What If

Saturday, April 18, 2015


"Hong Gil Dong" official still photo - source: hancinema.net

Something’s gotta give. When people fall in love, they found and lost something at the same time. Get some and lose some. Well, most of it is they lose some, because we never know whom we will fall in love with. People will lose some more when they fall in love with someone they shouldn’t love; a best friend, for an example. Not only their friendship is at stake here, but also their own feeling is the only thing at risk of being hurt. From many kinds of love that exist in this world, there are two most complicated ones; unrequited love and forbidden love. And in these two, someone’s gotta give. When people fall in love with someone they shouldn’t love, they found a fear among those fluttering feelings, and they lost a courage to confess those sincere feelings; Lost and Found.

Because I’m like a fool, I can only look at you from a distance. Because perhaps your heart would turn away, therefore, we could become estranged and distant.” –Kim Taeyeon, If (만약에) [OST. Hong Gil Dong]

Today’s song for Lost and Found is a soundtrack of Korean drama series, “Hong Gil Dong, which was broadcasted by KBS in 2008. This song is titled “If (만약에)”, performed by the leader and lead vocalist of Korean prominent girl group Girls’ Generation, Kim Taeyeon. The ballad song was released on early 2008 as a part of “Hong Gil Dong OST” album. Taeyeon’s soft and mesmerizing vocal stands out in this sweet-sorrow song about unrequited love.

"Hong Gil Dong OST" album cover - source: myspace.com

We never know whom we will fall in love with. Sometimes, someone falls in love with a person they’ve known well for a quite long time, perhaps their best friend. When that happens, there’s this fear; a fear of losing the friendship and the love at the same time. The lyrics of “If (만약에)” tell about that feeling. “If I were going to go there, if I were going to get close to you, what would you think of? I don’t have the courage to know.” Falling in love itself is not a simple thing. And falling in love with our own friend is making it more complicated. Dealing with love itself is not an easy thing. And dealing with the love we have for our own friend is making it more difficult. “If you were going to go, if you were going to leave, how could I send you away? That keeps haunting my mind, it scares me.” We can’t easily confess the feeling, and we can’t just simply erase it. So as the result in the end, ‘what if’ questions keep appearing in our minds, as we keep the feeling as a secret for ourselves. “If you were going to come, if you were going to come close to me, what should I do? I really don’t have any idea about what I will do.”
All we know is that we fall in love, already. All we know is that we have to deal with the feeling on our own, secretly. All we know is that we have to deal with the fears that come along with the feeling. And nobody said that it was easy, because at all cost, we realize that we will be the one who’s in pain. And at the end of the day, we understand that we will be the one who’s losing. “Because I’m like a fool, I can only look at you from a distance. Because perhaps your heart would turn away, therefore, we could become estranged and distant.” When we don’t confess and someday that person leaves without knowing our feelings, we’ll be in pain. When we confess and that person leaves because they doesn’t feel the same way, we’ll be in pain, and lose the friendship. Eventually, everything’s is gotta give. And sometimes in the end, people stand for the friendship as they keep their feelings inside. Not because the friendship itself, but because they can’t stand being apart from that person if everything turns bad between them because of love confession. “Because I’m really foolish, I can’t even say that I love you. Because perhaps waiting for us to meet again would be painful, and I’m afraid my days would become sad.”

"Hong Gil Dong" official photo - source: hancinema.net

“If (만약에)” was Taeyeon’s first solo debut, as well as her first soundtrack single. It became popular on various online music charts, and earned her an award in the 2008 Mnet Asian Music Awards for Best Original Soundtrack. The critics also praised Taeyeon’s exceptional voice and sad tone, which bring out the soul of the melancholic ballad song. This song was the starting point for her to later gain the title as the Queen of soundtrack.

Because I’m like a fool, I can’t even say that I love you. Because perhaps waiting for us to meet again would be painful, and I’m afraid my days would become sad.” –Kim Taeyeon, If (만약에) [OST. Hong Gil Dong]





“Manyage naega gandamyon naega daga gandamyeon
(If I were going to go there, if I were going to get close to you)
Neon eotteohke saenggak halkka yeonggil nael su eoptgo
(What would you think of? I don’t have the courage to know)
Manyage niga gandamyon niga tteona gandamyeon
(If you were going to go, if you were going to leave)
Neol eotteohke bonaeya halji jakku geobi naneun geol
(How could I send you away? That keeps haunting my mind, it scares me)

Naega babo gataseo parabol su bakkeman eomneun geol amado
(Because I’m like a fool, I can only look at you from a distance, because)
Waemyonhalchido moreul ni maeumgwa tto keuraeso deo meoreojil saiga dwaelkkabwa
(Perhaps your heart would turn away, therefore, we could become estranged and distant)
Jeongmal babo gataseo saranghanda haji mothaneun geon amado
(Because I’m really foolish, I can’t even say that I love you, because)
Mannam dwiye gidarineun apeume seulpeun nanaldeuri duryeowoseoingabwa
(Perhaps waiting for us to meet again would be painful, and I’m afraid my days would become sad)

Manyage niga ondamyon niga daga ondamyeon
(If you were going to come, if you were going to come close to me)
Nan eotteohke haeyaman halji jeongmaral su eomneun geol
(What should I do? I really don’t have any idea about what I will do)

Naega babo gataseo saranghanda haji mothaneun geon amado
(Because I’m like a fool, I can’t even say that I love you, because)
Mannam dwiye gidarineun apeume seulpeun nanaldeuri duryeowoseoingabwa
(Perhaps waiting for us to meet again would be painful, and I’m afraid my days would become sad)”

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