the pain is always as good as new. Like a hangover, it will take me some times to be able to be sober again. And this is one song I feel related to whenever I face my biggest fear: “Sober” by American female singer, Kelly Clarkson.

And I don’t know this could break my heart or save me. Nothing’s real until you let go completely. So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving. So here I go with all my fears weighing on me. Three months and I’m still sober, picked all my weeds but kept the flowers. But I know it’s never really over.” –Kelly Clarkson, Sober

Released on July 10th 2007, “Sober” was taken from Kelly Clarkson’s third studio album titled “My December”. It served as the second single and received generally favorable reviews from music critics. The alternative pop rock track was written by Clarkson herself along with Calamity McEntire, Aben Eubanks, and Jimmy Messer.
Clarkson said in an interview that it’s not easy getting over whatever your addiction may be. Indeed, I agree with her. Lyrically, “Sober” uses addiction as a metaphor for a relationship. It speaks the feeling of how hard it is to get over our past relationship, since it lingers completely on us, like a ghost. “And I don’t know this could break my heart or save me. Nothing’s real until you let go completely. So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving. So here I go with all my fears weighing on me.” When a relationship ended, a part of us died along with it. That’s inevitable. Eventually, we need some time to be alone and contemplate, to recover from the hangover, since being in a relationship itself is like getting drunk and high: addictive. “And I don’t know I could crash and burn. But maybe at the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me. So I won’t worry about my timing, I want to get it right. No comparing, second guessing, no not this time.”
I always say that the art of letting go is never easy. It is, indeed. I can say from my experience that it needs to begin with self acceptance. And that’s another hard thing to do. People need to take their time. Self acceptance and letting go, those are things that easy to say but really hard to do. Moreover, when the thing you have to get rid off is an addiction. It’s hard, believe me, I know how it feels. “Three months and I’m still sober, picked all my weeds but kept the flowers. But I know it’s never really over.” I’ve been there several times. Perhaps the worst was four years ago. It took me some time to recover back then, to be sober. I picked all my weeds but kept the flowers. And yes, somehow it’s never really over. But when there’s nothing left to do but to let go, what can you do? It was like that back then. “Three months and I’m still breathing, been a long road since those hands I left my tears in. But I know it’s never really over, no.”
Getting over an addiction is about survival and knowing what to do when something goes wrong. Sadly, it’s not as easy as being said. “Three months and I’m still standing here. Three months and I’m getting better. Three months and I still am.” We’re living without it but we’re still standing here. We’re getting better but it’s still harder. We’re breathing but we still remember. “Three months and it’s still harder now. Three months I’ve been living here without you now. Three months and I’m still breathing. Three months and I still remember it. Three months and I wake up.” Love hurts whether it is wrong or right; whether it takes us to hell or paradise; whether in the end you will be death or alive; whether you can make it or not; whether you can survive from it or not. Love hurts, but that makes us feel human, feel the life. In order to be sober, first you must forgive yourself. Self forgiving, that’s the hardest thing to do above everything.
No accompanying music video was recorded for “Sober”. However, Clarkson performed the song on several live appearances. Despite its poor performance on music charts, this heartwrenching song is one of my favorite from Clarkson. I fell hard for it since the first time I heard it. And I fell even more when I found myself related to its heartbreaking lyrics.

And I don’t know I could crash and burn. But maybe at the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me. So I won’t worry about my timing, I want to get it right. No comparing, second guessing, no not this time. Three months and I’m still breathing, been a long road since those hands I left my tears in. But I know it’s never really over, no.” –Kelly Clarkson, Sober





“And I don’t know this could break my heart or save me, nothing’s real until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving, so here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I’m still sober, picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it’s never really over

And I don’t know I could crash and burn, but maybe at the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won’t worry about my timing, I want to get it right, no comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I’m still breathing, been a long road since those hands I left my tears in
But I know it’s never really over, no

Wake up, wake up
Three months and I’m still standing here, three months and I’m getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
Three months and it’s still harder now, three months I’ve been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months
Three months and I’m still breathing, three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up”

You Might Also Like

0 komentar