Let Me Leave

Sunday, October 18, 2015

When a man’s hurt, they can be as hurt as women, even deeper. When a man’s heart is broken, it can be as painful as women, even more. When a man loves, he tends to give everything; all in. He doesn’t even care whether his love is taken for granted. Until one day, if he keeps being hurt and the pain becomes unbearable, he will have it enough. And when that day comes, no one can keep him from leaving; not even the person he used to love dearly. Well, more or less, that’s what I have observed through my best male friends. These lead to today’s song for Male Special Part 2: Ways of Being A Man, a song titled “Never Mind, I Go (Sudahlah Aku Pergi)”, performed by Indonesian legendary rocker, Ahmad Albar. Apparently, this is what will happen if we were taking a man’s love for granted. They’ll leave, eventually.

Never mind, I go, why should I keep waiting on an uncertain promise? Let me be alone, I’ll bring my pain along.” –Ahmad Albar, Never Mind, I Go (Sudahlah Aku Pergi)

“Never Mind, I Go (Sudahlah Aku Pergi)” was first released in 1994 as Ahmad Albar’s solo project. The song was included in one of Gong 2000’s albums, the band he created with Ian Antono after God Bless. It’s a rock ballad track with Albar’s husky voice points out the sadness of the song.
Lyrically, “Never Mind, I Go (Sudahlah Aku Pergi)” tells the story of a man who has reached his limit in taking pain in the name of love. No matter whether we’re a man or a woman, I guess no one wants their love to be taken for granted. Sadly, love is always searching for excuses. When a promise is broken, love will try to find a reason to forgive. When your head tells you one reason to leave, your heart will try to find a thousand reasons to stay. Yes, that’s love. It turns us into stupid people. “I don’t understand, really, you broke your promise. I won’t be able to take this pain anymore.” However, people have their limits. At some point, they’ll get exhausted. The pain is killing them inside, little by little, all of this time. “Wind, listen to words from my heart, the sad song of universe. Bring me into your peace realm, only sadness I got in here.
When that time comes, people will have it enough. And in the most extreme case, they will decide to leave, to walk away from all of the pains they have enough. When that time comes, all they need is to be left alone. They need some time on their own; to contemplate, to think everything over. “Never mind, I go, why should I keep waiting on an uncertain promise? Let me be alone, I’ll bring my pain along.” Unbearable pain makes people numb. It paralyzes them to the bone. At some point, they could become skeptical about love; feels like it has no point anymore. Everything becomes a lie. The pain is peeling them inside, scratching their heart off until there’s nothing left to feel; numb. “Until when will I live like this? Artificiality is getting more rampant. Love has lost its meaning, everything becomes pointless.”
My father is a huge fans of Ahmad Albar. Therefore, I grew up listening to his songs. So, now you know why I have a quite quirky taste of music. My parents’ influence has rooted deep within it. However, I don’t mind at all. Instead, I feel blessed to know this heartfelt song.

Until when will I live like this? Artificiality is getting more rampant. Love has lost its meaning, everything becomes pointless.” –Ahmad Albar, Never Mind, I Go (Sudahlah Aku Pergi)


“Sungguh aku tak mengerti, engkau ingkari janjimu
(I don’t understand, really, you broke your promise)
Aku takkan sanggup lagi menerima kepedihan ini
(I won’t be able to take this pain anymore)

Sudahlah aku pergi, untuk apa menunggu janji yang tak pasti?
(Never mind, I go, why should I keep waiting on an uncertain promise?)
Biarlah ku sendiri, akan kubawa kepedihanku
(Let me be alone, I’ll bring my pain along)

Angin, dengar kata hati, nyanyian duka semesta
(Wind, listen to words from my heart, the sad song of universe)
Bawa ke alam damaimu, di sini duka kudapati
(Bring me into your peace realm, only sadness I got in here)

Sampai kapan hidupku begini? Kepalsuan semakin merajalela
(Until when will I live like this? Artificiality is getting more rampant)
Kasih sayang kehilangan makna, semua menjadi percuma
(Love has lost its meaning, everything becomes pointless)”

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