lady antebellum

Need You Now

Tuesday, June 20, 2017




These days I feel like I’m going back to the ground zero; well, though not really, actually. Last weekend my partner came and we met for the first time after being in a long distance relationship for two weeks. It was only two weeks, but still, it is a record for us. Well, I was still crying right after he left again for going back to the town where he works. However, it was not for a long time and I did not bury myself in loneliness again. This time I feel better, somehow. Perhaps it is because the talk we shared, but I am sure that it is mostly because I have seen his presence; moreover, a little bit more mature one. I can feel it through the vibe he gave me from his attitude. And I feel relieved for that. Anyway, I am still listening to the “loneliness mixtape” that I made. However, I do it because I do like those songs. And somehow, at this past midnight, I suddenly remember about six years ago; when I had to spend those nights in desperation, sadness, and loneliness because he left me. Yes, I am talking about the same person here. My significant other was leaving me six years ago. (I can’t believe I have known him for six years already now. Time flies, indeed.) Probably I remember it because the condition now is very different from back then. Moreover, this particular one song reminds me a lot about that time; that hard and rough time back then.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time.” –Lady Antebellum, Need You Now

This one particular song is titled “Need You Now”, performed by American country music trio, Lady Antebellum. The country pop rock track was released on August 11th 2009 and served as the lead-off single as well as the title track to the group’s second studio album of the same name. “Need You Now” was written by the Lady Antebellum, which is consisted of Hillary Scott, Charles Kelley, and Dave Haywood, along with Josh Kear. An official accompany music video was directed by David McClister. In 2011, “Need You Now” won four Grammy Awards, including Song of the Year and Record of the Year. Well, what a year for Lady Antebellum as well as for me! No wonder that I feel connected somehow to this song back then in 2011. Lyrically, the song describes placing a call to someone in the middle of the night due to being lonely and longing for companionship.


"Need You Now" single cover US edition | source: en.wikipedia.org

Do you know what it’s like to get to that point where you feel lonely enough that you make a late night phone call that you very well could regret the next day? I bet you I know it all too well what it feels like. I had done it several times in the past. And 2011 was my hardest year of my life so far, as long as I can remember. I still remember that time vividly; the broken-hearted, the painful separation, the bitter farewell, the last goodbye, and the shattered love. Whether it is in a good or bad terms, a separation is always hurtful. And though the goodbye is settled, there are times when the pain is unbearable. “Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor. Reaching for the phone ‘cause I can’t fight it anymore.” Though the damage is done and there is no way back, there are times when the loneliness is unbearable; including regrets, longing, sadness, and resentment. Those are leading to a false hope and illusion. “Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door. Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before.”
The hardest part of a separation is dealing with our own selves. Are we strong enough to restrain the pain and broken heart? Are we tough enough to stand amidst the storm of loneliness and longing? At the most devastating point, we cannot stop thinking about that person. At the most excruciating point, we always wonder whether that person thinks and feels the same as we do. “And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time.” At the most helpless and desperate point, we cannot help but reaching out for that person again. Though we know we should not do that, we cannot help but calling out for that person again. Since we know that though the person is the one who makes us in pain, the person is also the only one who has the cure. And we do not have a control since we have done some self-damage for losing our minds. “It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now. Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now. And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now.”
“It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now. Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now. And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now.” Dealing with such a heartbreaking thing like a separation, sometimes we just cannot contain ourselves. And most of the times, we choose the shortcut the wash away the pain: drinking. However, most of the times too, being drunk creates more problems rather than solving ones. But then again, people say that drunken people are in their most honest state of consciousness ever. Well, there are also some researches saying that being drunken triggers people to do or say things they do not dare to do or say when they are sober. It brings some kind of magical yet shitty courage and bravery to grab for what we think we need. And in this case, it is the person who has been haunting our heartbroken mind. Though we know that it would end ugly, well, I guess everyone would rather hurt than feel nothing at all, right? I do, at least. “Guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.”


"Need You Now" single cover International edition | source: en.wikipedia.org

Pain makes us feel alive. If I ever got something from my love life experience for my whole 27 years of life so far, it is that pain makes us feel alive. Separation is always hurtful. It brings pain no matter how well and nice we have it settle with the person whom we separated with. The hardest part in the aftermath of the separation is dealing with our own selves; our mind (which works rationally) has to face versus our heart (which works irrationally, or emotionally, and in this case, is at the state of heartbroken and devastated). At the most desperate state in the aftermath, we tend to serve our body for a temporary healing, such as drinking in order to get drunk. And the worst thing to feel, rather than the excruciating pain (from the broken relationship, shattered love, and devastated dream), is the loneliness that comes from the longing; since it comes from the beautiful memories we have shared with that person. And past midnight is always the worst time of a day. We wonder why it must drift away and die. In the end, we know we need that person, because that person is the only one who has the cure, though we also know it all too well that the person is the one who inflicts the pain. Though we might regret it later, we know we need that person now.

Guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.” –Lady Antebellum, Need You Now




Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone ‘cause I can’t fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now

Oh, whoa, guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn’t call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now
I just need you now, oh, baby, I need you now